To not take teenage DD on holiday to Disneyworld Florida?

[NotSureAboutThat]

I have booked our first ever overseas holiday to Disneyworld Florida in August. It is a major thing for us and we have saved for it for a long time. There will be myself, DH, DD1 (age 20) DS1 (age 18) DD2 (age 17), DS2 (age 9) and DD3 (age 7).

It is costing an absolute fortune but is a trip of a lifetime for us. Due to the cost, we have said to the older DCs that they need to have saved enough money to pay for their food, accommodation and spending money. They all have jobs and still live at home although DS1/DD2 only work part time as they are at college. They earn enough to be able to save enough though.

Yesterday, I had a massive argument with DD2 as she is not saving any money and I told her she is not coming unless she can pay her way. She said fine she won't come then. I was furious at her mouthing off so taking her at her word, I have changed the plane ticket in her name to that of DD1's friend who has said she will be delighted to come and will pay for her ticket so we at least get some money back on it. DH agreed with this as he does not want her to come due to her disgusting attitude in general. She is spiteful and nasty to her siblings and seems to hate all of us!

I have told her that she will have to stay with my sister while we are away as I am worried she will have people around while we're not here.

She could not believe I had actually changed the plane ticket and is quite upset about it today.

WIBU?

[NotSureAboutThat]

We booked the trip in February so she has known about it for 4 months now. She needs around £500 which she could have easily put by. She pays me £30 a week keep.

[GiveTwoSheets]

Wow I could not imagine doing that to my 17yr old DD. I can't honestly see how that this will improve relations either.

[NellyTheEfalump]

Ooh the Step Dad comment

[shouldnthavesaid]

she spends all her money on contact lenses.. that she does not need

Are you for real? Surely she needs contacts to see better?! So is she meant to sacrifice seeing properly so that you can 'take' her on holiday?? FFS. It's no wonder she apparently has an attitude problem - she's probably a reflection of her parents!

[TOADfan]

Wow that's awful and your last post makes me wanna shake some sense into you. Way to go putting your husband before your daughter. What a delightful man he is

[Hulababy]

I don't understand the contact lense thing.

Does she not need contact lenses?
Are they clear ones?

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

You book a family holiday but demand money for it from your dcs??

Un fucking believeable.

[treaclesoda]

She spends her money on contact lenses? To help her see?

Damn, that's selfish. I can't imagine being so self centred that I actually wanted to be able to see properly.

[AgaPanthers]

I think 'spends all her money on contact lenses' might be a bit too much though. Don't think anyone here is gullible enough to fall for that.

Made me chuckle though.

[Rebecca2014]

80 pound a week is nothing.

I think this is fake and I hope it is. TROLL ALERT.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

The last time I went to Florida I was 22. My flight and accommodation were paid for on the understanding that I would pay for meals equally etc, pay for the car hire. That was fine. I saved for a year. I was working full time, granted in a badly paid job.

At 17 I went to Florida and had a part time job, it was all of us then. I was just expected to bring my own spending money.

I don't think I am particularly spoilt. My parent are generous, yes and I am bloody well grateful.

You sound horrible.

Why not just tell your older children you don't really want them to come with you?

[ReputableBiscuit]

The stepdad element just makes it trickier - she's going to see it as if he's paying for his family to go, but expecting your 'old' family to pay their way.

How much is the trip costing?

[drudgetrudy]

Your last post makes it all even worse, like you were looking for a reason not to take her.
Your reaction was really disproportionate and you have not thought through the consequences.
If this had been a little day trip fair enough, but.....(lost for words).

[monkeyfacegrace]

Ah, you are on the wind up. I fell for it.

Surely nobody is as fucking stupid as to worry about upsetting dh over a dd.

[Hulababy]

You are now putting your dh before your dd.

She's being excluded by her stepdad and her mum is encouraging it.

This is going to cause damage to your relationship forever if you do not do something now. How much does she mean to you? Seriously. This could be very damaging to your family.

[SoonToBeSix]

Great drip feed do you are making someone who is not even your dd's father make the descision. And you don't want to fall out with him about it. What about falling out with your dd!
And how selfish of her to use her money to help her sight.

[notapizzaeater]

Wow, just wow. If she didn't really hate you all she will now

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Your husband is the worst kind of step dad.

Has his own now and doesn't give a fuck about his step children.

Glad mine isn't like that.

[SoonToBeSix]

X post

[hamptoncourt]

I see. So her stepdad never wanted her to come anyway? Sounds like this argument was a convenient way for you to exclude her and make it sounds like you had a good excuse.

How much money did you expect her to cough up for this trip exactly and how long had she had to save?

Contact lenses aren't exactly a waste of money for an image conscious 17 year old either.

You sound like you prioritise your DH over your DD.

I think YAVVU

[outtolunchagain]

We have just had the holiday of a lifetime at Xmas , we took the three ds aged 20, 16 and 12 ; all in full time education.They took some of their own money but we paid for flights , accommodation , activities and of course food, after all I would have been feeding them at home.

I cannot imagine a family holiday of a lifetime without all the children and isn't it now going to cost more because you will have to pay for the friend.

[Nalia]

DH is adamant she's not coming. In fact he did not want her coming even before this latest argument. He is her step dad and their relationship has never been easy. He has actually paid for the trip and I am not going to fall out with him over it.

FYI similar situation was a major contributing factor to me cutting contact with my mother - her valuing her boyfriends opinon over her responsibility for me when i was still a child

[Berryglitter]

Yabvvvu. Poor kid. If this is how you treat your children, I would hate to know how you treat people you don't like.

[WandaWitch]

she earns £80, pays you £30 so actually has £50 left a week and you think she should have saved £500 up in 16 weeks? So how much would that have left her to live on per week?