To not take teenage DD on holiday to Disneyworld Florida?

[NotSureAboutThat]

I have booked our first ever overseas holiday to Disneyworld Florida in August. It is a major thing for us and we have saved for it for a long time. There will be myself, DH, DD1 (age 20) DS1 (age 18) DD2 (age 17), DS2 (age 9) and DD3 (age 7).

It is costing an absolute fortune but is a trip of a lifetime for us. Due to the cost, we have said to the older DCs that they need to have saved enough money to pay for their food, accommodation and spending money. They all have jobs and still live at home although DS1/DD2 only work part time as they are at college. They earn enough to be able to save enough though.

Yesterday, I had a massive argument with DD2 as she is not saving any money and I told her she is not coming unless she can pay her way. She said fine she won't come then. I was furious at her mouthing off so taking her at her word, I have changed the plane ticket in her name to that of DD1's friend who has said she will be delighted to come and will pay for her ticket so we at least get some money back on it. DH agreed with this as he does not want her to come due to her disgusting attitude in general. She is spiteful and nasty to her siblings and seems to hate all of us!

I have told her that she will have to stay with my sister while we are away as I am worried she will have people around while we're not here.

She could not believe I had actually changed the plane ticket and is quite upset about it today.

WIBU?

[ZanyMobster]

I can totally understand why the OP posted this as a reverse (and why others do sometimes) I also disagree with the posters that have said than MN is always supportive, I can imagine if the OP posted the right way round people would have called troll anyway and not believed it as for some reason MN seems that way at the moment.

Glad you have a lovely family of your own now!!

[ManAliveThisThingsFantastic]

"In the years to come."

The years have been and gone! RTFT!

[maninawomansworld]

She is spiteful and nasty to her siblings and seems to hate all of us!
This sounds to me like a wider issue than the holiday, if this is the case then no YANBU. If she is really a generally horrible spiteful person then she needs to learn a lesson.

If however, her bad attitude is due to your trying to make her pay her way on the holiday while the siblings go free then YABVU. She's still in education, living at home and probably feels it's really really unfair that she has to pay her way while the siblings get it all paid.

As has been said by others, you're laying the foundations for her to really really hate you in the years to come.

[Minnieisthedevilmouse]

Enjoy your holiday. Time to banish this dwelling on the past and smother it with happy new memories x

[YesIcan]

Well done OP. Your mother was vile, vvvvvu. I hope you find some validation in the answers here. BTW I think you were clever to do the reverse.
As I read it I was thinking this op is tough. Once it became about your SD, I thought the op was mad.
Glad you went from such a rubbish family and made your own. Be happy.

[theeternalstudent]

I would be tempted to send your mum a picture of you and your DD having a fantastic time together screaming your heads of as you come down a roller coaster with the line "this is how it should've been"bitch . But I'm sure that it would be wasted on her. Best revenge, as has been said, is to live a happy life.

op and enjoy your trip to Florida with your family.

[Happydaysatlast]

So sorry op. I have grown ups who live at home after uni and teens too.

The older ones have jobs but we don't need them to pay rent we just share the chores.

I wouldn't treat my cat the way your mother treated you love.

So glad you have moved on in life and have your own lovely dd.

[kali110]

Op im so sorry your mom did this too you. Im not surprised your nc with her now.

[Sallystyle]

God OP what a bitch you are! I just can't believe you would be so cruel!






It's ok, I did read the whole thread really ;) I have the handy feature where I can highlight op's threads and I read them all before posting.

I am sorry OP. Your mum sounds cruel :(

[TaliZorahVasNormandy]

Op Your mother should have married my dad, they'd get on well.

My dad promised to give my brother 10k so my DB could re mortgage his house after his divorce. My dad bailed out with a week to go til it was all finalise. Now DB might lose his house.

Why do people have children only to be fucking shitty to them.

[coldwater1]

I never had a great relationship with my step father either. I was close to my mum but over the years i have kept my distance and now just talk to her now and again due to the fact she sided with my step father every time. In fact i now dislike my own mother because of it.

[greenfolder]

you could not be more wrong if you tried.

a holiday of a lifetime should be just that, something to be anticipated with joy and savoured afterwards.

if you wanted to find a way of alienating her you could not have done better.

if her contribution was critical, then you should have sat down with your 17 year old and taken the money off her each pay day.

but i am guessing that this is posted by someone from under a bridge

[KatieKaye]

I know! I misread "12 posts", not 12 pages.
My bad.

[StephenManganiseverywhere]

12 pages though 12


Yes it's looooong, but it's dead easy to highlight the OP's posts which gives you a good enough measure (usually) of how things are developing if you just read those.


Oh Katie

[KatieKaye]

I'm kind of stunned. And I'm a great believer in encouraging kids to save up for things like this.
I can't see how a 17 year old would be able to pay for food, accommodation and spending money at DW. Paying for park entrances and other spending money is fair enough if she's working and has had over a year to plan and save up. But the rest is too much.
Yes - she was stroppy and huffy. Which is pretty much normal for 17 year olds. You should have given her time to calm down and then talked rationally about how you could work things out - e.g. how much money did she have, could she do additional work around the house etc in return for you paying her food and hotel costs.

[Staywithme]

I can understand why 'some' people write reverse threads as it can be easier discussing an upsetting memory as if you're on the outside looking in, IYKWIM When I think of my childhood I think of the child that I was as a separate person otherwise it's too distressing. It was probably OP's way of coping with unhappy memories.

For what it's worth OP I think your mother and stepfather are scumbags doing that on you. I have never asked for housekeeping of my three boys while they were in full time education as I was proud of them trying to improve their lives. These aren't even our birth children but wonderful boys that I could cheerfully throttle at times, lol My oldest has just finished uni at 24 yrs old and hasn't paid a bean. Your mother would still have been having child allowance for you so you shouldn't have been paying any house keeping in my opinion. The best revenge is going on to have a happy life and not repeating her mistakes. Out of curiosity are you also NC with your siblings?

[adsy]

Oops!!

[adsy]

I can't ever imagine being so cruel to my children

[TheBloodManCometh]

I like reverses. Keeps things interesting.

[TheBloodManCometh]

boomerwang because people are coming on and getting their knickers in a twist and getting arse with the OP or just repeating stuff that's already been said. Tales two minutes to scan over the last page or so before posting

[Mrsjayy]

12 pages though 12 , anyway I dont undrrstad reverse aibu I dont know why people do them I am not quick enough to work it out meh we are answering the op thats all

[Panzee]

Coz I like being thread police.

[Boomerwang]

Why are people still telling others to read the thread before posting? Why does it bother you? Why don't you LEAVE the thread if all you're hanging around for is to bawl out the ones who didn't want to read all 9237249387 posts?

[Panzee]

If you haven't got time to read the whole thread, you haven't got time to reply. Even if it wasn't a reverse a long thread has usually moved far along and there's a massive chance your comment is completely irrelevant.

[Groovee]

Before finding out it was a reverse, I was going to say it was a shitty thing to do and that if I was the daughter, I'd plan to move while they were in Florida and go no contact for the rest of my life.

I couldn't imagine leaving one of my kids behind so the others could have such a fab holiday.