To not take teenage DD on holiday to Disneyworld Florida?

[NotSureAboutThat]

I have booked our first ever overseas holiday to Disneyworld Florida in August. It is a major thing for us and we have saved for it for a long time. There will be myself, DH, DD1 (age 20) DS1 (age 18) DD2 (age 17), DS2 (age 9) and DD3 (age 7).

It is costing an absolute fortune but is a trip of a lifetime for us. Due to the cost, we have said to the older DCs that they need to have saved enough money to pay for their food, accommodation and spending money. They all have jobs and still live at home although DS1/DD2 only work part time as they are at college. They earn enough to be able to save enough though.

Yesterday, I had a massive argument with DD2 as she is not saving any money and I told her she is not coming unless she can pay her way. She said fine she won't come then. I was furious at her mouthing off so taking her at her word, I have changed the plane ticket in her name to that of DD1's friend who has said she will be delighted to come and will pay for her ticket so we at least get some money back on it. DH agreed with this as he does not want her to come due to her disgusting attitude in general. She is spiteful and nasty to her siblings and seems to hate all of us!

I have told her that she will have to stay with my sister while we are away as I am worried she will have people around while we're not here.

She could not believe I had actually changed the plane ticket and is quite upset about it today.

WIBU?

Hulababy see my last post, I didn't realise this was about accomodation - I thought it was just spending money.
Never said I loved the life btw it was necessity more than anything.

Lets still have a disney thread though! I bought Mickey Mouse pants when I went there. An odd fever takes over your brain and you do very strange things. At great expense.

My bastard DP tricked me I to going on a roller coaster 'step this way for the teacups darling'. Good thing I was still in sexlust with him or I'd have tipped him out at the top of the loop.

Oh my god. I would never treat my daughter like this. She's still only little but cannot ever imagine hating her enough to exclude her in the family holiday TO DISNEYLAND. I'm really glad I didn't grow up with you as my mother you sound awful.

YABU
You are prepared to waste overs £1000 in airfare and hotel costs and undoubtably really upset her older and younger siblings (who will take sides, probably different ones) just to prove a point.

You are being ridiculous!

Fucking hell.
So she earns £80 a week. From this you take £30. She is left with £50, and from this she pays for contact lenses, because you know she needs them. Clothes, because well she is a teen, the need millions of clothes and no one else buys them for her. Plus on top of this, she has to save up £500... And even though she still has a chance to actually save up enough you have given her ticket away already... Unfuckinbelievale.

And to top it all off, her step dad does not like her. Is she aware of this?

So come on, what is that she does that is so wicked that she still manages to go college and works part time?

When I was 17 the last thing I would have wanted was a trip to Disney (yawn) with the crumblies....but 2 weeks at home with a place all of my own party with all my mated ..maybe she really doesn't want to spend her money the same way you do.

Eep

Not necessarily Aga. DS2 earns £5 an hour atm, he's 17. He has been offered another job when the lad who has it now finds full time work and it will be more money than he is on now.

Actually she gets 50 a week board, with the £20 CB, not including any tax credits owed

So she would have to save £125 a month, you are taking £120 a month and she takes home £320 a month leaving her with £85/month or around £20 a week. Not sure how manageable that is for that age. Depends on whether she pays for bus fares and lunches.

You should be paying for her accommodation. Use her child benefit for it you mean boot.

You value our relationship with your husband more than that with your daughter.

Poor girl is going to have ishoos.

X posts the bloodmancometh.

Spending money if have no issues with. Even 12y takes her own spending money for souvenirs, though we still contribute and when we went with my parents and my younger siblings my dad still treated us adult children too.

But to ask your living at home and not really that old kids to pay for their own accommodation and food on a family holiday I just feel is wrong!

Wonder if op is still expecting the older ones to pay their board and rent for the fortnight they are away too.

If you are not a troll then you are pretty evil. Why stay with a man who never got on with your daughter? Why book a holiday you can't afford? Why say you won't upset your husband for not paying for all of your children?
Do you work Op or are you at his beck and call for everything???

yab dangerously horribly unreasonable and you could ruin ypur entire relationship forever over this

DD's contact lens contract is about £25.00 per month - she's hardly wasting money with those on something she doesn't need.

Is your DH the father of any of the older children?

Aw come on, the OP was bad enough but the updates?.....chinny reckon

You are being beyond unreasonable. She doesn't earn enough money for the amount you want her to save.

Ahh the £30 a week keep has taken this too far OP. Now we know .

Top Tip: Less is more when it comes to trolling.

fucking hell, it would take me donkeys years to save £500 on a part time college salary, I'm 42 and I haven't managed to save that much for a long time. Who on earth makes DC still in education pay for this kind of holiday? And how bloody dismissive are you 'clothes that she doesn't need?'.

You both sound really horrible, and you sound like you value your H over your DD. Sort yourselves out.

And why should any of them cough up £500?
It's cheaper for them all to stay at home. Will cost them £60 and they can spend they rest on whatever they want to do.
Bet they will get no say either in anything they eat, drink, do either when they are all there.

Hopefully, the older ones including the friend will come to their senses and say up yours. We aint going. Rather spend my cash how I want to.

Don't have a problem with spending money. It's good they take extra for them to spend on what they want.

Your poor, poor daughter. I won't be surprised if she feels like she's been pushed out of the family by her step-dad and now you have no doubt just confirmed that in her head. 17 can be a really hard age and a lot of teens can be horrible at that age as they try and transition from being a child to being an adult and test boundaries etc but to give her ticket for this trip of a lifetime just seems beyond cruel.

Someone was asking on a thread recently if anyone ever suspected that they might be the toxic person in a relationship and I can just see your poor daughter on the stately homes thread in the future having gone NC with you and your 'D'H. How you can put him before your own DD is beyond me.

Plus £500 is a lot of money to save in 4 months if she only earns £80 a week and is gibing £30 to you as keep. That means she earns about £200 a month and so you're expecting her to save over 60% of all that she earns for this holiday? To save that much she would only have £20 left a week, it's doable yes but only if she pretty much says goodbye to any social life.

You have acted so unreasonably here and again I think it's awful that, from the sounds of it, you are letting your DH push your daughter out of the trip and, probably in the long term, out of your family.

She is spiteful and nasty to her siblings and seems to hate all of us!

At least you know where she gets it from. She is definitely your child. :)

Also, I'm pretty sure you have to cancel a plane ticket and get a new one in a different name, not just change a name.

Mean and nasty. The whole thing.