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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To not take teenage DD on holiday to Disneyworld Florida?

302 replies

NotSureAboutThat · 28/06/2014 21:02

I have booked our first ever overseas holiday to Disneyworld Florida in August. It is a major thing for us and we have saved for it for a long time. There will be myself, DH, DD1 (age 20) DS1 (age 18) DD2 (age 17), DS2 (age 9) and DD3 (age 7).

It is costing an absolute fortune but is a trip of a lifetime for us. Due to the cost, we have said to the older DCs that they need to have saved enough money to pay for their food, accommodation and spending money. They all have jobs and still live at home although DS1/DD2 only work part time as they are at college. They earn enough to be able to save enough though.

Yesterday, I had a massive argument with DD2 as she is not saving any money and I told her she is not coming unless she can pay her way. She said fine she won't come then. I was furious at her mouthing off so taking her at her word, I have changed the plane ticket in her name to that of DD1's friend who has said she will be delighted to come and will pay for her ticket so we at least get some money back on it. DH agreed with this as he does not want her to come due to her disgusting attitude in general. She is spiteful and nasty to her siblings and seems to hate all of us!

I have told her that she will have to stay with my sister while we are away as I am worried she will have people around while we're not here.

She could not believe I had actually changed the plane ticket and is quite upset about it today.

WIBU?

OP posts:
wigglylines · 28/06/2014 23:00

"I hope you also reported yourself for troll hunting?" well exactly.

wigglylines · 28/06/2014 23:01

NotSureAboutThat I hope you have a lovely time on your holiday.

AgaPanthers · 28/06/2014 23:01

Eh? The poster posed as the bitch mother from hell. That's not posting style, it's just trolling, whether it happened or not.

MorrisZapp · 28/06/2014 23:04

Posting style would mean lack of paragraphs, spelling errors etc. Not posting a false situation and watching lots of people respond to it at face value.

Aeroflotgirl · 28/06/2014 23:07

Oh op just read your recent posts, how sad, I can see it really upsets you some years on despite being NC with them. Your step dad dident want you and nor did your mum, she should have defended you Sad. Would counselling help you resolve all those feelings. Mabe write an e mail to your mum and send it, with exactly ho you feel.

Hiphopopotamus · 28/06/2014 23:07

Although lots of people don't like them, there is nothing in the guidelines against reverse threads.

There is however guidelines against troll hunting and bullying. Getting nasty at the OP is not ok. If you have issues with the thread, either report it or shut the hell up.

For what it's worth, I was one of those who originally reported the thread when I thought it was a troll.

Very sorry for what you went through with your mum OP - you are absolutely in the right. Shocking behaviour.

AllDirections · 28/06/2014 23:08

I'm glad that you're NC with your mother OP. I believe that it happened because I know how horrible some parents can be though I realise it's hard for people to get their heads around when they've been brought up by loving parents. That was a really nasty thing for her and your step-father to do to you.

Spending money I can understand and in my situation now once my DC have finished college I would need a contribution to the holiday too. I would help them to save the money if need be but probably before I booked the holiday because how can you book it for them and then say they can't go?

AllDirections · 28/06/2014 23:09

And I like reverse threads Grin

unrealhousewife · 28/06/2014 23:10

So this happened 20 years ago. Things were different then. Why are you non contact?

Morloth · 28/06/2014 23:12

All reverse threads are made up.

In one there is no way for other posters to get any sort of 'real' story.

They are too one sided and always always have the poster cast as the 'hero' - why bother?

Bloody annoying.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 28/06/2014 23:15

It isn't trolling

You're not the thread police

Your arse isn't a hat so get your head out of it, those posters saying 'troll' and being general twats to the OP.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 28/06/2014 23:16

unreal oh of course, because everyone changes from a dick to a lovely person in 20 years.

my 'grandmother' was a spiteful cow 20 years ago and she's a spiteful cow today.

MorrisZapp · 28/06/2014 23:17

You have no more proof than I do of whether or not the OP is a troll, unless you have information that is not here on the thread.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 28/06/2014 23:19

More threads than not seem to be genuine, so there's more reason to believe that it is genuine than not.

And at least I'm not being a prick about it. Had a bad day, have we?

Ifpigscouldfly · 28/06/2014 23:20

Yes your mother is a first class bitch. Taking money from you when you were still at school is unbelievably awful.

The holiday thing is very sad as well. I can see why you don't see her now. Flowers for you.

You sound lovely.

MorrisZapp · 28/06/2014 23:21

I've had a lovely day. And loads of threads have been zapped lately (see what I did there) after loads of outraged responses from people completely taken in by OP.

So trolling is quite commonplace.

Hiphopopotamus · 28/06/2014 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Maybe83 · 28/06/2014 23:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alisvolatpropiis · 28/06/2014 23:56

I won't be reporting you hip.

OP, it is a shame you didn't start this post from your perspective but I can understand why you didn't. I am glad you are happy now with your own family.

I apologise for suggesting you were a troll earlier. It was the first post thing.

Your mum is an arsehole. I hope she misses you every day.

Nalia · 29/06/2014 00:01

I don't get what's wrong with reverse, since sometimes we want opinions on something that is not based on what we're saying from a first person perspective. People do this all the time in life by presenting hypothetical situations about 'other people' rather than talking about themselves directly.

unrealhousewife · 29/06/2014 00:52

I think it's a really good way to get perspective on something. I would like to hear more about your story though, was this a one off incident? What else happened? Are you posting about this because you regret it?

AnyoneForTennis · 29/06/2014 00:59

'Tegulars' getting away with troll hunting??

Rules only apply to some it seems

AnyoneForTennis · 29/06/2014 01:00

Regulars!!!!

Mrsjayy · 29/06/2014 01:21

That is just shit maybe you should have asked your 17 yr old if she could afford florida you got the ticket change quickly bloody hell I think you are mean and hot heated

YouSayBelloISayPoppaye · 29/06/2014 02:05

I'm actually surprised at the amount of mnetters that think the op is evil.

At 17 I was in college and working and had to pay rent. I'd expect my DS to do the same once he has a job and is around the same age.

I'd rather not spend two weeks with Man I don't get on with and my siblings and mother id rather stay home! She's 17 she agreed what she was going to pay and then thought the bank of mumsie was going to cover her if she didn't.

Chalk it up as a life lesson she won't forget about it I don't forget that my mother lets my db aged 20 love rent free and takes him on holiday twice a year she may not forgive you for it but it's life
And it's something she won't do to her DC!

When she's calmed down ask her if she really wants to go and maybe offer to pay up to what you paid for her flight to go on holiday with her friends If she starts being nice