about an uncle's secret girlfriend coming to our wedding?

[ikeaismylocal]

Dp has an uncle by marriage who is a bit hard work, most of dp's family dislike this man but I have always tried to be friendly to him.

We are getting married in the summer and dp's uncle is ofcourse invited, he has asked if his new girlfriend can come along which is no problem, the problem is he wants us to not tell anyone about his new girlfriend as it's a secret.

Dp's uncle was married to dp's aunt but the aunt sadly passed away about 5 years ago. The new girlfriend is a Thai lady who the uncle met in Thailand ( he owns a house there) the girlfriend speaks no Swedish (dp's family's language) she does speak some English ( my family's language) it would make sense to sit uncle+girlfriend with my family so the gf can join in the conversation.

The thing I'm worried about is that dp's family will find out about the secret girlfriend when they help us with table plans/writing name place labels.

The same uncle also wants to "gift" us 2 dances that will last 10 minutes each! He is going to do a waltz all by himself, all very odd but I don't want to say no and hurt his feelings.

Anyone else had secret/surprise guests at their wedding? How secret should I keep it?

[CheeseToastie123]

OP, you rock. Such calm and humour in the face of true bonkersness. I love it.

[Optimist1]

Yes, Cheese - it's refreshing to have a bride who's so relaxed about her wedding day on these threads! The bridezillas would have dialled 101, had a free half-hour with a solicitor and called SS by this stage. OP, you do indeed rock.

[ikeaismylocal]

I think I might be a little too relaxed, I just want everyone to come, have a nice time, eat some tasty food and generally enjoy themselves. Me and dp will make promises to each other that we intend to keep for the rest of our lives, that's what matters most.

[TallGiraffe]

^ And that is why you will have the best wedding.

[LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett]

I'm just going to admit it. I haven't RTFT. I'm just here for the updates. I LOVE odd uncle. (and you op. under 'bridezilla' in the dictionary there is NOT a picture of you).

[LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett]

And I just read your update about how secret can the secret Gf be because you'll need her name for the seating plan and am sniggering away so much that DH is like this

[BomberManIsAGirl]

Sounds like it's going to be fun


It's always mad Aunties at our family weddings, different mad Aunties but always Aunties.

[Selks]

Aw OP you sound lovely. Whatever happens with bonkers Uncle, you will have a lovely wedding.

[BigArea]

Oh my god Ikea you are awesome

Inertia's suggestion of performing a traditional English dance such as 'the James Sit Down song' totally finished me - fantastic

[Cinnamoncookie]

Tu

[RedSpringer]

Brilliant. The idea of someone deciding to 'gift' you, two dances... What goes on? 10 mins is a realllly long dance too!

[CornChips]

marking for updates too. You sound so delightfully baffled OP. It's cheered me up no end. :)

[jaynebxl]

Anyone remember that song Oops Upside Your Head or something like that? As soon as it came on at school discos we used to all sit on the floor behind each other in a long line and rock along. I think you should prime people ao that when the OU dance has gone on long enough you can stick Oops Upside on and everyone can get on their bums on the dance floor around the dancing uncle. Only problem is you might need a hand to get up afterwards at 30 weeks!

[Simplesusan]

Why not mark the mad uncle's girlfriends place with mystery guest 1, then the his son's girlfriend can be referred to as mystery guest 2.

This is hilarious btw.

[HeyBungalowBill]

Place marking can't wait for the video!!!

[Toapointlordcopper]

A set of score cards poking out of the flower arrangements on each table (together with instructions on the menu to use these as necessary) has now become an essential addition to your wedding planning.

Perhaps instructions should emphasise that scoring the mystery girlfriend is not to be condoned.

[shouldbeelsewhere]

Seconding the oops upside your head suggestion

[SuchSweetSorrow]

Bloody hell this is so funny. The gift of a solo waltz!!

[SuchSweetSorrow]

Yes we need the video uploaded as soon as possible. Sod it being your wedding day wonders if a live video link would be possible

[BrunoBrookesDinedAlone]

'I spoke to my mum today, my brothers new girlfriend ( who I haven't met but who is coming to the wedding) is half Thai! Perfect, they can sit on the same table so any language misunderstandings can be sorted out.'

At the wedding...

Guest 1 - 'So who is 'ikeasbrother's' new girlfriend then?'

Guest 2 - 'Just there on the far table. The Thai lady. No, not the one in the false moustache, glasses and hat... the other one.'

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

OP you sound so lovely. DH and his mad family are lucky to have you!

[perfectstorm]

No advice but you are possibly the most reasonable bride I have ever, ever heard of. I am in awe of your good natured common sense.

BUT... you need to ensure the music provider (and large male friends) know to move him on after ten minutes. Or you may find his solo dancing is indeed half an hour per gig and he just agreed to ten each to humour you.

He sounds mad as a box of frogs. I eleventyeth the request for vids of the high points of this wedding - and most weddings are tedium unconfined.

[Callani]

Why have I spent hundreds of pounds on wedding presents over the years when I could have gifted all those lucky couples with an interpretative dance of their relationship?!

I've been missing a trick...

[ikeaismylocal]

I would recommend people with wedding lists put options such as an interpretive dance, a haiku, a rap and a piece of performance art, it would make a change to toasters and gravy jugs!

There has been a development, cousin with a secret girlfriend has asked if he can bring her ( ofcourse he can) now do I sit odd uncle and lovely cousin ( who is just so adorable and it's his first serious girlfriend even though he's 30) +new/secret girlfriends together? It would be the first time cousin and uncle had met either girlfriend. I'm inclined to think no for the cousin's sake, I'll warn lovely cousin about the dancing so he can decide if it's really the right time to introduce his new girlfriend to the family.

[Stratter5]

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease do the raffle. Please, please, please.