about an uncle's secret girlfriend coming to our wedding?

[ikeaismylocal]

Dp has an uncle by marriage who is a bit hard work, most of dp's family dislike this man but I have always tried to be friendly to him.

We are getting married in the summer and dp's uncle is ofcourse invited, he has asked if his new girlfriend can come along which is no problem, the problem is he wants us to not tell anyone about his new girlfriend as it's a secret.

Dp's uncle was married to dp's aunt but the aunt sadly passed away about 5 years ago. The new girlfriend is a Thai lady who the uncle met in Thailand ( he owns a house there) the girlfriend speaks no Swedish (dp's family's language) she does speak some English ( my family's language) it would make sense to sit uncle+girlfriend with my family so the gf can join in the conversation.

The thing I'm worried about is that dp's family will find out about the secret girlfriend when they help us with table plans/writing name place labels.

The same uncle also wants to "gift" us 2 dances that will last 10 minutes each! He is going to do a waltz all by himself, all very odd but I don't want to say no and hurt his feelings.

Anyone else had secret/surprise guests at their wedding? How secret should I keep it?

[MaryWestmacott]

Oooh, HowMuchMoreWee - yes! OP, really, put odd Uncle back in his box.

[lurkingaround]

This is hilarious! I feel for you OP. No solutions but you have my sympathies. I wouldn't worry about the secret g'friend tho, seems you have bigger things (solo dances) to worry about. He sounds a bit narcissistic.

[KatieKaye]

Can OU (odd uncle) actually dance?
Or does he just think he can dance?
really, it sounds too good to miss.

I agree, dance 1 will end with a proposal to his partner and dance 2 will be about the 2 of them celebrating their love!!

[YoniMitchell]

Gift you two dances?! . Did he offer via a poem?

Can't you tell him you'd rather have a toaster?

[HoneyDragon]

UANBU

Unclezilla needs to be told no. Many times, no.

[ikeaismylocal]

It could be a proposal, I hadn't considered that!

To make things even more confusing dp's cousin ( odd uncle's son) also has a secret girlfriend, I think his gf might be a secret to avoid her ever having to meet odd uncle! I don't think cousin wants his gf to come to the wedding though which is unfortunate as we could have sat the 2 secret girlfriends together.

I don't mind that attention seeking uncle but I do worry about the other guests being too entertained by the dancing and not being able to stifle their giggles.

Odd uncle dances line dances competitively, but I guess line dances are not impressive when done individually.

[raffle]

The bridal head table need to do this after OU does the dance

[Hassled]

HoneyDragon - but if Unclezilla is told no, no-one will ever know what an unpleasant dancing Swedish uncle looks like. In my head he looks like the Swedish Chef.

[Ohwhatfuckeryisthis]

Is it the same woman? My you have an interesting family. Hope the venue has good wifi so someone can post live updates.

[ShakeYourTailFeathers]

I was just about to ask if he was Len Goodman

Bonkers, all of it! As if you don't have enough to worry about organizing the wedding, poor OP

[HoneyDragon]

That's true, I do now want a wedding thread, live one, with Unclezilla updates

[Ohwhatfuckeryisthis]

Oh and will he have a costume?

[springlamb]

Ker-rist and I thought my wedding was a little...weird...what with the wedding car being a 20 year old Volvo estate, BIL the chef being accused of stealing the salmon for the reception, and the last minute fisticuffs in the bathroom between DH BIL and an old family friend whose mother was offended as she wasn't asked to make our wedding cake.

Please can I come. I haven't been to a 'good' wedding in years, for me a 'good' wedding is one where I am not related to the bride and there are several 'sub-situations' going on as well as the nuptials.

[ikeaismylocal]

We put the dress code as "casual, come wearing something that makes you feel comfortable" so there could well be a costume.

I don't think cousin's secret gf is the same lady as he refuses to have much to do with odd uncle, he's never been to Thailand with odd uncle.

There will also be a comody dance between me and dp, dp has his heart set on us doing a waltz ( a Swedish tradition) I will be 30 weeks pregnant, I'm dyslexic and clumsy and very bad at dancing.

My vote is to have ace of bass' "all that she wants is another baby" and me, dp, toddler ds and my huge bump can do the dance together.

I think maybe I should start taking the wedding a little more seriously!

[Didactylos]

Say he can do his dances but only to two songs of your choosing? (personally I would favour Rasputin by Boney M and the Birdy song)

or elope?

an Unclezilla thread - this is something new!

[tabulahrasa]

2 secret girlfriends?

Oh this is the best wedding ever.

Please can I come? I'm lovely at weddings, I'm chatty and I dance (when I'm supposed to not as a gift) and I start clearing up at the end of the night.

I do tend to take balloons home with me if there are any, but they're rubbish at that point , so no-one has ever complained.

[Optimist1]

I can't decide whether the dances will be passionate flamenco/tango-type things, or a Torville & Dean Bolero-esque production (without the ice, obviously - don't want to sound ridiculous!!). Any thoughts, anyone??

(ikea , you are under Strict Instructions to update this thread once the wedding's taken place!)

[anonacfr]

Line dancing flamenco!

I want to come... When's the wedding? Do we get a live video feed?

[Meid]

It also crossed my mind that it will be a dance / girlfriend reveal / proposal.

Sounds very entertaining but it is attention seeking. Not really a gift for you, more something he wants to do for him. Selfish to use your wedding for his own platform in my opinion.

[MistressDeeCee]

Secret girlfriend + solo waltz? oh purleeze...talk about look at me me me he wants to upstage your day and be a focal/talking point. Fine tho, if you don't mind that

[MyFairyKing]

I genuinely snorted reading about his solo waltz.

[ChasedByBees]

This sounds so awesome!

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

Is he uncle nobhead?

[ikeaismylocal]

Maybe I can suggest dp and odd uncle waltz together as they seem to be the only two people interesting in waltzing.