about an uncle's secret girlfriend coming to our wedding?

[ikeaismylocal]

Dp has an uncle by marriage who is a bit hard work, most of dp's family dislike this man but I have always tried to be friendly to him.

We are getting married in the summer and dp's uncle is ofcourse invited, he has asked if his new girlfriend can come along which is no problem, the problem is he wants us to not tell anyone about his new girlfriend as it's a secret.

Dp's uncle was married to dp's aunt but the aunt sadly passed away about 5 years ago. The new girlfriend is a Thai lady who the uncle met in Thailand ( he owns a house there) the girlfriend speaks no Swedish (dp's family's language) she does speak some English ( my family's language) it would make sense to sit uncle+girlfriend with my family so the gf can join in the conversation.

The thing I'm worried about is that dp's family will find out about the secret girlfriend when they help us with table plans/writing name place labels.

The same uncle also wants to "gift" us 2 dances that will last 10 minutes each! He is going to do a waltz all by himself, all very odd but I don't want to say no and hurt his feelings.

Anyone else had secret/surprise guests at their wedding? How secret should I keep it?

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

If you've failed to send out a poem asking for cash then now is the time to ask for the gift of video from at least one of your guests with a steady hand or perhaps a tripod.

[Betrayedbutsurvived]

First ever place mark, but the video will be worth it.

[Inertia]

Can the uncle and dh perhaps have a solo waltz-off?

Is SecretGirlfriend going to be listed on the seating plan as 'mystery guest' ?

[saffronwblue]

I'm sorry you have bargained him down from the original two half hour solos.

[diddl]

Am hoping that "solo waltz" isn't a euphemism!!

Well if he wants to keep his GF a secret, why is he bringing her??

Does he want to keep her nationality a secret, hoping for a reaction when he does a "ta da" entrance with her?

[muffliato]

Sorry for sounding dumb, but when you say solo waltz do you really mean he'll be dancing round the floor by himself?

[TheEnchantedForest]

With his imaginary partner 'in hold'...!!

[diddl]

Back to the op.

So you're OK with the dances, OP?

Re the gfriend.

Tbh, I don't think it's up to you to be trying to keep her a secret.

If she has been invited & the invitation accepted, then if she happens to be mention to your partner's family, then I think that that's too bad tbh.

If she wasn't going to be at your wedding, bit different!

What does your partner think of it all?

I assume he wants his uncle inviting?

Where does he think that his uncle should sit?

Have you asked the uncle?

I can see the sense in sitting them with your family, if the uncle knows before & is OK with it.

[ikeaismylocal]

I imagine he'll really be waltzing around completly by himself, I haven't actually seen the dances, I imagine he wants them to be a surprise.

I hadn't even thought how we are going to put secret gf's name on the seating plan, dp will have to call and find out her name.

Secret girlfriend is coming over for an extended holiday with the idea that she'll apply for Swedish citizenship so I imagine they'll be having their own wedding soon, maybe I can give a dance to them as their wedding gift.

I feel like I would like to get to know secret girlfriend, it can be hard being an immigrant in Sweden especially when you don't know the language, but I'm reluctant to spend extra time with odd uncle, I'll have to suggest a day out just me and her.

[Inertia]

Oh please do gift them a traditional English dance ! There's such a selection to choose from, not just morris dancing - you could do a knees up mother Brown, or the James Sit Down dance, or you and DH could renact the Bucks Fizz skirt-tearing routine. ..

[Ohwhatfuckeryisthis]

do play this
I think you are fab, not bridesillaish and making your wedding as a big lovely inclusive family thing and lovely about secret girlfriend to boot.
Have a lovely day.
But please video it for posterity.

[littlewhitebag]

This wedding sounds excellent. I can't wait to see the video. not marking my place much!

[cozietoesie]

I want to go to this wedding so badly it almost hurts !

[Cerisier]

ikea you are fab. I am sure most brides would find all this very stressful but you sound so chilled. Yours will be a wedding to remember.

Sitting OU with your family sounds like a good idea. You will have to explain to them what is going on though. Keeping SG a secret isn't an option when you have to put a seating plan together.

[PuppyMonkey]

Best thread in ages - the solo waltz could go viral if you video it well . You'll all be loaded.

[phantomnamechanger]

is this "gifting of dances" nonsense idea some sort of tradition or is it all OUs own idea? Has he been a semi professional dancer? won competitions? had lessons? I am just wondering what backstory leads one to think "I know what I'll give them for their wedding gift, I'll dance for them! That will be the perfect thing for their perfect day"

OK, if he genuinely was some sort of experienced performer, that might be one thing, but whoever heard of someone waltzing on their own?

[ChelsyHandy]

What if one of the many Swedish people who speak English speak to the secret girlfriend and ask her why she is there or who with?!

[Stratter5]

My maternal family is Swedish, I have never heard of the Solo Waltz.

I am dying to see it. If OP doesn't deliver with the video, I am going to hunt her down

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

OP, could I possibly have odd uncle's seat at the wedding? He's not going to need it is he?!

[FrankelandFilly]

phantom the OP said the uncle was a competitive line dancer, but there's a huge difference between line dancing and waltzing! It'll be all the better if he waltzes badly (sorry OP)!

[Realitybitesyourbum]

Are people not going to think that you are odd , as they Will think it is some entertainment that you have put on for the guests? I would!

[silverlace]

You know all those bridezilla threads about couples asking for money for wedding/honeymoon etc? Well think about what Stratters5 said, just run a prize draw, £1 a ticket, enough mumsnetters would buy one so you could pay for the lot! If space is tight you could afford a much larger venue, Wembley Stadium probably.

[RhondaJean]

Wait wait wait I don't understand and you need to clear this up for me.

A solo waltz? Ie he will be on his OWN? Only him dancing, no partner?

My bet is that he is taking the opportunity to come out as a transvestite and will arrive dressed in a similar style to the two "lay-deez" from little Britain, twirl around the room, then introduce his new gf who will be a performer from the lady boys of Bangkok dance troupe and will complete a lambada with him.

[kickassangel]

Reality - presumably the guests will all know and love the bride and groom, and be fully aware that crazy uncle dancing is not a representation of who they are as a couple.

They could also introduce it with a careful crafted script. Something about how very happy they are that crazy uncle has thoughtfully prepared such a unique and personal gift for everyone to enjoy.

Ikea you may need to have planned a way to get him off the dance floor. I'm betting that once he gets going, 10 minutes won't be long enough and he'll just keep on dancing. Maybe your dc can join in, or start skidding across the dancefloor on their knees?

[ikeaismylocal]

We are quite an odd couple anyway and the mix of traditions will seem odd so if people think it was our idea to hire solo dancing uncle they probably wouldn't be too surprised!

I spoke to my mum today, my brothers new girlfriend ( who I haven't met but who is coming to the wedding) is half Thai! Perfect, they can sit on the same table so any language misunderstandings can be sorted out.