To want to shout at this bloody child..

[Wilberforce2]

Not sure if I'm being a bit precious but this is driving me mental.

Every Tuesday my ds does rugby 4-5 and as they are only reception and year 1 all of the parents stay. I like staying and enjoy watching him but one of the little girls of another parent is doing my head in. I have a 4 month old dd and every week this little girl does not leave her alone, constantly plays with the hood on the pram (pushing it backwards and forwards), putting her fingers in the babies mouth, kissing her on the lips, takes her toys/muslin off of her, pokes her eyes it just goes on and on. Last week this girl had a heavy cold and was constantly wiping snot around her face then walked over to dd in her pram (I dared to take my eyes off of her for a second) and stuck her fingers in her mouth, Friday my dd gets an awful cold. The mum just laughs and says "oh she is so motherly" or "she just loves babies" but I want her to tell her to leave her alone for one fricking second. Today I told the girl no a few times and had a couple of looks from the mum who then said "oh *** come over here darling I don't think you are wanted" but I can't just watch her prod and poke her for an hour, she was trying to put a pine cone in her mouth then whipped her with a muslin!

Am I being precious or would you keep telling the girl no? Little girl is 2 years old. Older brother is in my ds's class so I don't want to cause an argument.

OP YANBU you've been very restrained and after today I would be saying firmly to the child to leave the pram and the baby alone. And then telling the parent.
It's a shame the 2yo has an ineffectual parent but that's not your responsibilty.

As the mother of a friendly but nosey 2yo DD I'd say YANBU, definitely.

But you should take it up with her mum, who should be paying more attention to what her DD is doing. I'd never let DD do what you described in the OP - I'd take her over to see the baby but tell her she must not touch.

My advice would be get there after them and stand as far away as possible - then if the little girl comes over you can send her back as "mummy will be looking for you"

Yanbu.
I, too, would feel a bit uncomfortable about the situation.
You presume parents will all have similar views on what is ok and what's not and so you presumed the mother would be apologetic and remove their two year old from your baby, as that is what you would have done.
She didn't and made YOU feel as if you were the unreasonable one.
So you know already she doesn't see things the way you do.
The "just speak to the mum" suggestions for me are over-simplifying how to resolve the situation. The mother has not stopped it from happening thus far, why would that change?
I would probably try to keep my distance and just keep saying "baby doesn't like that", quietly wishing small child would go and bother someone else.
That's not very helpful though, us it?

Shout loudly over to the mother "can you come and get her, I can't manage both of them hun, thanks hun" and repeat as nauseum

the hun part is very important

YANBU.

Say something to the child nicely then take it up with the Mum.

Do it in front of the mirror as someone suggested. THis probably wont be the last small child to be a pest to your baby. Get better at dealing with it. The first time will be the hardest.

YANBU. Well ywbu to shout at a two year old but not the mum. My ds is 2 and I'd keep him away from babies because he's too little to understand not to poke eyes/be gentle etc. in fact really you do it to protect the 2 yo too because it would be so awful if the baby got hurt. It's the job of parents /adults to keep both safe from each other iyswim.
It also pisses me off big time the way people are so keen to get little girls to be 'motherly'. My facebook feed is full of little girls being made to hold baby sisters/brothers/cousins/friends etc and pose in an 'awwww' way. You much more rarely see boys being pushed into this type of setup and IMO at 2 boys are just as interested in babies as girls are. 2 yo at the rugby is not being motherly, she's being 2 and very curious about the world. Unfortunately young babies are not suitable playthings to encourage that curiosity, because they are not robust enough nor immune enough. As your poor dd found out by catching a cold!

When I say I'd keep him away from babies I don't mean keep him away (that sounds horrible!) but I wouldn't allow him unsupervised access. In the same way I wouldn't let him play with a friend's lead crystal vase collection either! I also mean 'other people's babies', we are having another ourselves shortly and obviously I won't not let ds touch him/her, he'll have to learn to be gentle and so on. But what I mean to say was, YANBU to expect another mum to keep toddler away from new baby who is not related to her.

Agree with consensus. Tell he calmly but firmly no and more importantly tell the mum. I bet she thinks she is onto a winner not having to entertain her 2 yr old but she should be preventing this. Agree 2 year old knows no better otherwise.

But Usual the baby in the pram can't speak up and say to the toddler " please don't poke my eyes and put your dirty fingers in my mouth " can she?

Why does the baby have to suffer?

Would you honestly have let this scenario play out when your dc were small because after all " it's only a 2 year old "

The OP doesn't have to come across as nasty to the child. A few " don't do that please " loud enough for the mum to hear should suffice.

OP wasn't nasty... she was very descriptive, but didn't say the tot was a flea ridden haglet that needed to be put down!

Just a nosy, snotty kid with no visible form of parental restraint.

Untwisting of knickers required!

usual yup - some of the replies read as though we're talking about a fucking grown adult, not a not-altogether-far-from-babyhood 2yo. I would find this quite endearing, though would gently discourage poking, hurting and snotting on. If I was deeply upset, as OP is, I would have a word with her mum. I can tolerate kids though

Haven't read whole thing so don't know about being nasty to the two year old.
Two year olds do need to learn some boundaries, though and their mothers should respect the fact that other parents aren't always going to have the same "comfort" levels when it comes to babies.

also, don't think this child is behaving badly. are your toddlers not curious/prone to pushing boundaries a bit?

if i were the mum of the 2yo i'd be keeping her away for sure.

yanbu. i would firmly say 'not today, go back to your mummy.' you have to protect your baby as first priority, not offer her up as entertainment for another child.

the child also has to learn that your baby is a person and not a toy.

The two year old May be delightful.
Poking, hurting and snotting aren't endearing though.

well, there always has to be a villain in an aibu thread, why not a 2yo child...!

Ah, but she is the victim here, Vampyre... obviously you have to forget the smaller child in order to believe either of those 2 options.

Pshaw!

At some point we all end to learn what's ok and what might be harmful. It's what makes human beings able to live with each other!

End = need

I don't even get what you're saying, nomama. it's possibly to protect your baby AND not be nasty about someone else's child, would you believe......

OP isn't under any obligation to find the child endearing or anything other than rather annoying because she isn't it's caregiver! Why should she have to entertain this child / safeguard her own baby instead of watching her DS, which is why she's there in the first place!!!

Other peoples children are delightful in theory but as few people would allow a toddler yo put snotty fingers into their mouths it's unreasonable to think the toy should be allowed to stick them in s baby's mouth .

Bottom line is that the mum needs to before involved with her child.

so here's a novel idea - act like an adult and talk to the kid's mother. as i've said.

no, loathe other people's children by all means, but if you're going to have to get used to them to an extent, you should probably learn how to handle certain situations.