To want to shout at this bloody child..

[Wilberforce2]

Not sure if I'm being a bit precious but this is driving me mental.

Every Tuesday my ds does rugby 4-5 and as they are only reception and year 1 all of the parents stay. I like staying and enjoy watching him but one of the little girls of another parent is doing my head in. I have a 4 month old dd and every week this little girl does not leave her alone, constantly plays with the hood on the pram (pushing it backwards and forwards), putting her fingers in the babies mouth, kissing her on the lips, takes her toys/muslin off of her, pokes her eyes it just goes on and on. Last week this girl had a heavy cold and was constantly wiping snot around her face then walked over to dd in her pram (I dared to take my eyes off of her for a second) and stuck her fingers in her mouth, Friday my dd gets an awful cold. The mum just laughs and says "oh she is so motherly" or "she just loves babies" but I want her to tell her to leave her alone for one fricking second. Today I told the girl no a few times and had a couple of looks from the mum who then said "oh *** come over here darling I don't think you are wanted" but I can't just watch her prod and poke her for an hour, she was trying to put a pine cone in her mouth then whipped her with a muslin!

Am I being precious or would you keep telling the girl no? Little girl is 2 years old. Older brother is in my ds's class so I don't want to cause an argument.

[Bluebelljumpsoverthemoon]

Little children who are allowed to be pests to other people are incredibly annoying, little children who are allowed to maul and spread germs over other peoples babies will cause anger, little children who's parents don't clean their face and are covered in snot as a result are repulsive to most of us and believe it or not people don't want to be covered in your child's snots, neither do they want their little babies covered in and eating them!!! If any parent does not want their child to be thought of as vomit inducing and irritating should do what the rest of us do and parent them, don't let them annoy people, hurt babies or touch other peoples property.

Children of parents who can't be arsed to teach them how to behave respectfully of others are rarely likeable and generally most people aren't thinking anything remotely nice about them at all.

Op, tell the mother to keep her kid away from yours, if she touches your pram again, loudly tell the mother to come get her, don't let her touch your baby, you can push her arm away when you see it coming, say no, go away and then tell her mother to come get her. The mother may need to be bluntly told that you don't want her messing with your pram, annoying your baby and and pestering you, it's not adorable but extremely irritating. People that oblivious often ignore any response that doesn't let them know exactly what you think and expect.

[Tanith]

Standing ovation for Bluebell!!!

[OwlCapone]

sooo, suggesting that most babies catch a cold at some point actually means "come hither and put your snotty hands into my child's mouth."

That is the implication, yes. The OP was complaining about the toddler putting snotty fingers in her baby's mouth. You seemed to say it didn't matter because babies get colds at some point.

I don't think wanting to 'shout' is that normal tbh. I only ever shout if I'm extremely angry/upset.

And the OP did not shout. There is a big difference between wanting to shout and actually shouting. I would be surprised if a person only had two "settings: not wanting to shout at all and actually shouting.

[OwlCapone]

The OP hasn't shouted, she's not done anything beyond saying no to the child, she's put up with withering looks and complaints from the mother that her DD "isn't wanted" and had the mother tell her that pinching and refusing to apologise is effectively just what kids do.

The OP has done nothing wrong at all.

[RabbitSaysWoof]

I have a 2 year old.
If he is being a pita I can see it, I'm not blinkered, it would be bad for him if I was and of course I would never allow him to be like this.
It goes without saying that OP is NBU at all I wouldn't want a child hanging of my baby's pram either poking around them.
Siblings can interfere to an extent because its bonding for them both but a siblings classmates little sister? Nah no need.

[VampyreofTimeandMemory]

so why doesn't OP behave as an adult should and speak to the mother instead of criticising a child on mumsnet? or at least complain about the mother rather than the child.

and no, you might think you're reading between the lines but what I meant was there's not a great deal of point in getting angry with the child who gave yours a cold because it won't be the last time it happens.

[PeterGriffinsPenisBeaker]

YANBU.

Definitely not. Lazy parenting does my nut in and you are suffering as a result of the girls mother.

Pity you can't poke the mother in the eye and stick your DS's snotty hands in her mouth to ram the point home.

Good luck with speaking to the mother...

[WanderingTrolley1]

Yabu.

A 2yr old is still a baby. What will you do when your DD starts being friendly and curious about other babies?!

Youu wouldn't want another parent to feel that way about your darling daughter, would you?

[fledermaus]

I wouldn't let my snotty 2yo pester other people so wouldn't have to worry about them feeling that way.

[VampyreofTimeandMemory]

actually tbf, OP hasn't done much criticising, it's other posters who have.

[RabbitSaysWoof]

I think the OP is not confrontational.
Its ok to vent. When I was 4 months post natal I was still bursting into tears about stupid stuff way more minor than this.

[JenniferJo]

I would hope OP would stop her child being a bloody nuisance and force feeding pine cones to a baby. Like most responsible parents would.

YANBU, OP.

[hoobypickypicky]

Oh goodness, I see the "She's a bayyyybeeeee, handwringers are out in force again, deliberately missing the point that the OP feels like shouting but has not shouted at the child (who, it seems, is being "mocked").
Incidentally, I know how I'd feel if my child was "mocked" and "if a bunch of people were saying this shit about [my] baby" - rather mortified. Mortified that I'd allowed my child to be such a bloody nuisance to the extent that I'd offended and annoyed someone because I wasn't adequately supervising my child.

Wilberforce, YANBU to feel as you do. The simple solution is to use what I call the gritted teeth method.
First time the child comes near, before she touches baby/pram/what-have-you: "No, leave my baby alone please".
Second time: "I said leave my baby alone please. Off you go back to Mummy now".

Generally the tone used is enough to make the child realise where your boundaries are.

If the child doesn't realise try repeating it as above - the mother will hear you and be obliged to act.

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

@WanderingTrolley - A 2yr old is still a baby. What will you do when your DD starts being friendly and curious about other babies?!

Youu wouldn't want another parent to feel that way about your darling daughter, would you?

A two yr old is a baby still needing (particular) supervision. NOT to be allowed to wander around and be a complete and utter PITA to other people. Curiosity and being a pest are two completely different things.

Personally, I wouldn't want another parent to feel that way about my darling daughter, but I would make it my business to ensure that my darling daughter was not shoving pine cones into orifices and snotting on a baby. Or being a general nuisance to others. They have to learn.

OP is not being unreasonable in the slightest.

[VampyreofTimeandMemory]

why the fuck would you raise your voice to a toddler who wasn't being deliberately badly behaved? FFS take it up with her PARENT.

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

Vampyre - OP DID NOT raise her voice to the toddler. She is asking opinions as to whether she is correct in feeling aggrieved. Slight difference there . . .

Said toddler should have been properly supervised by her parent, then there would be no problem, and no need for other posters to swear unnecessarily aggressively.

[hoobypickypicky]

Are you "why the fuck"-ing at me, Vampyre?

In case you are, I'll answer "why the fuck would you raise your voice to a toddler who wasn't being deliberately badly behaved? FFS take it up with her PARENT."

I would use a - quote - slightly raised voice for emphasis for the benefit of both parent and child so that they could hear me clearly and so that there was no ambiguity. A soft, sing so, "Ohh don't do that sweetie-pie" may be mistaken by both as something to be ignored. A firm, slightly louder comment is less likely to be misinterpreted, even by an ignorant, lazy parent or a child who is pushing boundaries and prone to ignore being told no.

[hoobypickypicky]

*Sing-song, not sing so!

[VampyreofTimeandMemory]

... thanks evans but if you'd read properly, I wasn't directing that at OP.

[Itsfab]

There already is an atmosphere, it is just you who is feeling it. Tell the mother what the child is doing, it is her fault not the child's.

[Skina]

Bloody hell there are some right arses on this thread. OP YANBU at all. And like previous posters have said, I'd be mortified if any of my children had constantly behaved like this. The child's (yes, child. NOT baby) mother sounds pathetic. Sorry the righteous perfect crew have launched at you. Perhaps their children behave badly too, so they can't see anything wrong. Yawn at the perpetual nastiness from some posters.

[IShallCallYouSquishy]

Toddlers are naturally very curious. However this little girls mother/parents should be teaching her what is acceptable and what isn't. I know if my DD pinched a baby I would be mortified and apologising profusely rather then saying "kids eh" Though my DD HAS been taught how to behave around babies. I also have a 4 month old who DD adores. She kisses him and cuddles him, gives him toys etc but being 2 also takes stuff off him. When she does she gets told that it isn't nice behaviour. She also is taught that nothing is to be put into his mouth.

What I'm getting at is that toddlers will do these things if they're not taught otherwise. It's not the little girls fault she hasn't been.

YANBU to be so frustrated that you want to shout. As come on, who hasn't wanted to shout at their toddler?! I've had to catch myself on several occasions as I've been so close to shouting

[Viviennemary]

The easiest thing to say is baby is not well or baby doesn't like that please stop it and move away. Quite sharply if necessary. However, blame the parents.

[BeCool]

when the Mum says this - "oh come over here darling I don't think you are wanted" it is your cue to Smile, Nod and say Thank You to her with a big grin.