To want to shout at this bloody child..

[Wilberforce2]

Not sure if I'm being a bit precious but this is driving me mental.

Every Tuesday my ds does rugby 4-5 and as they are only reception and year 1 all of the parents stay. I like staying and enjoy watching him but one of the little girls of another parent is doing my head in. I have a 4 month old dd and every week this little girl does not leave her alone, constantly plays with the hood on the pram (pushing it backwards and forwards), putting her fingers in the babies mouth, kissing her on the lips, takes her toys/muslin off of her, pokes her eyes it just goes on and on. Last week this girl had a heavy cold and was constantly wiping snot around her face then walked over to dd in her pram (I dared to take my eyes off of her for a second) and stuck her fingers in her mouth, Friday my dd gets an awful cold. The mum just laughs and says "oh she is so motherly" or "she just loves babies" but I want her to tell her to leave her alone for one fricking second. Today I told the girl no a few times and had a couple of looks from the mum who then said "oh *** come over here darling I don't think you are wanted" but I can't just watch her prod and poke her for an hour, she was trying to put a pine cone in her mouth then whipped her with a muslin!

Am I being precious or would you keep telling the girl no? Little girl is 2 years old. Older brother is in my ds's class so I don't want to cause an argument.

Wilber...I made a rule never to get involved when a thread got like this one. But.....as you know I have spent all my working life...and before that too, in childcare...I love all children...from beautiful clean new borns to snotty nosed SN teens. You CAN gently lead the other child away from your baby...stand between them if you must...squat down and tell the 2 year old quietly but firmly...NO. Just repeat till said child wanders away. You do not need to touch other child just 'block' their access to your precious baby. When my son was only weeks old a friend who was over from South America came to visit. Her 2 year old who had managed to get a snotty nosed kiss in, puked up a foot long tapeworm right next to my baby!!!!!
And Sirchen....How was I to know it was a joke? And I do not need to lighten up. In my last reference they mentioned my unflappability and my 'can do' approach. I am very aware that there is more to life than a snotty nose.

yeah, you are allowed to want to. I reiterate that I think it's weird to want to shout at a child who's not exactly being badly behaved but I realise many of you don't share that opinion.

OP, just call the police.

God bless you, your can do attitude, and your unflappability

It is precisely because the child is two that you should be direct, blunt, forthright, rude, etc. Two year olds don't take hints.

Math - you are going to hell for that

well, you have a different approach to parenting than I do.

sir, what do you expect? we're unhinged

Math... we went to Blenheim Palace, many moons ago. We followed the guide, nice man, patient man. There was a couple in front of us with a 2 - 3 year old boy. The boy was edging under the ropes and poking at the exhibits, pulling at fabrics, twiddling with stuff. His parents looked on fondly, woman cooed, aahd a bit, an older lady poked the guide and pointed, he asked the parents to keep their boy this side of the rope.

Mum said, in that voice ' Sweetheart, don't do that the man says no.' And off we all went. Little boy lolloped along for a while then off he went again, Dad said, again in that voice ' Darling, mummy said no. The man doesn't want you to be there'. By this time the little boy had hold of something that was a bit firmly attached to the fabric of the building, so he gave it a tug... Mum said, 'Honey, we said no. Please don't do that'.

At this point the little old lady wandered across and said, raised voice, very good teacher tone 'Come here NOW. We do NOT play under the rope'. The kid looked up, smiled, said sorry, and stayed close to his mum for the rest of the tour.

So yes, short sharp and no sodding explanation or negotiation required when you need them to simply do as they are told.

ugh, little lad must have been bored shitless though.

5 DCs, hordes of snotty friends and playmates ===> don't care about feelings of 2 yos. They are not the delicate flowers you may think they are.

I think children benefit from knowing exactly what they can and can't do, where the boundaries are, and that no means using the word 'no'. Directness and consistency with 'no' accomplish that. You don't need to be grim about it. Consistently firm and gentle do the job.

I should probably get my handcart ready.

If you don't have a sling, maybe you could push the pram backwards and forwards a lot whenever you see 2yo approach? I'd stand doing that for an hour rather than confront someone (wimp).
Try being nice while giving the brush off 'sorry darling baby is just drifting off to sleep' (while frantically pushing back and forth.

and that no means using the word 'no'

= 'And that if what you want to get across to the 2 yo is 'no' then you need to resign yourself to using the word 'no'.'

Don't know how that got so garbled initially...

you're saying you don't care about the feelings of 2yos, or your DCs and their snotty playmates don't?

you sound like a victorian authoritarian father

Vampyre - so his marvelous mummy and darling daddy should have taken him somewhere else (though doubtless he is on the We took you to stately homes thread right now ).

They should have dealt with him not forced 2 complete strangers to do so. And, believe me, the difference between parent and little old lady voices was amazingly effective, instantly!

of course they should. who takes a toddler on a guided tour...

I do admit my last post sounded quite pompus?(for the life of me cant remember how to spell that word!!) I'm not...really...suppose I was trying to give advice to OP. Vampyre I'm with you. I work in Soft play at the moment and asked a parent to please put socks on their child. They said that the child kept taking them off, so I knelt down and told the 2-3 year old that they cant play if they don't have socks and that Mum would have to take them home if they took them off again...Guess what? Child played in socks for the rest of their session. Kids sometimes listen better for someone else.

I don't. If it comes to a choice between getting snot on a baby, seeing a baby's toys taken and dirtied, sucked, thrown in the grass, and lost, seeing a baby poked or hurt, or being direct, forthright, blunt or rude to the 2 yo then it's Victorian father all the way. Victorian governess might work better though. Victorian governess works really well on other mothers who are inclined to be slackers.

Everyone wins when you are direct and firm. You get the reputation of being the mother nobody messes with and you get to enjoy your hour in the fresh air, the 2 yo learns to listen to the word No, the baby sleeps peacefully and doesn't get a stinky cold. And the toys don't have to be disinfected when you go home.

Hell, I use much the same logic with 16 - 19 year olds

Pompous, yes, but your earnest nature is shining through brilliantly - and your stories of childcare in the harshest of circumstances are bringing tears to my eyes

Nomama -- I bet that Blenheim child survived his encounter with the little old dragon lady and wasn't scarred for life.

Actually, you want to be careful of this girl. It's not unknown for kids to escalate to things like Chinese burns and so on just to see what the baby's reaction will be. It's a rather rarely spoken about aspect of child psychology. I'm not saying be paranoid, just be prudent.

Hell, I use much the same logic with 16 - 19 year olds

Oh, totally - I had to use my Victorian 'charms' just last night (quite late) when 18-yr-old son and his chums were in the garden, drinking, being very loud and sweary and potentially annoying neighbours who were retiring for the evening.

Worked a treat

math at what point do you stop caring about the baby's feelings then? what age do they have to reach?

am I in the minority for caring about the feelings of a toddler?