Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let dd make her communion?

151 replies

creamandsugar · 22/06/2014 10:00

Dd has been accepted into the local primary school, very good reputation etc. It is a Catholic school. Our dc have all been baptised really just to please elderly gps as dh and I aren't religious and back then we didn't mind either way. Looking back I wish now we never did as I am so disgusted at everything to do with the priests and nuns that has come to light recently.
I am thinking of telling the school that our dd will not be doing religion.
I am afraid dd will feel left out if she doesn't make her communion.
Aibu?

OP posts:
KatieKaye · 22/06/2014 10:03

If you are really so disgusted then send her to another school, because it would be hypocritical of you keep sending her there just because it is local and has a great reputation. Or doesn't that seem reasonable either?

NotYouNaanBread · 22/06/2014 10:11

You have no business sending her to Catholic school.

If somebody employed me because I'm good at what I do, but was quite clear that they were disgusted at me for being Irish, I would tell them where to go.

milkysmum · 22/06/2014 10:12

Hi cream. Similar situation here. Moved to a small village where we had family. Local school in Catholic and dd's cousin starting reception same time so made sense she went to that school. As you children were baptised so as not to traumatise my mother but I am a complete non believer! Finding it difficult to deal with the religious teaching and not sure how I will handle the holy communion thing.

EvaBeaversProtege · 22/06/2014 10:14

Take them out of the catholic school.

Leave the places free for people who are proud of their religion & want their children to make their sacraments.

Deftones · 22/06/2014 10:14

We are atheist...I would never send my child to a religious school. Are there no other schools in the area?

CoffeeTea103 · 22/06/2014 10:16

Take them out and then you don't have to be a hypocrite. I'm sure there's many children who would be happy to go there. Besides shouldn't it be your kids choice about whether to be religious or not?

Haggisfish · 22/06/2014 10:17

This is why we didn't send our dc to a religious school. Take them out and send them to another school.

LaurieFairyCake · 22/06/2014 10:19

She will feel left out

And you've made the wrong decision sending her there

However, it is salvageable if you support her - your dd is (obviously) not the Catholic Church so her learning about it and taking communion won't have anything to do with the poor reputation the cc has.

Either take her out or support her.

Don't do that thing where you criticise it in front of her, don't support her and make her feel different to her friends, be antagonistic to the school and what it's trying to do - all of that will negatively impact YOUR dd.

In or out.

ilovesooty · 22/06/2014 10:19

I'm not religious and I agree that you should find another school for your child.Why should you take advantage of the school's reputation and not buy into its ethos?

Millipedewithherfeetup · 22/06/2014 10:20

Totally agree with the other posters here, do not send your children to a faith school, if that faith disgusts you, simple no brainier.

FatewiththeLeadPiping · 22/06/2014 10:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DottyDooRidesAgain · 22/06/2014 10:20

If you choose to send your child to a Catholic school then the religious teachings should be accepted. YABU.

magpiegin · 22/06/2014 10:21

What does your daughter want to do? I can imagine that she will feel left out. I guess you need to choose whether to move school or go along with the catholic teachings.

Millipedewithherfeetup · 22/06/2014 10:21

Totally agree with the other posters here, do not send your children to a faith school, if that faith disgusts you, simple no brainier.

APlaceInTheSummer · 22/06/2014 10:22

Of course your dd will feel left out -it's a Catholic school! Most (if not all) of her classmates will make their Communion and a percentage of class time will be devoted to preparation.

Not only that, but if you are so disgusted by the Church and so vocal against it then your dd will be receiving very mixed messages. If you are that against the Catholic Church then it would probably be best to find another school.

Meirasa · 22/06/2014 10:22

If you send your child to a Catholic school you are signing up for your child to attend religious education classes and take part in the religious observances within the school community. You made that choice. You also may have taken a place from another family who may have been religious and deprived them of a Catholic education.

IMHO a lot of what happened within the church was years ago and while horrific and something I personally detest I believe that only the best of them remain today- after all who would honestly want to still be a priest or a nun now unless truly devoted when joe public now classes you all as pedophiles and child abusers? Was it wrong, yes, but it's not new news it's been in the press for the last 15 years and you would have known about it before you chose your childs school.

If you withdraw your child from RE, you must be aware that a) you may be asked to attend another school and b) if it is allowed which I doubt it will be, you will mark your child out as different to the other children and it may cause social issues for them.

If you don't believe in the Catholic faith and have difficulties with the Church send your child to non religious school.

Branleuse · 22/06/2014 10:23

the only local school is a faith school?

pisses me off that this even happens

Squeegle · 22/06/2014 10:23

You either think there is some virtue in Catholicism, (good educational principles perhaps?), or you don't. Make your mind up. Don't punish your child by sending her to a school and then not allowing her to take part fully as you don't approve of what went on at certain institutions.

I find your attitude really selfish actually, you want the good bits but want to be free to be disgusted!

Everyone is disgusted- and many within the church are disgusted and trying to expose the scandalous behaviour that went on. But if you are so disgusted you don't want anything to do with the church, why are you sending your daughter there?

brokenhearted55a · 22/06/2014 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pennastucky · 22/06/2014 10:25

As others have said, if you feel that strongly about these issues, dont sign your children up to a Catholic education!

We also baptised our kids because it was 'what you did' (Catholic families on both my and DH's side), although DH is only very vaguely Christian (believes in God, doesnt practice) and I am an atheist.

It was a mistake. As soon as I realised what the commitment was going to mean, I realised that. I think the penny finally dropped when our (creepy) priest started banging on about the evils of abortion in one of his sermons. I suddenly thought 'why on earth am I here? I am completely opposed to everything you stand for!'

We left the church and sent our children to a non-religious school. Sounds like you should do the same.

ILoveCoreyHaim · 22/06/2014 10:27

I'm not Catholic and I am christened COE. My DCs are not christened and I wouldn't dream of sending them to a Catholic school. Leave and give the place to a Catholic family who probably have a kid stuck in a non religious school.

JerseySpud · 22/06/2014 10:29

This annoys me. We are not religious in the slightest so why would we send out DD's to a catholic school. I'm sure you will find another school that fits in with your beliefs without taking up a place that an actual catholic child could use without the parents feeling like hypocrites that they are.

Migsy1 · 22/06/2014 10:30

Go and tell the school. Also, can you make a video of the conversation and post it on here? I'm sure it will be very entertaining interesting.

needaholidaynow · 22/06/2014 10:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mithuseretrod · 22/06/2014 10:34

I think people are forced to be hypocritical by the current system in Ireland. Yes there are non catholic schools but they'd be about 15% of what exists currently.

If you're in the UK though, send her to a non-faith school. If you're in Ireland I forgive you for your hypocrisy!

My children are irish and we haven't a communion between us and my children have never felt left out. They obviously couldn't care less because caring comes from the parents.

Swipe left for the next trending thread