to not let dd make her communion?

[creamandsugar]

Dd has been accepted into the local primary school, very good reputation etc. It is a Catholic school. Our dc have all been baptised really just to please elderly gps as dh and I aren't religious and back then we didn't mind either way. Looking back I wish now we never did as I am so disgusted at everything to do with the priests and nuns that has come to light recently.
I am thinking of telling the school that our dd will not be doing religion.
I am afraid dd will feel left out if she doesn't make her communion.
Aibu?

My DD does to a catholic school, every communion class has a few children who don't make their communion, it's not that unusual.
We're still on the fence about weather DD will make hers or not.

It's bonkers (putting it politely) that parents should be forced to send their child to a Catholic school because the nearest non-denominational school is an hour's drive away.

As for people calling the OP "hypocritical", I dare say she pays her taxes like everyone else, and so funds the system of Catholic education regardless of whether she wants to or not. Perhaps the real hypocrites are those who go round preaching humility and tolerance but demand that the rest of us stump up for their children to be indoctrinated in their religion of choice.

OP, I assume your DD is only four years old? I think it's going to be tough, as even if she doesn't do first communion, then she will be exposed to a good deal of religion the rest of the time. All you can do is talk to her at home about what you and DH believe, explain there are lots of different religions, people believe in lots of gods and no gods and let her make her own mind up when the time comes. It can be hard on a child to be the odd one out, and perhaps if you tell her she can't do it, she will be resentful.

I was raised without religion in Ireland, but went to a convent school as there was no non-religious alternative.

I did my first communion as we spend most of First Class preparing for it and my mother felt it would be cruel to a 6 year old to say I had to miss out on the parties and dress. And the dress was a huge thing for me, as a class we spent months and months talking about it. God didn't get a look in.

Our local primary school was CE and my dd attended, as did all the local kids although very few parents were churchgoers. when she came home and discussed the religious bits daily brainwashing propaganda I just used to chip in with what people with other faiths and none thought about that subject as well, so she knew there were other opinions out there that people choose to believe, rather than it being 'The Only Truth.

You can't have your cake and eat it! If your that disgusted find another school that is non faith.

Is there a particular incident relating to the school/parish you are referring to? If not then I think YABU as everyone has known about the behaviour of some priests. But actually I think you were BU to baptise your DC for their GP benefit in the first place

Aeroflot there aren't any other schools!

Im sorry I was harsh before if you are in a difficult positio n and the school is tbe only option then you will need to think of what you want to do, I still think if you go to a faith school then they take part in the faith side of it, especially if the dc have been baptise d

Oh right sorry. I think the LEA should find another school fir op dd and pay for transport, as there are no suitable schools nearby.

I think the LEA should find another school fir op dd and pay for transport, as there are no suitable schools nearby.

It doesn't work like that in Ireland.

OP a close friend of mine has 2 children who are in local (Catholic) school in Ireland. They were baptised, I think, but not religious apart from that. My friend just gently reiterated always that some children went to Mass and made their communion, and that was fine, but they wouldn't be doing that. Both children accepted this without any difficulty, as it was the norm that had been reinforced since they started school.

In that case don't let her make her first communion! What do Muslim, Jewish or Hindu chikdren do! They cannot be expected to take communion!

I agree with the others. if you are so against what people have done. people. not the church. but human beings with bad intentions. then remove her.

dont be two faced. however sometimes as parents our beliefs have to be sat to the side to appease the needs of the child.

im salvation army. I sent my.child to a catholic school and never once had the thoughts you are dwelling on.

people did those acts. alot have been imprisoned and yes its taken years to come out. but do you also refuse to watch the bbc??

do you tar all religions with the same brush. are all muslims evils for the actions of a few.

are all who carried protestants evil for the burning down of cathedrals following the reformation??

are all english who took the land away from the scots and cleared the highlands leaving women and children to starve and wiping out families to blame.

no. people did that.

I sent my child to a catholic school. she flits very easily between Catholicism and Army ways. im 4th generation army.

she didnt have communion but was made a junior soldier at the same time. she was able to tell her classmates all about it and didnt feel left out.

you need to step back and breathe.

If that school is the only local option, you're a bit stuck. Not being part of a faith, but having respect for it is one thing but needing to actively avoid first communion is another.

Quite seriously, consider moving if you can: we did.

First Communion takes weeks of preparation at the church, for child and parents, its not something they automatically do at school. If you aren't Catholic then no it is not unreasonable for your DD not to do first communion, it would however be unreasonable to let her do it to fit in.

Its not like opting out of RE or hymn practice which are a part of school life, it is a sacrament, same as Baptism, reconciliation, confirmation, marriage, ordination and last rites, which absolutely should be opted out of if you don't 100% believe in it.

Yabvu

Non roman catholics are wothdrawn from mass etc but the op dd has been baptised she might be expected to do her comunion

I fear if you are worrying about this now - and it is a couple of years hence iirc - 7 years at a Catholic school could prove very frustrating and awkward. There will be plenty of other opportunities for her to feel left out or you to bite your tongue at in the meantime.

I'm amazed that anyone could be so recently disgusted that they put the child in the school and are only having reservations now.

Unless the child is 20, in which case they're probably able to choose for themselves.

It has only just occurred to you that the Catholic Church has provided a haven for sadists, bullies and child abusers? Where have you been for the past 30 years?

OP is in Ireland, where such luxuries as parental choice don't exist to the same extent.

Perhaps not, but parents can (and do) set up their own schools. Educate Together would help with it.

Gosh, the intolerance on this thread! I also had to send my dd to a Catholic school because the alternative was a Protestant school, which is no alternative at all.

I let my dd do first communion, but felt it was first hypocrisy actually. Another friend of mine didn't let any of her children to do first communion and no problem at all, but she and her children are all super confident people.

All the stories came out about the priests and nuns in the ninties, it was huge scandal and you must be the only person in the country not to have heard it before now.

It's not mandatory for your child to make their communion, do whatever suits you.

OP, it's absolute fucking crap that you don't have a viable alternative school.

I left the church when I was around 13, so was never confirmed. For a while I thought I could be sort-of Catholic--like just take the good parts. I even toyed with the idea of being confirmed as an adult, but I've decided that I just can't [insert long boring personal reasons].

I don't get on with these smorgasbord approaches to religion, in which people just sort of take what they please and leave the rest. In order for it to be really meaningful, you have to go whole hog. Meaning that you really have to go and receive the communion absolutely believing that you're taking in the body of Christ and all the rest of it. Otherwise, stay out of it.

So I admire you for your integrity, and I think your daughter will learn more from your thoughtful approach than she would from participating in empty [for her] ceremonies with her friends.

And don't worry about depriving her of religion. She can convert to Catholicism as an adult if she wants.