to not let dd make her communion?

[creamandsugar]

Dd has been accepted into the local primary school, very good reputation etc. It is a Catholic school. Our dc have all been baptised really just to please elderly gps as dh and I aren't religious and back then we didn't mind either way. Looking back I wish now we never did as I am so disgusted at everything to do with the priests and nuns that has come to light recently.
I am thinking of telling the school that our dd will not be doing religion.
I am afraid dd will feel left out if she doesn't make her communion.
Aibu?

My ds' attend a local catholic school, we are not Catholic but it was one 3 local schools I put on our form and the school I got, which is fine. This year (year 3) ds1's friends have been doing their communion, but I would say there was less than half of his year that did it so your dd would not feel left out. We went to a Holy Communion of one of his friends recently.

We are in Ireland, too. Not catholics but the four local schools are. I have to work so don't have the option of traipsing miles across the city to the nearest non demoninational school. DD didn't make her communion but did participate on the day. The school had no problem with this. Until some schools opt out of the Catholic ethos and become educate together or something similar, this is the best option for us.

Noodle I know, I'm very much lapsed so I can see how for someone who doesn't believe its just a mass with a pretty dress and a party but he gets ridiculously worked up about it.

creamandsugar I think letting her choose is a good plan, that's what I did with DS and will do with DD, DS did his, I doubt DD will.

Do you live in Ireland? We have done the only thing that is available to us locally and that is to contact Educate Together and the Dep of Education.

I do live in Ireland. I used to do babysitting for a couple who were the primary movers in setting up the local educate together here while they were at the meetings. It's a lot of work, obviously, but it's not impossible for people to do if it's something they feel strongly about. In general, though, I just feel like there's no point in wondering why someone else isn't doing it.

You must be ancient Apocalypse.

Do what suits you OP. you didn't ask or set up the system which forces you into this position bt you pay for it. So many folk born into religions that don't have a choice about it, lots of Catholics who don't give a crap. For some reason non Catholics seem to get worked up about the catholic religion and keeping it real than many Catholics actually do.

Yet another demonstration of why schools and religion should be kept far apart. All of them. Including private schools. If there were only secular schools in the area, this would not be a problem, and no-one would have to make these crazy choices. The daughter would already have many friends of other religions and none, and she would be able to grow up as a citizen who can appreciate people for the content of their character, regardless of which statue they have on the wall.

You must be ancient Apocalypse.

If this is intended as an insult, it's wasted on me because I have no idea what you mean.

Yes, I share your POV Bambambini - I only give the system as much respect as it deserves, and am more interested in what will be best for my family (and other families too, but generally any child is equally deserving of a place at any school as any other, with the exception of children with statements or looked after children, who quite rightly go to the top of any admissions system - one nice thing about living in a fairly civilised country)

And as a lot of Catholics were forced into a religion they didn't necessary choose and sent to catholic shools again they usually had little choice about - I can't get that worked up like many you see on Mn about them using the system to their advantage. People seem to have a view that just because you come under the label "catholic" or send your kids to catholic schools then you are some devout religious person who your religion means so much to. Bollocks.

Agree they should take religion out of schooling and any influence in government etc. Religion has had enough say.

Oops, just made basically the same point as last night - just in case anyone missed it!

I don't see that it's incompatible to be disgusted by some aspects of the Catholic religion (which frankly ARE disgusting - the awful crimes perpetrated by various priests/nuns over the year) and still take part in other aspects of the religion (like First Communion). If everyone was nodding dogs, tugging forelocks and saying everything the Church did was right, how will it ever change?

I was born & raised Catholic, am very much lapsed (but can't lower case that 'C'!) I can't reconcile its teachings about gay people, women or reproductive rights with my own beliefs but I am entertaining the thought of sending our kids (currently preg with first) to Catholic schools - partly self-interest, I admit, as our local state primary isn't great, but also because the schools I went to are not far away, I have very happy memories of my time there, did well and made great friends. DH is agnostic/vaguely Presbytarian and is happy to go along with the religious bit to get what he sees as a good education. If I did I'd be pretty clear with my kids about what aspects of the religion I disagreed with. That said, there were some great bits about my Catholic education - the historical aspect is ibteresting and the emphasis on social justice (pity some parts of the Church don't focus on this bit more).

Sorry but you have no business sending your child to a Catholic school if those are your thoughts and beliefs.

This is why I believe faith schools should be fee-paying. Ridiculous to send your child to a faith school when you despise that faith.

I have no faith, but my child did so I allowed her to exercise that.

who, me or the OP? I think you'll find that most people who send their kids to Catholic schools don't buy into a lot of its teachings, for example around gay people, contraception etc. My own devout mother who is a daily communicant doesn't. Did she have no business sending us to Catholic schools?

OP doesn't really have much choice as she lives in Ireland where most school are Catholic schools and her nearest alternative too far away. I think OP is in a more difficult position than families from other religions or none. They can just opt out of first communion and no questions asked. For OP, who is nominally a Catholic, it is more awkward and perhaps there will be pressure put on. However, if there are several other children who will not be doing first communion, there seems no reason why she should feel left out.

You don't have to be catholic to go to a catholic school. You don't have to buy into the whole ethos and "rules" of Catholicism - just like most Catholics don't.

In fact the more non Catholics sending their kids to catholic schools the better. Same with COE etc.

Celticchick10 In many parts of Ireland there is no alternative to a Catholic school and non-faith schools are a very recent creation and few and far between. If you had read the thread you would have learnt that

If you feel this strongly I really think you have to put her into a new school. I've only skimmed the full thread,did the OP say why she chose this school.

However,top play devils advocate for a minute i'm not catholic but went to a catholic primary school;there were only 2 primary schools where I grew up and the catholic one was round the corner and the non-denominational was at the other end of town. When my class mates took holy communion etc (back when they did it about age 8) I was one of 4 that year that didn't do it. We didn't feel left out at all,we were included in the celebrations by (if I remember correctly) doing a reading during the service, taking the bread and wine to the priest for him to prepare, small things like that. I don't think your kids would feel totaly left out,in fact I'm sure they would be included somehow, but you clearly have deeper issues here and completely withdrawing them from all religious education is unreasonable given you chose to send them to that school.

Ah ok,you're in ireland (did say I had only skimmed it)

My dd goes to catholic school and I'm worried about her feeling left out if she makes her communion at a different church!