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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think being dropped off at a bus stop with a sleeping child is mean

165 replies

calmseeker · 21/06/2014 20:51

Sometimes I have been to various places with my friend in and around the city. She lives about 10 minutes in a car (from me). I don't have a car and appreciate the offer to go somewhere together. Generally I buy her a coffee or something as a token of thanks.
She has two children both slightly older than my daughter who is 3. Frequently on the way back she will say 'I will drop you off at the bus stop'. On a few occasions my child has actually been asleep and a few times it has been raining heavily. I don't expect perfection from my friends but am infuriated by this. She is a fairly fiery person so I have not said anything directly. Obviously there are things about her I like a lot. But I am at the point now where I just can hardly be bothered.

OP posts:
nooka · 22/06/2014 18:11

Yes what a bitch, giving an unsatisfactory lift. Really???

ModernToss · 22/06/2014 18:30

YANBU.

Some awful, awful attitudes here.

KenAdams · 22/06/2014 18:59

I wouldn't leave you at the bus stop OP, but what do you do about car seats? Does she just keep yours until the next time?

Aeroflotgirl · 22/06/2014 19:01

I guess ken the same as in a taxi, a one off lift is fine without a car seat

PrincessBabyCat · 22/06/2014 19:04

We've gone 30 minutes out of the way to pick a friend up and then drop them off again. I have another friend that would hear nothing of the sort if I asked her to drop me off at a bus. If they're a friend they shouldn't mind an extra 10 minutes as long as you pitch in for gas.

fluffyraggies · 22/06/2014 19:16

If the OP lives in an awkward place - one side of a busy duel carriage way, one side of a busy one way system - then it's possibly easier to see how half a mile away as the crow flies could turn into a right PITA at rush hour for eg. and mean it's reasonable to drop her at a bus stop.

However, if it's half a mile/10 mins on normal residential streets then i think it's a bit stingey to be dropping someone out at a bus stop. The OP is at quite a disadvantage without a car and with a sleepy 3 year old at the end of a day out. Why on earth wouldnt you drop your mate back home? God, you're out in the car already. Driving. Isn't doing nice stuff for each other what friends do?

Silverdaisy · 22/06/2014 20:25

From everything you have said, I can't see a problem with taking you to the front door.

However, there must be something that is irking your friend? Why else would someone make a statement by dropping you off at a bus stop.

Not saying you are like this, but people without cars can often be grabby about right to a lift. I've heard from family " it's okay for you, you have a car". Well it doesn't come cheap either.

They seem to think owning a car is some special gift that is given to a select few.

NoodleOodle · 22/06/2014 20:38

I think YABU, it is nice of your friend to give you a lift to the bus stop. Surely if she didn't give you a lift there you would have to walk in the rain with your sleeping child?

NoodleOodle · 22/06/2014 20:42

The OP is at quite a disadvantage without a car and with a sleepy 3 year old at the end of a day out.

It's not fair to say that the OP is at a disadvantage, when the reality is that the OP is at point neutral (where we all start out, with just our own steam, public transport, or taxis to travel) whereas the friend has worked for an advantage in life, being able to drive, which doesn't come cheap: lessons, tests, price of car, insurance, servicing, tax, break down cover, and petrol.

eddielizzard · 22/06/2014 20:48

sounds to me like your friend is feeling a bit obliged.

if i were you i would stop doing her favours and stop the lifts. then see where you are with the friendship.

hellskitty · 22/06/2014 20:50

I don't think the friendssees it as doing a favour, she probably just thinks it's good manners to take her as far as she is going, but has no intention of becoming a taxi driver.

fledermaus · 22/06/2014 21:26

Weird for her to offer a lift home and then drop you at a bus stop.

Even weirder that you need a bus when it's only a 10 minute walk though?

BetterTogether75 · 22/06/2014 21:52

I couldn't be arsed with someone who behaved in such a petty and inconsiderate way. Yes, I know driving is expensive (one of the reasons I don't do it myself), but really, begrudging a short journey to a friend and her young child, in bad weather, when you've just been socialising together? Hmm

I too suspect that 'fiery' is a synonym for 'bitch'!

fluffyraggies · 22/06/2014 22:05

When i say disadvantaged i meant compared to her friend in the car at that moment. There at the end of an outing together, chatting together, you driving your nice warm car, she without that luxury for whatever reason, enjoying your hospitality.

I couldn't have a friend in the car with me with a sleepy child and think to myself ''you know what, on balance i have worked hard for my car - she owes me nothing - i'm going to drop her at the bloody bus stop!''

It just doesn't compute.

Chocovore · 22/06/2014 22:10

What does she do with your car seat?

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