To get annoyed when parents spell their kids name wrong

[HelloSteve]

...and then they get annoyed when people constantly spell their names "wrong" (aka the right way)? Or buy personalised items with their names spelt their way?

Not really a big deal I know, but I what do you expect when you give your child a name spelled in a way to be yoo-niq?

Over the past couple of weeks I've heard of a Emma-Leigh, a Sophy and a Jordyn. I can't help thinking 'poor kids they're going to have to go through their whole lives having to correct people'. It seems people don't think about that though.

I know a woman who has two grown up daughters called Jemma (I assume they meant for that to be Gemma) and a Hollie (again, I assume Holly) and she always gets annoyed when people don't ask and just assume they're spelt Gemma and Holly, but I don't know why. She should have expected that/be used to that now? I know she would constantly get irritated when the kids were at school and received Christmas cards/party invites with their names spelt wrong but honestly I have little sympathy. What was she expecting when she spelt her kids names wrong?

Your thoughts?

There's no such thing as a middle class name. Tarquin and Crispin and the like can be used by anybody.

In one of the Jilly Cooper books somebody changes their name from Daisy to Daysee so it shows up better in the television credits.

Yes. But some names are more acceptable to the middle classes than others. Those who choose to use names not acceptable to the middle classes are judged as 'lesser'. But there's nothing actually inferior about calling your child Kallum rather than Crispin.

It says something about the parent, not necessarily inferior or superior.

I'm probably better educated than you are

Ah ah ha ha. This ought to have a name, similar to godwin's law (notice the deliberate rejection of upper-case letters?)

I would assume Samual was pronounced differently than Samuel.

Samual's mum wasn't making a statement other than she wanted him to be "different".

Just so I'm clear on the "rules" in this discussion - to say that someone wanted to make a statement of difference is okay, but to make analysis into Othering would demonstrate an education that is... lacking?

Context is all, yank, a poster had advised me to educate myself. I don't need the advice or the education, I've had plenty already.

I don't need the advice or the education, I've had plenty already.

Interesting... rideronthestorm, how did you make this decision?

My bugbear is the assumption that a name makes a child unique. Every child is unique and not because of their name.

Having a very unusual/odd name can be a right pain in th area though and can have an effect on you.

I was reading this thread with interest, and was going to skip down the page to write my response but realise brd had done it for me

riders, you keep going back to the white middle class Samual/Samuel that you know as if that somehow throws brd's argument out of the window. I doubt brd knows yours Samual and is speaking on behalf of the white middle classes who choose alternative spellings. What brd says about history and oppression is completely relevant on this thread as people poking fun at names do not stop at white middle class children called Samual, Michal, or Ozkar. In fact, they usually start with the Kaidens, Taneeshas and D'marios. (I also wonder why you assume that you're more educated than brd, or Manatee assumes that people have 2:2s, but that's another issue. I don't actually care for your responses to that part, but I think it's worth pointing out all the same.)

As for being bullied because of your name, the only place I have ever seen that happen is on MN. And I say that as someone with a yooneek and forrin name! Perhaps it's because I know few white middle-class people in RL that I've never been victimised in this way...

I'm Sara & have had to explain "Sarah-without-an-H" all my life. Very close friends always get it right. Other friends almost invariably put the H on, which really irritates me.

One name that drives me nuts is Aaron - "Air-run" I assume, like in the bible, but now it is now pronounced "Arrun". Why not spell it "Arrun" then?

Witch, sorry I'm probably being dim, but are you a Sair-a or a Sah-ra (like Zara but with an 's' sound)?

The first I would spell Sarah and the second Sara, unless I was told differently. Obviously then I wouldn't have an excuse to get it wrong!

How irritating Witch Though you can't blame them. Sarah, pronounced Sair-a is by far the most popular spelling. Sarah is one of those timeless names, which hasn't moved out of the top 100 popular names in over a century.

I've never been asked if my name is spelt with an 'h'

"lackaDAISY -is your DH Finlay's bio dad? If so, why would you give your child a name his father could not pronounce?"

Erm, yes he is. And he is English, not outer Mongolian, so prounouncing Finlay isn't such a strangle on his native tongue . And my children are half Scottish but live in England, so we ( yes, DH and I) thought a nod to their Scottish roots would be the done thing, not that it's anyone's business. Yikes, never thought I should have to call him a name that can only be pronounced in the local dialect, lest anyone not born North of the border could pronounce it

Polka I'm Saira not Saara. Most people pronounce it correctly (having seen it written) but spell it wrongly1

LackaDAISY you previously said "We live in England. His teachers spell it Finley and pronounce it Fin-Lee, which makes my fucking teeth itch. DH has, under duress, pronounced it Fin-Lee. No, No, No, No No (he won't make that mistake again!). I don't care if DH's delicate English tongue can't get round it. His name is pronounced Fin-Lay."

I read that as your husband doesn't pronounce the name as you'd like it to be. If so, why choose that name?

Though I don't think I'd be able to hear the difference - they sound the same to me.

I don't understand the Sara/Sarah thing. I thought they were pronounced differently, but all the Sara's I've met pronounce it like Sarah

Conversely I know three people called Sara. All with the Saah-ra pronunciation. I'd always check the preferred pronunciation with this name.

I'd pronounce and spell it wrongly then (depending on whether I read/heard it without asking first) because I know them as two different names.

I suppose the important thing is to remember after you'd corrected me though!

Not that it any of your business VegHaggis (and not sure why you are picking on me specifically given the hundreds of other posts on this thread ), but I am Scottish and wanted my children to have Scottish, familial names, especially as they are growing up elsewhere.

And far better named after uncle Finlay than grandpa Rhuraidh, no?

which would, if pronounced Rory, fuck me off entirely rather then make my teeth itch mildly.

and DH is perfectly capable of pronouncing it Finlay; he is English, not Outer Mongolian. Just sometimes he doesn't which is irritating, after all he did have a say in choosing the name.

(apols to anyone from Outer Mongolia, especially if pronouncing Finlay is a piece of cake to you)

Haha, my childs name is on the list given around page 8 of names with 'only one spelling'...but doesn't have the spelling listed. Because the variation we use is Welsh. She is Eirys, in welsh it can be pronounced sort of like ay-ris(which is what they call her at her welsh school) but as her father and some of my family are english most people say it as Iris. I'm sure there are people who think i just changed the spelling to be 'different' but it doesn't bother me. She however is baffled when i spell her name at the hospital etc as she doesn't realise there is a more common way of spelling it. I may have comdemned her to a life time of spelling her name, but as someone called Emily who has had a billion different ways i think that happens to a lot of people.
Oh and it doesn't really bother me if people mis-spell it..unless those people are her family who after 7 years REALLY should know better.