To be horrified by the Card Factory

[Kidsinamerica123]

Browsing and came across this card. For those who can't see it - it's one of those 'old photo with a (supposedly) witty caption' 2 men are pictured standing by a fence with a caption that reads "Having popped out for a fag, Nigel was delighted when one turned up immediately."

Absolutely disgusted by this I called the Card Factory's head office straight away (I demanded the number in the shop), only to be informed "Head office only deal with complaints made in writing - there's nothing I can do for you now!"

AIBU to assume the good-readers of Mumsnet can help them address their misguided, revolting homophobic humour TODAY without waiting for letters to arrive?

Nomama - no, I meant that the OP was spectacularly goady

Goady - or prompting a heated debate? I think it's been quite an interesting thread, and certainly a lot milder that some of the bunfights on here

Ah, so will this thread stay or go...

I agree SirChenjin, whatever the intentions of the OP it has sparked an interesting debate.

PetShopGirl, always a good resolution if you can't agree.

I wonder if I did indeed just get 'lucky' in having been brought up with older generational people on both sides of my family who were out (post law change in the 70s) and verbal about it.

I have never known a family life without gay men and women in it. That may have influenced me as I grew my own non family social life. I have always had gay friends of both genders (I would clearly say all 3 genders, but am not 100% certain that would be OK...). I married a man with gay family members, uncle and sister. So he too has always had gay family and friends.

I will put my hands up, I will have been influenced by gay men who are now in their 70s and lived their younger lives as illegal human beings. So they may well have 'gallows' humour that we, as a family, have normalised.

But SILs 'gay scene' friends are no different. By that I mean gay party animals, professional entertainers etc. She has a flamboyant circle of friends. So maybe that too is not normal in a wider sense.

I don't know. I just know that few of the people I know, share my life with, would be quite as precious about the term 'fag' as some posters here have been.

My favourite description for a gay man is 'vagina decliner'.

Descriptive yet civilised and polite.

I might have to buy one for my friend Nigel, who just happens to be gay. We'd have a good laugh about it.

Oh I love Vagina Decliner!

YABU. I have many gay friends and some of them have this card proudly displayed on their notice boards. They think its funny. Sorry OP.

I don't have any gay friends :(

What is a 'notice board'? Is it a gay person thing? I want a notice board that I can display random stuff on.

Notice boards are definitely not restricted to the gays - some of my non-gay friends have them too, and my parents used to have a massive one made of cork tiles . You pin important stuff on them - and then duly forget it's there. Brilliant invention!

Thanks op this cheered me up, first time I have laughed all week

You didn't find it did you?www.pinknews.co.uk/2013/05/24/uk-card-factory-accused-of-homophobia-for-selling-offensive-fag-birthday-card/

You didn't find it did you?www.pinknews.co.uk/2013/05/24/uk-card-factory-accused-of-homophobia-for-selling-offensive-fag-birthday-card/

that's not the same photo though.

Slightly different but I got a absolute pasting on here for objecting to this:
(picture may not work, never done it before)

Moonpig card

Again, it's subjective humour. I don't think it's funny, but that's just my opinion - which is no more or less valid than anyone else's.

Well can I just say that if you have actually had someone say that phrase to you it is fuckingwell not funny. It is fuckingwell terrifying beyond description.

I struggle to think of a scenario where someone would say "bitches love cock" that wasn't related to porn or sexual assault/harrassment etc.
Are there women out there who think it's funny? Yes, obviously including the majority of the female dominated MN but why?????

As someone who is neither gay nor a man, it would be easy for me to sit here and say that my best friend James is gay and would laugh. Yet, people are sharing traumatic experiences of how this word was used to abuse and intimidate but still are told that everyone has a different sense of humour. Nice!

Ages ago, and under a different name, I argued passionately about why I disliked Spurs fans chanting "yid army". I had a lot of people saying that their cousin was Jewish and didn't mind. Yet, I was the child who had rocks thrown at them and called a "xxxxxx yid" for being born to a Jewish mother. Why do our experiences not matter?! By brushing it off as humour, you are brushing off the real issues.

It may (or may not) have been an interesting debate but the whole point of this post was to goad people - hence the one-time poster, now deregged. It was evidently posted to be offensive and to stir up/coax out homophobic views. As such, this is a goady post which is why I reported it.

People find all kinds of things funny, and one element of humour is the fact that it is often subversive. But it doesn't mean that something that some people might funny isn't also offensive.

As someone who is neither gay nor a man

One of those things you never thought you would need to write down....