MIL lives in a different town, day-trippable from us. DD is 2 months old. DH would like me to have MIL here one day a week, while he is a work, so that she can develop a relationship with DD and with me. I am more comfortable with seeing her about once every month, and prefer DH to be here too. I'm quite a private person, am enjoying my maternity leave with DD, and don't particularly want to spend one day out of seven with any one person, let alone DH's mother. No particular bad feeling between us, but she does irritate me (and I her, I am sure) and I find her quite intrusive. Currently see her about once a fortnight, which I'm happy to do for DH but personally find that quite a lot of contact. She and DH also have usually daily contact by phone. FWIW, we see my family about once a month also.
DH wants her to be here with me and DD once a week, and thinks I should just have her over to tag along with whatever I happen to be doing that day. His grandparents saw him twice a week growing up. My view is that:
a) His GPs were his mother's parents, not in laws, and it's a different matter to ask me to spend time with my MIL on my own every week.
b) Regardless, just because that worked for his family when he was little, that does not mean it is normal.
c) Regardless of how normal it may be, if I am uncomfortable with spending so much time with someone, I shouldn't have to, even if that means I am more anti-social than your average person.
d) DD can grow up with a perfectly good and loving relationship with her grandmother without seeing her every week.
e) DH's mother should visit when he is here to see her. I wouldn't ask him to spend time with my mother without me!
I'm fed up with arguing about this with DH. So, AIBU or is DH BU for pressurising me?