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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think was a a bit wrong.

264 replies

Canthisonebeused · 16/06/2014 09:35

Not sure why but this doesn't sit right with me, what are others thoughts. It's not a big deal but did bother me a bit.

7 and 8 year old girls doing handstands and cartwheels in the playground at school. Boys being silly laughing at their pants and did not die down after being told not to by playground staff. Therefore girls are sent in to put PE shorts on under their dresses.

I just think they are little girls FFS who care if their pants are showing and the boys should have been delt with. I just don't think it's a good message to sent to girls.

OP posts:
Canthisonebeused · 16/06/2014 09:36

Or the right message to boys either.

OP posts:
Canthisonebeused · 16/06/2014 09:38

Sorry massive typos in title

OP posts:
WeddedBliss · 16/06/2014 09:40

Yabu.

If an adult was doing handstands in the part with a dress on and flashing her knickers, pretty much everyone would think it was inappropriate.

IMO you need to teach dc gradually. Otherwise, what would happen...let dc continue to flash their pants until one day aged 14 they're told out of the blue they can't do it anymore.

I don't see what harm telling the girls to put on shorts will do.

Would also like to know how you would like the boys 'dealt with'.

SixImpossible · 16/06/2014 09:41

Elsewhere on MN you will find threads where posters object to women wearing leggings as trousers, and the leggings are so thin that the stripes on their knickers show through.

Underwear is not supposed to be on display while being worn. It's a social convention that applies to both genders.

Dresses were never designed to be worn by active people.

Of course the boys should be taught respectful behaviour, but, equally, the girls should not be restricted in their movements. So it makes sense for them to wear shorts.

Xcountry · 16/06/2014 09:42

But the schools hands are tied by namby pamby rules and self righteous parents of the girls would probably argue that the boys should have been sent in and the parents of the boys would argue that the girls shouldn't be allowed to show their pants. Its a no win situation for anyone.

Canthisonebeused · 16/06/2014 09:44

I think the boys should have been dealt with a little firmer to ensure they left the girls be nothing drastic.

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Bifauxnen · 16/06/2014 09:47

when I was at school girls weren't allowed to wear trousers or shorts under their skirts. Consequently they generally stopped being active. The girls should be wearing things that allows for proper movement and activity. The boys should be told not to laugh at/mock. (as should all kids)

Bifauxnen · 16/06/2014 09:47

*others. missed a word.

Canthisonebeused · 16/06/2014 09:47

Grown women in the park doing handstands showing pants wouldn't particularly be inappropriate either would it? It's not something you see everyday, the allure of cartwheels tend to dwindle out by the teens, other than maybe adults joint in with the kids, again no big deal if adults pants are flashed I don't think.

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LineRunner · 16/06/2014 09:48

We used to tuck our dress hems into our knickers to make ad hoc pantaloon things. Then no-one cared, everyone was happy.

Singlesuzie · 16/06/2014 09:48

Pants on your arse get covered. We all groan about those men who wear jeans that sit round their knees, women who wear leggings that are too thin, visible thongs over the waistband. The girls need to learn that showing your knickers isnt acceptable. The boys need to learn not to take the piss.

petitemarionette · 16/06/2014 09:51

I can see why you feel that way. First the staff try to deal with the boys' behaviour and, when they can't, they get the girls to change how they're dressed. Whether or not you think 7/8 year old girls showing their knickers while playing is appropriate or not, the staff were sending the wrong message by handling the situation this way.

MoominAndMiniMoom · 16/06/2014 09:51

boys should've been dealt with for laughing at them.
in many schools, what are girls meant to do? they're not allowed to wear shorts, so their options are walking sedately in dresses or overheating in trousers. the obvious answer is rather than making them put PE shorts on, let girls wear uniform shorts or skorts. surely by telling the girls to change, it reinforces that if they don't want males to look at them, the onus is on them to change... and at the same time, if you tell the boys not to look and laugh, it makes it some kind of forbidden fruit kind of thing, kids push barriers and test the limits and don't have as much control as grown men so it's hard top make a comparison with adults in a similar situation.

fence = sat on.

Frusso · 16/06/2014 09:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MasqueradeWaltzer · 16/06/2014 09:56

This is why the mini Boden skorts are always the first thing to sell out in the summer. I haven't been able to get my hands on one in YEARS.

OwlCapone · 16/06/2014 09:57

I agree with you, OP. The boys should have been sent inside to calm down.

It's not acceptable to laugh at someone and then that person being the one who has to change. Especially when they are doing nothing wrong.

CatsCantTwerk · 16/06/2014 09:57

It is never acceptable to flash your pants. YABU.

OwlCapone · 16/06/2014 09:59

protect their modesty

What needs protecting? They are small girls.

The boys need their manners sorted out.

And I speak as a parent of boys and a girl.

OwlCapone · 16/06/2014 10:00

I wonder how on earth we survived in the 70s and 80s doing handstands and cartwheels with no thought to covering our pants. We must all be morally bankrupt.

ClockWatchingLady · 16/06/2014 10:02

The girls need to learn that showing your knickers isnt acceptable.

Really?? At 7?

I'm with you, OP.

Flexibilityiskey · 16/06/2014 10:03

I think the issue is the staff trying, and seemingly failing to deal with the boys, then making the girls put on shorts. It sends a message, that, "We can't control the boys so you need to behave in a way that they deem appropriate"

MargotLovedTom · 16/06/2014 10:06

Totally agree with OwlCapone. They are girls doing handstands at playtime ffs, not walking around a busy town centre lifting their skirts and showing their knickers to anyone who'll look.

The boys should've been sent in if they weren't able to play in a communal yard without hassling another group of children.

MargotLovedTom · 16/06/2014 10:07

Totally agree Flexibility

Canthisonebeused · 16/06/2014 10:07

Many sports wear, tennis dresses, running pants, swim costumes, gym leotards etc are often no fuller than many 8 year olds pants. You don't see many men sniggering and laughing at serena Williams and c/o and there are no dignity issues surrounds sports wear.

I accept boys laughing at girls pants is no major crime of the century, but the point I feel is that it is in fact the boys behaviour that needed attention in this instance.

There isn't much to cover up in terms of dignity for an 8 year old that pants and a dress aren't capable of doing alone even with hand stands, cartwheels and climbing.

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FarelyKnuts · 16/06/2014 10:08

Why is "flashing" their pants an issue in the first place? Their bums are covered (which is the protecting their "modesty" bit sorted). How does one inch extra material make a pair of shorts magically have this modesty covering power?

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