To not get the "I have loads of kids so I can claim benefits and have an easy life"idea

[Lancashiregal10]

Taking to my neighbour today who has five kids. Her and her husband claim benefits.
We live in a part council estate/ part privately owned
Today and many times in the past she has took great delight in telling me that they had five kids to claim all the benefits. She admits they would only have had one if they had to work.
Before I had DS 10 months early I just used to shrug and think "each to their own". I know this sort of talk would annoy a lot of people but I was of the opinion that I would not swap places with her for the world and my husband and I get a lot out of our careers.
So anyway talking to her today I realised something.
Taking care of a baby is hard work (never mind five under eight)
This lady is always running round after her kids and always looks completely knackard as does her hubby. They never seem to have any time to relax, the nights trying to get their kids to sleep are awful as they all have to share bedrooms and when one kids wakes it sets the others off.
I want to shake her and say "you do realise working is actually easier then having all these kids" (four if which you did not really want) though I course I have no doubt in my mind she loves them to bits.
I just don't get the thinking of some people!
Can I also say this is not a benefit bashing thread and I am highly in favour of the Welfare state for those who need it. I guess I just don't understand how some people think a house full of kids is easier then going to work. And that you would have kids for that reason.
Also is the amount you get really so fabulous that you would do this?

^Give up your job and go on benefits then.

Then you can have loadsa kids and loadsa money^

If I didn't have more respect for myself I would :) I'd be able to go out for cocktails, nails and hair done weekly just like they do, dining out... :)

Defiant are you being ironic?

Just add that little lot up and throw in rent, bills and food.

It doesn't compute.

and Defiant you'd probably be in loads of debt. That's the bit you don't hear about when they're bragging, and talking up the lifestyle that doesn't actually allow for those things.

fideliney No I'm not being ironic, and obviously something does compute because they're literally doing this whilst not getting themselves in debt (none of them can get credit at all, in fact i've been asked to get contract phones and catalogues for them in the past)

I see this happening. Sometimes I can afford to go with them, most of the time not. This isn't just a couple of people, it's about 8. Not all the same friendship circle.

People don't believe it happens but it does happen. If I alone know 8 people then god knows how many people are taking the piss.

Why can't they get credit? Because they're already in debt. They always will be, it's a continual spiral downwards. I feel sorry for them, I suspect they don't really understand what they're doing in the long term.

Wow,a whole 8 people, in a population of over 63 million.

No they just can't get credit, I've known them all long enough and close enough to them to know. They get me to explain things to them, I go through all the applications for things with them. Since leaving school!

You see you constantly want these people to be the victims and they just aren't. Yes they're my friends, but they aren't victims and they'd resent you thinking so. They love their lifestyles, and they'll continue to live like that.

smiles

Missing the point much? If I alone know 8 which is a large amount for one single person to know, then how many must there be

If it hadn't have been for benefits the west of Ireland would be even more depopulated than it is. As it is, the whole music scene that made Ireland famous for so many years was thanks to so many young people on benefits that they had the time to work on their music.

IIRC that's how UB40 were formed and got their name from.

Hair + nails + cocktails + dinner out = £100minimum
Weekly rent + bills + groceries = £300minimum

And that's before clothing, car costs, shoes, bus fares, white goods, insurance, catalogues, days out, school trips, or anything else at all

How can it be done with no access to credit? Unless there is another source of income (in which case benefits aren't the issue at all)?

300 a week on rent bills and groceries is wrong, it's more like £100.

I'm not saying they are victims Defiant. I am saying if they are managing to have such a fine old time, they are not funding it purely through benefits and covering their basic living costs too.

A SW friend who worked in a intensive intervention project (residential) in a depressed area told me once that it was not unusual for her clients to have months of rent arrears and empty cupboards despite being highly groomed with designer clad toddlers. Even when they had HB claims in payment. It usually turned out they were on the game and (subconsciously) viewed money as something dirty to be spent as fast as humanly possible and that many of these young women seemed to equate luxury goods with love.

I know that's an extreme example and a generalisation.

It's about right for the benefit calculations i wasdoing for clients in our local CAB, but ok you live in a cheaper rent area so benefit income will be lower too.

So what kind of weekly income do you think these friends are getting from the state then?

Defiant
This is a nonsense. I have been on benefits, I have three children with disabilities and a disabled dh. Point is, that means we got a wee bit more, and I certainly didn't have the money for the things you suggest.

I couldn't think of anything worse than having hordes of children and being on benefits. There is a reason that many working people stop at a certain number of children, often 2 or 3, because they know that if they have more they wouldn't be able to afford them. However, if you don't work, you know that the state will keep forking out for them. This is why I think that the state should only pay child benefit for a certain number of children, three would be about right. After that, you're on your own.

Loletta
Sometimes a percentage of rent does come from that money.

Yes I do think single people have it harder, than being said children should be more of a priority than adults. Although I think adults should get a minimum of £100 per week including under 25's.

If poor people are forced to have fewer children then rich people should be obliged to have more. I think at least three.

My bills are £300 a week easily.
Nearly £200 of it rent.
Yes that's HA.