To not get the "I have loads of kids so I can claim benefits and have an easy life"idea

[Lancashiregal10]

Taking to my neighbour today who has five kids. Her and her husband claim benefits.
We live in a part council estate/ part privately owned
Today and many times in the past she has took great delight in telling me that they had five kids to claim all the benefits. She admits they would only have had one if they had to work.
Before I had DS 10 months early I just used to shrug and think "each to their own". I know this sort of talk would annoy a lot of people but I was of the opinion that I would not swap places with her for the world and my husband and I get a lot out of our careers.
So anyway talking to her today I realised something.
Taking care of a baby is hard work (never mind five under eight)
This lady is always running round after her kids and always looks completely knackard as does her hubby. They never seem to have any time to relax, the nights trying to get their kids to sleep are awful as they all have to share bedrooms and when one kids wakes it sets the others off.
I want to shake her and say "you do realise working is actually easier then having all these kids" (four if which you did not really want) though I course I have no doubt in my mind she loves them to bits.
I just don't get the thinking of some people!
Can I also say this is not a benefit bashing thread and I am highly in favour of the Welfare state for those who need it. I guess I just don't understand how some people think a house full of kids is easier then going to work. And that you would have kids for that reason.
Also is the amount you get really so fabulous that you would do this?

[unrealhousewife]

Inspiration, you are doing a valuable job looking after four children, it probably costs the state less to fund your benefit than it would to fund child are for all your children and the unavoidable toll on your health and well being if you were working as well. It's only temporary, people on benefit aren't there forever, children grow up. Enjoy this time and make the best of it.

[x2boys]

Well this is it inspiration failed at present both myself and dh work our youngest has a diagnosis of autism and in receipt of mrc DLA if I was to give up work the amount we would be entitled to I CTC housing benefit ,I could also claim carers allowance would be only slightly less than icuurrently earn as a nurse.

[Ohwhatfuckeryisthis]

And Superstar said she has a goat. I want a goat too.
And I bet the caps are designer. I can only afford primarni.

[Perfectlypurple]

2/3 generations of family not working is not a myth. I know several families like that. Not in my private life but in my working life. I can think of half a dozen just off the top of my head without even thinking about it.

• not saying that people on benefits are workshy - just responding to the comment about the generation thing being a myth.

[daisychain01]

I get shit off my friends who are on benefits saying they don't know why I work when I could just have babies and be better off, making me feel bad when I cry off a night out because I can't afford it

Why bother having friends who behave and talk like this? Rhetorical question only, but why be surrounded with people having such a negative mentality, it would completely piss me off having so called "friends" getting in my face about working and contributing my tax money to them! Don't they make the connection? Where do they think benefits come from, Father Christmas?

[daisychain01]

ohwhat I suggest you contact your MP about that. You have a human right to genuine designer labels, not just Primani. It could be psychologically damaging you as we speak - hurry hurry before the harm is long-term.

[LeftyLoony]

X2 you said it. Slightly less. Which is still less.
Or do you think that I should be in work with 3 kids who have autism and roger complex health needs?

Got £30 an hour for childcare, have you?

[winkywinkola]

But I can't imagine a life on benefits is any quality of life. It's not exactly riches, is it?

[x2boys]

No of course I don't leftylooney which is why I am going to give up work one child with autism is bloody hard work never mind three and even if I did have 30\an hour for childcare getting a childminder to look after my autistic child is a whole different ballgame where do I say I expect parents of disabled children to work ?

[Lancashiregal10]

I have not returned because it was late last night and I went to sleep. Posted late as it was the only chance I got as DS would not go to sleep. I have been getting my baby up, dressed and doing breakfast.
Also it is Father's Day so been spending the morning so far with him and DS.
I'm sorry but I don't get the bashing the OP always gets if she does not come back straight away. People do have lives to live
Also to those who think I have made it up and I am a daily mail fan who is just posting this to stir think what you like
I can only post the facts as they were said to me by my neighbour. She may well be not telling the whole truth but I don't know that.
People come on this board to get opinions and I realise there are quite a few made up posts but I think they should be treated as genuine unless proved otherwise.
Also it was meant to say I had my son 10 months earlier not 10 months early. Oh actually no wait I did not tell the truth there he is actually closer to 11 months.

[Pipbin]

£26k is not poverty either.

[FiveFingerDeathPunch]

really a nurse earns just slightly more than carers allowance!!
£62 a week for 24/7 care

[Lancashiregal10]

Also I know couples who would love to work but they have decided for whatever reason to stay at home and raise their kids either because they can't get a Job or they are caught in the benefits trap which is so easy a postion I find yourself in. I have said before I am huge fan of the welfare state and think all the cuts are disgusting. I work with disabilied people and have seen first hand the hardship caused by these cuts. I have a disability myself which would make it hard for me to find a Job that would accommodate me if I lost the one that I had.
My post was around the fact my neightbour seems to think raising five kids was easier then working. I just wonder where some people get this way of thinking.

[Lancashiregal10]

I actually admire her in a way as I don't think I could Raise five kids. (though no doubt i would if i have to) So I guess I think I have an easier life then her and she thinks she has an easier life then me.

[ICanHearYou]

fid my personal circumstances do nothing but allow me more experience in life working and life on benefits.

I have just come out of a 10 year marriage where for some of the time he worked and we got tc and some of the time we both worked.

I also study economics and devote a lot of time to looking at the situation politically and thinking about what we could possibly do to change it. Reading my previous threads and 'using them against me' in the tenuous way you have chosen to, makes you no better than these 'trolls' you despite so much, nor does your constant derailment and abusive manner on this (and probably many other) thread.

My opinion on the benefit system, including tax credits, has remained the same despite the economic situation I find my family in because I study it impartially as part of my degree and some of us are able to have informative opinions based on facts rather than what is best for us.

I wonder what your motives are and what you get out of posting in such a whiny, negative and foot stamping manner. It is very unattractive.

[x2boys]

Oh please,five finger people just have to twist everything I earn approx 1800\month after tax now when I spoke to cares UK for advice with CTC ( currently not entitled) housing benefit DLA which we have just started getting and cares allowance it comes to 1600/month factor in no travelling expanses its very doable please stop twisting what people!

[FiveFingerDeathPunch]

sorry I must have misread your post.

[Lancashiregal10]

Also Itsjustmeagain
Did I say I could not cope no I didn't, I cope very well thankyou. I just said I find it hard like a lot of mothers do. I knew someone would bite back at me for admitting that. My little boy is a very happy little boy and there was no need for you nasty little comment. Part of the reason I find it hard to cope is I have epilepsy but I was not going to mention that.
I am not ashamed of the fact I find it hard to cope at times and think no mother should be made to feel ashamed that she find it hard to cope. It's does not matter of she has 1 kid or 10.
And if she is on another board then good on her though I can honestly say she won't be complaining about my attitude towards her, I have never sneered at my neighbour once.

[DefiantRage]

People just sidetrack around the main points banging on about goats (which stopped being funny a while ago) and disability cars. As soon as benefits are mentioned on Mumsnet that's it, it gets shot down because people just won't accept that people willingly abuse them - instead they're some poor vulnerable person trapped in this vicious government made cycle


Good for you if you don't know anyone that abuses the system, you must live a sheltered life surrounded by nice people.

[Itsjustmeagain]

OP my childcare bill for 5 children comes to just under £2000 a month, obviously our children were planned so we took this into account BUT the problem with suddenly cutting her benefits (regardless of ow right or wrong she was to have a large family with no means to support it) is that essentially you give the couple a huge bill which would wipe out most of their wages even assuming the both worked at minimum wages.
I actually would like to see a benefit limit at 2 children starting with children born say next year (so existing families are not thrown into poverty) simply because I am SICK of being judged for having 5 children by people such as many who have posted on this thread!

[TheBogQueen]

Hmmm

Well I guess the mindset is a very narrow one op. You can have five children and live a certain lifestyle but it's going to be one beset financial difficulty, inadequate housing, regrets and missed chances.

Your neighbour may think you are confused by her life choices, she may think you pity her. Thus she will reimagine her life as one where she is playing the game, living the dream.

It isn't reality.

[DefiantRage]

daisy I have distanced myself from them, but they've been my friends since I was at school so it's difficult

[Ohwhatfuckeryisthis]

And seriously. (Not about capped goats) a few times it has been mentioned about minimum wages and working 30 hours a week. Most retail workplaces don't offer 30hours a week, it's part time with o/t extra hours if you are lucky. So claiming h/b is a total bugger as you don't know what you will get from one week to another, you end up either in rent arrears or being overpaid HB. (And most unskilled jobs are in this sector)