be angry about facebook photos?

[Daisy122]

Neither me nor my husband are on facebook, were more pick up the phone and chat or meet for dinner type ppl not really into the whole social network vibe - thats just us each to their own and no judgements on anyone else were quite aware were unusual in that respect especially both being under 30 and otherwise very social ppl :) Anyway when i got pregnant with my daughter we told family and friends that we didnt want any photos putting on facebook or announcements ect anything to do with baby really as were not on there to monitor it and we want to share first photos, news, scans ect ourselves in our own way; everyone agreed to this and we made particularly sure this was explained to my fil as he has a facebook page and likes to befriend everyone and anyone and is very open with his private life. Anyway when i was 5 months pregnant we got our second scan photo and went to visit both my parents and my husbands to show them in person, my fil asked for a photo of it and i said sure just dont put it on facebook please he said ok and took the photo. The following evening me and hubby go out to meet friends for dinner and proudly show off our scan only to be told oh weve already seen it on fils fbook page. So we get home go on his page through my brothers account and not only has he posted the scan photo but he had announced my pregnancy before we did and posted my scan dates, due date ect ect. My hubby called him and said we where really upset with him and felt really betrayed he said fine ill take it down and wont do it again but was not apologetic at all. We moved on and when my daughter was 2 months old i met hubbys parents friend in the street i went to introduce her to our baby and she said oh ive already seen her on fil's facebook, i was fuming got home and we discovered fils facebook profile pic was him and our daughter and other photos had been posted, he also had not removed the previous scan photos as requested. we invited him round to tell him we where really annoyed by this total disreagrd for our wishes and he said shes my granddaughter i can decide whats best for her and called us pathetic and reclusive just because we dont want photos on fb. My daughter goes to baby clubs, mums and tots, sees friends and family every week yet because her image isnt slapped all over the web were reclusive!!!! am i right to be so annoyed? thanks xxx

Is it really impossible tripecity?? Really don't see the need to give op such a hard time about spelling etc. That's not why she came on here and nothing to do with what's she's talking about.

Op id get DH to make it very clear to FIL that your not ok with it and he must stop posting pictures of your dd. You are her parents it's your choice.

I really don't understand why so many people are being so bitchy to the OP. Maybe too much vino alone, while DP is watching the footie perhaps.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all OP.
I share everything on FB, but I will talk to any stranger about any topic, that's just me. My twin sister on the other hand is the opposite. She's very reserved and values her privacy. She would blow a gasket if I posted her scan pics on social media. So I never would. It is her right and her choice and I love and respect her.
Your FiL was completely out of order. All the people saying you should lighten up etc. would you be ok with someone tweeting your medical details after you asked them not to? Because pregnancy is a medical condition.

Thing is, this is only tip of the iceberg..... And I was being serious asking about other sites such as twitter, Instagram. How can you be wasting so much energy chasing up what he posts and where? And other people might do it.... So you need to check those accounts too...

YANBU I would be f-ing furious. He can't take it in his own hands because he doesn't agree with your choice.

I decided to challenge myself to a month off fb and am loving it.

I would have a serious discussion with him and I don't think you'd be U to refuse him photos and info.

She's your DD!

YANBU OP.

And I can't believe anyone else things that his behaviour is acceptable.

It stuns me the way that people stick pictures of their children on fb. By doing that their children have lost any right to privacy. It's even worse if someone is posting personal pictures and information on fb which us not theirs to share and which they've been specifically asked not to share. I'd be seething OP and I'm not surprised that you are. Only on mn do you get people who would argue that what he's done is acceptable.

i have come on here to talk about the issues in my post and im being rounded on by several people about my grammar its very degrading and hurtful. its incredibly easy to hide behind a made up username and be mean to people, i really hope your not like this in person you must trample peoples feelings daily.

Thank you for the people that have shown support and understanding and even for the people that didnt but managed to post a reply and opinion without trying to put me down for unrelated things.

YANBU in the sense that he has disrespected your wishes, and regardless of what that relates to, you are entitled to feel put out.

However, I do feel that you are being precious about the facebook thing. Unless there are specific child-protection issues, I've never 'got' the whole facebook/no photos mindset. They are photos of your beautiful children. Why not? What does it matter if people see photos of them? People see them in the street all the time. Just don't 'get it' at all tbh.

OP is getting a hard time because I'm assuming posters thing she is a recent troll, similar name and no posting history.

Report don't feed if that's what people are thinking.

Daisy it isn't an issue to most of us.

OP I'd be cheesed off too as he's just ignored your requests. Whilst I do have a fb account I never post pictures of my children as I don't think it's necessary. It seems that this would be the tip of the iceberg - what else might he want to announce or show before you do? I'd be keeping him at arms' length and probably not tell him things which you might have done in the past.

im not a troll im actually sat in tears for what ppl have said to me which i feel very silly about because i should no better than that but i most certainly would not treat anyone the way i have been treated on here today or worse!

I use FB quite a lot and have no issues about putting photos on there.
However, I don't think YABU at all. You asked him not to do it, he agreed and said he'd remove the previous pics and not only did he not do that, but went and repeated the offence as well. I'd be livid too.

The only thing you can do is to not allow him to take any further photos for the time being. Maybe then he'd get the message as to exactly how pissed off you are.

i take it my username is simillar to a previous trolls? my name isnt actually daisy that my username because my daughter loves daisy doo from in the night garden, surely i havent posted anything in this thread to suggest im some horrid troll those type of ppl disgust me

Look, it's done now..... How will you move forward?

Daisy please don't worry about it. You've had plenty of normal responses too.

Aw daisy, don't let these utter knobs upset you! You raised a valid point and asked for advice. Fb causes so much heart ache these days and these people giving abuse are obviously the same as your fil and broadcast their life on the thing! Chin up chick! x

I don't think you are being unreasonable, you told them not to do it and they still did I'd be pretty upset too.

I always sent photos of dd to my GPs. They could have shown these to absolutely anyone. Why is FB any different?

im not a troll im actually sat in tears for what ppl have said to me which i feel very silly about because i should no better than that but i most certainly would not treat anyone the way i have been treated on here today or worse!

Words on a screen can be surprisingly painful even though, in theory, it should be easy to close down the window and walk away.

I don't know if it's just Saturday nights that bring out the spite and people who defy the usual netiquette of ignoring spelling and grammar in posts.

Take no notice. They have nothing better to do.

I think YANBU. Many people don't put their children on FB and it's perfectly reasonable to expect others to respect their wished.

i think FB is different to me PortofinoRevisited because you can take a screen shot of an image on your phone or what have you and save the image to your own personal devices from facebook. A granparent will show a physical photo but they are unlikely to hand them out, FIL'S facebook page had no security settings if you typed his name into google my daughters image would come up on the first page im just not comfortable with it.

I always sent photos of dd to my GPs. They could have shown these to absolutely anyone. Why is FB any different?

Because I bet your GPs don't show the photo to hundreds of random people. And you chose the photos.
Bet FiL in this case has poor privacy settings.

And it was very rude to tell all about the pregnancy and show the scan photos when specifically asked not to. No excuse for that.

I always sent photos of dd to my GPs. They could have shown these to absolutely anyone. Why is FB any different?

OP said her FIL has a lot of people he doesn't know on FB (or that is the impression I got) so it's not the same. You wouldn't show randomers pics of your grandchildren.

Why is fb any different?? Because you can right click and save to your own computer and anyone all over the world can do it. Because anyone has access to them and to be fair the world contains some bloody weirdos! Would you knock on the door of the local letch and produce some pics of your kids... no!