be angry about facebook photos?

[Daisy122]

Neither me nor my husband are on facebook, were more pick up the phone and chat or meet for dinner type ppl not really into the whole social network vibe - thats just us each to their own and no judgements on anyone else were quite aware were unusual in that respect especially both being under 30 and otherwise very social ppl :) Anyway when i got pregnant with my daughter we told family and friends that we didnt want any photos putting on facebook or announcements ect anything to do with baby really as were not on there to monitor it and we want to share first photos, news, scans ect ourselves in our own way; everyone agreed to this and we made particularly sure this was explained to my fil as he has a facebook page and likes to befriend everyone and anyone and is very open with his private life. Anyway when i was 5 months pregnant we got our second scan photo and went to visit both my parents and my husbands to show them in person, my fil asked for a photo of it and i said sure just dont put it on facebook please he said ok and took the photo. The following evening me and hubby go out to meet friends for dinner and proudly show off our scan only to be told oh weve already seen it on fils fbook page. So we get home go on his page through my brothers account and not only has he posted the scan photo but he had announced my pregnancy before we did and posted my scan dates, due date ect ect. My hubby called him and said we where really upset with him and felt really betrayed he said fine ill take it down and wont do it again but was not apologetic at all. We moved on and when my daughter was 2 months old i met hubbys parents friend in the street i went to introduce her to our baby and she said oh ive already seen her on fil's facebook, i was fuming got home and we discovered fils facebook profile pic was him and our daughter and other photos had been posted, he also had not removed the previous scan photos as requested. we invited him round to tell him we where really annoyed by this total disreagrd for our wishes and he said shes my granddaughter i can decide whats best for her and called us pathetic and reclusive just because we dont want photos on fb. My daughter goes to baby clubs, mums and tots, sees friends and family every week yet because her image isnt slapped all over the web were reclusive!!!! am i right to be so annoyed? thanks xxx

YANBU in my opinion! I have the same worries although I am on facebook I don't post photos/updates much, I just like to use it to keep in touch. I like to keep some things private and I think your FIL is being disrespectful when you have asked him multiple times. It's not that much to ask frankly, stand your ground! It's about respecting your wishes as parents, he's had his children, this is about yours.

Daisy- you don't have to make excuses as to why you didn't use paragraphs etc. There seem to be a few odd people on this thread who can't seem to read if the text isn't in nice neat paragraphs, and get 'offended' by grammatical errors. Just ignore.

I can't believe the nastiness and personal attacks you're getting on here. For what it's worth, I think yanbu. Your FIL should respect your wishes, and I can understand your annoyance.

WaitingForMyMam excellent link.

hello i am the OP just had to change names as couldnt get into my account!

Zippey - i think you may well end up in the position my in laws are in now if that's your attitude, absolutely absurd and arrogant attitude to have imo.

YANBU

I can well understand your annoyance at your FIL blatantly ignoring your wishes. It's downright fucking rude!

I'm trying to step away from Facebook. Think I'm finally getting bored of it and actually inbetween some of the frankly quite nasty and uncalled posts about your grammar in your op there was a post that got me thinking. Can't remember who it was but they said something about how our kids might feel when they're older about us plastering photos of them on there for all to see. I hadn't thought of that and then remembered how I cringed recently when my Mum found an old album full of photos of me as kid (with an appalling haircut) and wanted to show my dh. Luckily she forgot about it thank fuck.

I hope you sort it out, op. I've no suggestions as to how you could. I sympathise, my fil is a stubborn old arse who thinks he always right and doesn't do apologies. Drives me mad.

Uncalled for posts

I got interrupted.

MrsItsNow - Thanks, it was a very good point by the previous poster definatly something worth considering it possibly not something many ppl think of. x

Don't worry, all babies look the same, it could be anyone's he's posting picture of

Also bear in mind that his friends are not likely to be interested in the first place! They will probably scroll over.

WooItsAGhostCat -Harsh discipline and putting photos on FB are not comparable really. It is a silly analogy.

A better analogy is that you are the PIL of Hitler and you decide to reject his ways of teaching his children to discriminate and hate people. You decide to teach your grandchildren general kindness to people and animals instead.

Facebook is actually a wonderful tool to communicate and I think you should let this go OP, for the sake of harmony, and maybe rethink your ideas on FB.

I hope you can find a way to make this work. It all seems storm in a teacupish, and I would think life was too short for these silly squabbles.

Zippey - how is that a better analogy, are you comparing me to Hitler?

I do not want my daughters image on facebook that is my right as her mother, i certainly do not have to reconsider my feelings on facebook to conform to what you may consider the norm!

Can you not see past the wonderful world of facebook and see that fil has lied and gone against our wishes on several occasions despite agreeing to our wants in the first place!?

dont see what you think we have done wrong anyway, we say we really dont want something doing he says ok - then goes against it. We say we are really hurt by this he says ok and then does it again. We say why have you done this!??? he says because i am her granddad and will do what i wish, we say i think you should come round to discuss this as we cant go forward like this - he says accept it or i wont bother having a relationship with GD. Wheres the Hitler analogy? Because were sooooo controlling for not wanting our daughters image slapped over the internet for all and sundry to see?

Yes. daisybug is the second Hitler. She is cruel to people and abuses animals because she doesn't have Facebook.

Lol.

For all you know i could be Jewish and that could of been a particularly devastating analogy, even not being Jewish its an incredibly strong and cutting analogy to make - idiot!

Why should she compromise her principles just to appease a man who wants to "show off" her DD in the pub?
Strange that you aren't suggesting FIL realises he is causing family division by his actions. Although by the sounds of it DD will probably be better off without him in her life, because he sounds very dictatorial.
If we have to use a Hitler analogy, then surely zippey has picked on the wrong person!
FIL's made it clear he will not listen to anybody and is probably just doing this because he can and because he wants to annoy you. Really, such a petty and vindictive person isn't worth losing any sleep over and your life will probably be a lot more peaceful if he stays in his childish strop. He certainly will not suffer at all from not being able to post photos of DD on FB and it's about time somebody stood up to him and made him realise his not a dictator, just an ordinary GP who has to concede to the parents wishes.

Bwahahahaha

Yes Hitler. Always a great point of reference in a thread about Facebook.

A better analogy is that you are the PIL of Hitler and you decide to reject his ways of teaching his children to discriminate and hate people. You decide to teach your grandchildren general kindness to people and animals instead.

I don't follow.

But! I am always amazed at how Godwin's Law manages to prevail over even the most unlikely of topics!

OP: Honestly, you're going to run into parenting conflicts with the GP's who think they know best. It's best to nip it in the bud now. Grandparents are for the child's benefit, not the other way around. I didn't know my grandfather or certain family members growing up and I'm none the worse for it. She can't miss what she doesn't know. :)

Zippey seriously? Please think about what you are saying before you post.

He sounds a total pain in the ass!

A better analogy is that you are the PIL of Hitler

Godwin's Law.

Zippey, you just lost the argument.

That doesn't even make sense in any context, that analogy.

How about he's an arrogant wanker and 'won't be told what to do'.

Zippey i just called you a cunt on another thread, another poster quite rightly pulled me up on it as i should say it to you, not slag you behind your back, so there you go......im not going to say it again, horrible word but felt justified at the time of typing.

YANBU. He deliberately ignored your wishes; it's your news, not his. He behaved in a high handed and arrogant way and in your position I would be seething.

And please ignore the puffed up self importance of those who comment on spelling, punctuation and grammar. They are rude.