To be disappointed at perfunctory Christening present?

[shil0846]

DD was Christened last week and we asked, amongst others, my DS and BIL to be Godparents.

The background is that we asked them when DD was only a couple of months old and they came over all the time and seemed really to love her. We therefore thought they would be ideal Godparents. Since then, and as DD has got a bit older (now 16 m), their visits have tailed off and they rarely see her, even though I often invite them to come and they live close by. We've been concerned that they seem to have lost interest, but didn't feel like we could un-ask them.

They came to the Christening but didn't stay late. Their gift was a £20 first tooth box from John Lewis (I know because I bought one for the DD of a friend). AIBU to think that a gift from Godparents should be something a bit more special? They are both working and have expensive holidays so money isn't an issue for them.

I feel like they've gone for a default option and hurt that they put very little thought into the gift.

Their gift is the promise they will be making to her though, a christening isn't about material gifts.

You probably should have checked if they really wanted to be godparents before continuing when they lost interest.

It sounds a bit dull but I'm not sure what gift is fab for a toddler.

I would put it down to experience.

I agree, their gift is being the god parent. What did you want as a Christening gift? Did you compare the cost of gift vs cost of holidays for all your other guests too?

the godparents are there for the child's moral welfare :)

Not about the pressies. So long as they're an active part of your dc's childhood, nothing to worry about.

Hurt! Really! I think you have forgotten the real reason a baby should be christened! Not just for the presents.

Really?

Didn't you send a list and a grabby poem??? Tsk - you are obviously new to the Baptismzilla game.

How many godparents did you have? Are you rating them by gift?

Christening gifts? Are you actually interested in Christianity? Or is it just a rite of passage? Did you invite them to be godparents because you thought they'd give good presents?
A baptism is a celebration welcoming a child into the Christian family. It is not about presents costing "only £20".

We had Naming Ceremonies rather than Christenings as we're not religious, but we didn't ask for/expect gifts at all. DC were given some nice books though.

What kind of gifts are expected at a Christening?

Grabby much? Christenings are not about the presents, you sound like a nightmare. How are you going to react when they spend less than that on her next birthday gift? It sounds like they bought a traditional present, you shouldn't even be considering the cost.

Have they 'lost interest' or are you just hard work? The influx of visitors does die down once babies get a bit older, you have to put the effort in to see people.

£20 for a tooth box sounds expensive. It's difficult to know what to get for a christening, it's meant to be a gesture surely. A toddler wants big noisy plastic toys not silver bracelets and keepsakes really.

Honestly, my children were given bibles and didn't get any expensive presents. A christening or baptism is not about presents.

What gift would you have found appropriate?
Also, if it was good enough for your friends child, why not for your child.
It sounds like a typical christening gift to me, and no I don't think god parents should have to spend a lot.
The point of God parents is that they are a support to the child as it grows up, not to shower the child in expensive gifts.

I'm worried that my DS and BIL aren't interested in my DD (see my OP - no visits - they hadn't seen my DD for 3 months before the Christening). Then they left early and put little thought into the gift.

By way of comparison, my MIL went sifting through local junk shops (her words, not mine) to find a spoon with my DD's initial on it. We were really touched by the effort she had put in and that it is a wonderful unique thoughtful gift. It's not about the cost. It is about showing that they're interested and care, and will be there for her.

I'm concerned that their conduct suggests that they are just not interested and won't be there for her.

Well you should have set up a gift list really. Or included your bank details in the invitation.

Do you go to church op.

Will your child go every week.

As christened in the faith...if it was just a naming ceremony you wanted. ....

But your title concerns the gift OP. Why mention the price if the gift isn't the issue.
Also, although your child is the most important thing in your world, they aren't the most important thing to everyone else. May be they have been busy for the last 3 months.

You said they were asked "amongst others" How many godparents are there?

You come across as greedy and shallow.

A first tooth box is an entirely appropriate Christening gift. What were you expecting - the deeds to her first house? Utterly vile.

Had you made the effort to see them in the 3 months before the christening or are you expecting them to visit each time? If you want them to be important in your child's life you have to make the effort too.

Hi Glasgow. In answer to your enquiry. Yes I do go to Church. And yes I take my DD.

I don't go every week as it's evening service once a month and too late for my DD.

The spoon sounds nice but really????

This isn't about the tooth box it's about you thinking they've lost interest.