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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed that MIL is only giving us £300,000?

160 replies

WeddedBliss · 11/06/2014 20:10

OK, so hypothetically.

We were having that 'What would you do if you won £80 million on the lottery?' conversation.

MIL said she'd love to be able to set her family up for life. That dh and DBIL would obviously be first on the list, and she'd give them £300k each.

£300k? Really? You're only giving your two sons £300k each out of friggin £80 million? I'd be giving my best friend more than that if it were me, never mind my dc.

AIBU to think she's being really stingy?

OP posts:
randomAXEofkindness · 11/06/2014 20:34

Dh's uncle told us that he'd buy our house if he won: then rent it back to us.

Ta for that love Grin Hmm

Dwerf · 11/06/2014 20:34

My kids were having this conversation with their dad (my ex) the other day. Apparently, if he was a billionaire, he'd buy me a house. He also said he'd offer me a job as a maid. I spread my arms at the midden that is my house and enquired "What, with my crap housekeeping skills? You'd be better off employing me a whore." He agreed.

TL:DR I'm a better shag than a housewife Grin

Letthemtalk · 11/06/2014 20:36

What age is she, did you point out that when she pegs it you'll all get it anyway? I've got power of attorney for my mum, so if she wins she knows I'll pay an unscrupulous lawyer to declare her unfit and I'll get control of it ALL!!!

Stinkle · 11/06/2014 20:36

God, DH and I once had the mother of all rows over what we'd spend the lottery winnings on.

He wanted to give his mum more than I gave my Mum and dad and he felt my Mum and Dad were better off. My stance was that if anyone was getting a bigger share it would be my mum and dad as they've done so much for us over the years and his mother is just a high maintenance pain in the arse

We don't dare talk about what we'd spend it on now Grin

BuilderMammy · 11/06/2014 20:38

We'd give away at least 50%, but it would be tough to work out the breakdown between our families; DH has 5 siblings and I have 1. He thinks they should all get equal amounts, but I don't think that's fair on my family.

SIL said she'd split the whole thing 6 ways, between the 6 siblings, and not give their parents any. She thinks it would be fine for them to just ask for a few quid when they needed it Hmm

KneesoftheBee · 11/06/2014 20:40

'tis the root of all evil.

Give it all to me and I will spare you having to fall out.

areyoubeingserviced · 11/06/2014 20:42

I would keep every penny for myself.
I would be tempted not to tell dh( whom I love dearly)

WorraLiberty · 11/06/2014 20:43

This thread reminds me of a hypothetical conversation I had with my mate's 6yr old son.

Him: "Oh wow, imagine winning millions on the lottery"

Me: "What would you buy?"

Him: "A whole village made of Lego and a new football kit"

Me: "I bet you'd buy your Mum a lovely new house too"

Him: < Visibly upset with bottom lip quivering > "No, why would I do that? I like my Mummy living here with me"

Grin
TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 11/06/2014 20:45

Oooh, I would start off with orgamis

JudysPriest · 11/06/2014 20:48

Oooh thanks for reminding me to get a ticket.

I am also looking forward to a few days of 'what if?'.

I'd have a huge farm house and aim for self sustainability, chickens, pigs, a huge veg patch. Solar panels. I'd have my very own tractor to ride around on. Gucci overalls, natch.

MIL and her husband would get 1 mil, FIL and his wife would get 1mil. My mum who is a widow would get 2 mil. All would be sworn to secrecy. I'd probably have to fight my Mum to take it.

Siblings would be given a house each.

800k per year? I'd hope to give around 500k to charity each year and support myself on the farm as much as possible.

xihha · 11/06/2014 20:49

FIL and I had a conversation about if i won, he said I can buy him a beer and a pair of slippers for all he cares so long as I promise to spoil the kids rotten, therefore should I ever win lots of money FIL will be the only person I tell Grin

TheFairyCaravan · 11/06/2014 20:53

We had a hypothetical conversation like that with FIL once.

He said he wouldn't give any money away until he had earned enough interest so that when he did give the money he still had as much left as he had won, iykwim.

So DH asked if that meant he would sit there with all that money in the bank whilst SIL was on benefits (she was at the time), and he was still due to be going on a tour to Afghanistan, and FIL said yes! Shock.

I couldn't believe it!

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 11/06/2014 20:54

That did not at all turn out right!

I would start off with organising a massive holiday/party by flying relays of family and friends to somewhere like the Maldives.

I'd pay off dad's mortgage, give him a large lump sum, and set up trust funds for my little brother and sisters.

I'd pay off mum's mortgage and give her a lump sum, and give PIL a lump sum (they are mortgage-free) so that everyone had had the same amount. The kids would be extra as neither mum nor PIL have young kids so wouldn't need as much.

I'd pay off DSis's mortgage too, and we'd go on the shopping spree to end all shopping sprees. I'd probably give her and BIL some cash too.

I'd buy a huge house and hire a chef, housekeeper, cleaner, nanny and gardener...

I'd buy DD a pony and DH a Lamborghini...

I'd get myself a personal trainer and get really fit and healthily slim, and then I'd go shopping again...

Mintyy · 11/06/2014 20:57

I think she sounds a bit dim, like she can't really grasp just how much £80million is. I hope you laughed and sneered at her £300,000.

And lol at £300,000 being enough to set you up for life. We have some Mumsnetters living on that per annum and insisting they're not really rich, just comfortable ... Grin.

Objection · 11/06/2014 21:02

Thanks for the reminder! OP, if I win ill send £300k your way as I'd have forgotten to play otherwise!

The Fri euro millions is just over £100mil.

I'd work out a good amount to give to family and friends (an amount each rather than paying off mortgages because that wouldn't be fair to those who have worked hard and paid most off already)

I'd set up my own animal charity and give a good chunk to established charities.

I'd buy a big house and hire staff and spend my days in a great but badly paid job - one I'd love.
At the moment I'm aiming for high paid careers but wouldn't need the stress after a big win!!

Mintyy · 11/06/2014 21:06

The absolute first think I'm going to do when I win the lottery is hire a private chef! Before I pay off the overdraft and upgrade the car and get the house finished off, I'm going to outsource all my cooking duties.

Ooooooooh, cannot wait.

CarbeDiem · 11/06/2014 21:09

I'm another that'd like to know why the £300,000.
Surely it makes more sense to split it 1 million, half a million or quarter of a million.

Minty what you just wrote - £300,000 yearly and not rich just made me do a rather loud ''EH? WTF!'' My Fil earns half of that and he's rich, far from just 'comfortable'.

NomNomDePlum · 11/06/2014 21:10

i'm sure they are comfortable.

TrueGent · 11/06/2014 21:14

My plan for the lottery win is to give 30% away (plus tax - w*nkers) to my family, split into 10 shares; so if we won £100m, we would do this:

£30m split thus:

Mum and step-dad - £3m (2 shares)
Father - £1.5m (1 share)
Brother - £3m (1 share)
Sister - £3m (1 share)
Brother-in-law - £3m (1 share)
Sister-in-law - £3m (1 share)
Parents-in-law - £3m (2 shares)
Step-sister - £750k (1/2 share)
Uncle - £750k (1/2 share)

Then would pay the ~40% tax on top of that = £12m; leaving us with £58m.

But each to their own.

Promenot · 11/06/2014 21:24

I'd love to be in the position to decide who gets what :-D If it was 100 mill I'd give 2 mill to each of our 8 close relatives, put 10 mill away for DD and any future kids, use £54 mill to set up a charity for homeless\people living in poverty and enjoy the rest :-D I wish!

ebwy · 11/06/2014 21:25

I used to think I'd put some in trust funds for my cousin's 4 kids and pay off my brother's mortgage and my mother's too, but since they didn't help me out when I was made homeless with a newborn, and the cousin can't even be bothered to give token gift to my kids now I think they can sod off. So I'd give my "chosen family" who have always treated me right the mortgages paid off and my kids and their "cousin" big funds instead

BadgersNadgers · 11/06/2014 21:30

Lowers voice to a whisper...

If I won I wouldn't tell anyone other than DH and I certainly won't be giving people money

I'm not sure I'd even tell DH

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 11/06/2014 21:33

YANBU tight caaah Grin

Had endless conversations with my family and mates before about this very subject. I remember once when the jackpot was about the same as it is right now and my mum told me she'd buy herself a nice bungalow and let us (me, DP and our 2 DC) live in her teeny 2 bed flat. Of course we'd have to pay rent Hmm but not that much. Wow. thanks.

mineofuselessinformation · 11/06/2014 21:33

Hmmm, I think I'd keep it very quiet, but help out people who have helped me (so that means some of my family) and also do something for some people I know who are in shitty situations (like the lady at work who never married and whose partner threw her out with nothing - they even have children together but she couldn't face the fight Hmm).
As for the rest, I'd treat myself to the sports car I've always hankered after, maybe move, and put the rest away to be dipped into when I need it. And smile quietly every time XH moans about having no money when he's rolling in it.
It might help if I actually got round to buying a ticket though! Grin

Watercolourfootballs · 11/06/2014 21:34

To be honest, £300k would be lovely. I'd pay off my mortgage, put money in trust for the children and buy my DH the extravagant toy he quietly lusts after but isn't going to get.

That would be so nice.