To be annoyed that MIL is only giving us £300,000?

[WeddedBliss]

OK, so hypothetically.

We were having that 'What would you do if you won £80 million on the lottery?' conversation.

MIL said she'd love to be able to set her family up for life. That dh and DBIL would obviously be first on the list, and she'd give them £300k each.

£300k? Really? You're only giving your two sons £300k each out of friggin £80 million? I'd be giving my best friend more than that if it were me, never mind my dc.

AIBU to think she's being really stingy?

[Objection]

Left not let!

[Bogeyface]

Objection how exciting! What are your plans? Do you think that the age limit of 23 was a good idea or would you have preferred to have it sooner?

[ThingsThatShine]

For those talking about tax implications, surely there is no tax payable on a cash gift unless the giver dies within 7 years of giving you it, which would trigger inheritance tax to be due on anything which doesn't fall within the zero rated band for IHT - I'm not sure what other tax you are anticipating paying?! It is not income if it's a one off capital payment.

[Objection]

bogey it's all theory at the moment as I'm estranged from my father and have no other link to that side of the family (they hate me and my mum!) and of the two executers; one has died and the other one has no idea what's going on (elderly) so I couldn't trace the will. My cousin gets the same when she turns 23 in a year however and her mum will definitely ensure she gets it so I'm going to sit back and wait for that as mine will likely be done at the same time.
Until then I'm not making plans as I don't want to count my chickens!

I'm likely to invest in property though. I don't want to rely on it as such.

I think 23 is a good age, any younger and I'd have probably frittered it away. And that's even though I've always been pretty sensible!

[Bogeyface]

Objection

Please dont wait that long. Given that the relatives are very against, anything could have happened to the money especially if the dead or elderly executors gave power of attorney to someone else (not sure if they can over wills but worth checking). I personally would wait 28 days after your birthday and then write (recorded) to the remaining executor requesting that your inheritance (and all paperwork including a copy of the will and all accounts) are forwarded to you within 7 days. If you dont hear anything then instruct a solicitor.

Please dont wait another year, your inheritance could be long gone by then. Dont think about it from your own POV but from your grandmothers. She wanted you to have this to set you up, how do you think she would feel if you never saw a penny of her hard earned money that she left you because it had been stolen by someone else?

[Bogeyface]

Things the 7 year rule is exactly why I said I would say my family were a syndicate if I won, because none of us know what would happen tomorrow do we?

[Objection]

bogey I've already been in contact with the executor and he said the will was closed. He didn't have a copy but had a letter from the SRA saying they'd closed the solicitors firm that was used and had all their docs. So I used the ref number and contacted the SRA with their formal process and they had no records relating to it. My cousin doesn't even know about the inheritance. My grandma died 20 years ago and the other executor (the one who died) was my gorgeous and very savvy step - grandfather who I imagine took over the whole thing which is why my great uncle (the now only living executor) doesn't know what is going on.
The only options I have really are

A) contacting my Dad. Which isn't an option!
B) contacting my Aunt. Which is only slightly less horrendous than a
C) getting a solicitor who, from my research, take a HUGE chunk if they find anything (thing 40-50%)

I don't know what to do. My mum knows I'm in the will but that's all she does know!

[Objection]

[Sorry for hijack]

[Bogeyface]

Try the probate registry. If the will was registered there then they will have a copy of it.

I wonder if your Great Uncle is stringing you alone tbh.

[Bogeyface]

along not alone


Try posting in legal matters, you may not need one of the 50% lawyers.

[Bogeyface]

Oh and do you have a copy of the SRA letter?

If you dont then ask for one from your great uncle, it may be that he misinformed you.

[Objection]

I'll look into the probate thanks. And yes to legal matters, I meant to but never got round to it.

I don't think my great uncle was deliberately misleading me; he's also estranged from my Dad. My mum said he was very scatty and very lazy when she knew him, so that may play a part.

Thanks bogey!

[thesaurusgirl]

I've posted on here before about a friend of a friend who has won one of the "smaller" Euromillions prizes.

She's a barrister and has kept the lucrative career cover story and her nameplate in chambers even though she no longer has a practice.

The bar is full of family money and the newly minted so no-one thinks it odd.

I would love to have her life and I would love to have people think I'm really, really good at my job .

[thesaurusgirl]

The Middletons have a good front for hiding a lottery win (I'm not saying that's what their business is): they have a retail website (so no way for an outsider to monitor traffic and sales as would be the case if they actually had shop premises) and their company is a limited liability partnership, so they're not obliged to disclose their accounts.

As I'm not going to qualify as a barrister any time soon, I think this will be the road I go down on Saturday .

[MorrisZapp]

Surely having a wealthy MIL is always going to pay dividends though, well in excess of the comparatively small gift. She'll be showering you and yours with goodies until she shuffles off, and then it's super payday.

So cheer up.

[toomuchtooold]

Seeing as it's only hypothetical, she could've been really generous and said she'd give you half. It's not like she's actually going to have to front up with it. She must be trying to wind you up. Bloody mother in laws. Ah man, only reason I'm sad I didn't have any boys is that I don't ever get to roast the nerves of some poor daughter in law. Unless one of the wee ones bats for the other team. Somehow though it won't be the same.

[ladydepp]

Toomuchtooold - omg your post made me laugh!! "Roast the nerves" - I love it! I have 2 ds's and have always thought I will be the PERFECT MIL (my MIL is irritating beyond belief) but now I am thinking I might need to do some nerve roasting for my own amusement!

[Treasures]

YANBU.

However...

Right now, £300,000 would be enough for me, it would get me where I need to be in life. That'd do.

If I won millions myself, I might be generous enough to pay for my relatives to go and live abroad as I'm sure they'd like that.

[Bogeyface]

If I won millions myself, I might be generous enough to pay for my relatives to go and live abroad as I'm sure they'd like that

I, on the other hand, would pay DH's relatives to live abroad and stay there, we would like that very much! 1 is already abroad, 4 to go.....

[daisychain01]

DP and I have had many a fantasy conversation about "what we'd do if we won a few million on the lottery" and we think we'd carry on more or less as we are now. I think it would be such a stress, which is maybe why many big winners end up unhappy. Its so difficult dealing with that much money, it does change relationships, people read into things and you start to question who your friends are.

We'd be frightened of upsetting the fine balance of what we have now. We aren't loaded by any means but we are grateful not to worry about the mortgage unless the rates seriously increase more than 3% Id never see anyone I love without, so maybe we would just use it as bale out money to help people out.

Bill and Melinda Gates have already prepared their kids not to expect a big inheritance. I think they are very wise.

The other scarey thing is that people do read into what you give them money-wise - it's their way of measuring how much you care about them compared to other people. No matter how fair you try to be, you can bet your bottom dollar someone will take offence, and I know Id get all stressed out (DP would care less! I think men are more business like maybe).

[daisychain01]

Oops DP wouldn't care less...

[daisychain01]

Bogey, that's so funny, you'd have enough to set them really comfortably ... in New Zealand. No danger of surprise returns. They could live near my rely's!

[CrapBag]

I'd buy the relatives I trust and care about a house and car, nice holiday together.

That's Dsis 1 and her family, trust fund for nephew, 2 DBros, dad, my GPs (who would probably try and refuse anything - no you will take my money you selfish people ). Probably it from the family, I don't trust the rest. They will fall out with me/bitch about me etc etc so they get fuck all with my millions .

ILS get exactly the amount they have helped and contributed to our lives, probably about a tenner each. Sorry DH (but he would probably agree with me).

I'd have a house, not too big, good 5/6 bedrooms.
Another child (DC3)
Housekeepers/cleaners/chef
A horse and someone to look after it
A collection of sports cars
A villa in Florida and maybe Spain or somewhere like that
Some nice holidays, spend the summer travelling America
Private education for the kids and trust funds for when they are 25
I'd be well groomed at all times, go to the salon once a week for facials, nails, hair etc.
Fuck off big shopping spree in somewhere like New York, Paris, London.
Let the kids go a little bit mad for once, choosing some toys.
DH would want various rooms dedicated to memoribilia (like Star Trek, Liverpool etc , guess who isn't having control of the money)

The I'd live off the interest and give to various charities. Probably children/animals and research into certain illnesses that have affected me.

I have thought about this a lot.

Oh and I'd help 1 friend who always has shit luck. The rest, I actually wouldn't as life has taught me that friends don't seem to last so I don't want to waste my money on them. Before DH and I said we would buy a big community so all our friends could live in one place, then we stopped talking to many of them so it would have been awkward having to live with them, glad we didn't win a couple of years ago.

Oh and OP, your MIL is a selfish cow, tell her she'll get a grand.

[ithoughtofitfirst]

Sick! 300,000? what an absolute piss take.

[daisychain01]

Crapbag, I do like the idea of staff. Its good to increase employment, and give opportunity if the money is to be put to good use. And they could be very well cared for, maybe have their own lodge on the estate, nice car as part of the deal. Not thru'pence ha'penny like The Queen pays her staff.

I was only thinking today, I really would like to help my cleaner out, she is such a sweetie, she enjoys our cuppa and a chat and is a lone parent with a son, so Id want to give them some money so she wouldnt have to worry... But then I think if I do that, will she think I'm her benefactor and it might make her feel 'beholden' not in a nice way.

Bloody money it really is a pain!