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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to not hold the baby?

392 replies

trufflesnout · 08/06/2014 20:43

I don't think I was BU, but since I made a new mother look wounded today, I'm wondering if I was unreasonable or if she was being precious it was definitely her.

I was visiting a relative who has just happened to give birth recently. I'm not maternal at all and don't particularly enjoy being around small children (apart from my own daughter, who is perfect, obviously) but I don't tend to announce it to people since whenever I have I've been viewed as odd at best.

Even though the visit wasn't all about the baby, I paid the small pink loud thing a compliment or two for the mother's sake, as I thought it would be polite to do so since it had pretty much just emerged from her body. I think I must have shot myself in the foot with the two counts of prompted, generic praise, as at one point in the visit she asked if I would like to hold the baby.

I said politely and with a smile, "oh, no thank you".

She looked at me like I had just caved its face in with a toothpick. The conversation moved in and she didn't offer again thank God.

Was I horrendously rude in declining the offer to hold her baby?

OP posts:
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duckbilledplatitudes · 10/06/2014 14:29

I don't like holding babies either, although I do so i don't upset friends.
The point is I feel uncomfortable holding a baby but that's my issue, i don't think their baby is awful or anything, it's just "me".
I didn't mean problem in the way you are inferring.

Thanks for clarifying. I do feel though, that if someone gets upset that someone else doesn't want to hold their baby, they should grow a thicker skin and realise that some people just aren't keen on babies, to put it bluntly. I just get irked by the societal pressure on people to hold other people's babies, women in particular.

SelectAUserName · 10/06/2014 14:30

Sad kitteh says "don't haz the fights, laydeez. MOAR KITTEHS!"

WIBU to not hold the baby?
BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 10/06/2014 14:32

The internet: Porn, kittens, and wannabe comedians.

trufflesnout · 10/06/2014 14:33

Litha please go back and read a post where I copied and pasted stuff in for you. I honestly think you misunderstood. The questions you asked weren't related to anything I had posted hence everyone's confusion.

In other news, I've picked which one I want.

WIBU to not hold the baby?
OP posts:
Actifizz · 10/06/2014 14:33

Cheezeburgers?

HeadfirstForHalos · 10/06/2014 14:35

Here, there's a kitten for everyone to cuddle

WIBU to not hold the baby?
LithaR · 10/06/2014 14:35

Lol ok. Felt like a bit of trolling. It's what happens when the only daytime tv i have to watch is Judge Judy.

Tbh as long as you don't go around punching babies, I doubt not holding them is such a criminal offence to get so worked up about.

trufflesnout · 10/06/2014 14:36

LOL.

Tbh as long as you don't go around punching babies

OP posts:
LithaR · 10/06/2014 14:39

Ironically enough, I used to be in an online gaming group that joked about eating babies. I suppose that's worse than not holding them. Also the internet always needs moar kitty pics.

OTheHugeManatee · 10/06/2014 14:45

Oh! So LithaR was only a troll?

LithaR · 10/06/2014 14:49

Sorry to disappoint :P

Bit out of practice these days though Blush

trufflesnout · 10/06/2014 14:50

I feel confused. And violated.

OP posts:
HeadfirstForHalos · 10/06/2014 14:50

As random as it got, I'm glad you started this thread trufflesnout. It's nice to know I'm not the only mother who doesn't melt over babies. I'm enjoying being a mum far more now my youngest is 6 and the baby phase is behind us.

TobyLerone · 10/06/2014 14:53

CALLED IT.

LithaR · 10/06/2014 14:54

Sowwy op

I'll share my biscuit with you Grin

Lweji · 10/06/2014 14:57

This thread is probably responsible for a dip in production in offices everywhere

It's a bank holiday for me but lunch was delayed. Blush

Although it was also partly because DS, 9, wanted a cuddle and to sit on my lap. (true story - he is slightly poorly) I'll hold my child, baby or not.

HeadfirstForHalos · 10/06/2014 14:57

Right, suppose I'd better go and collect the uterine vomit from school Grin

trufflesnout · 10/06/2014 14:59

You can't... you can't all just leave me with Litha ffs.

OP posts:
OTheHugeManatee · 10/06/2014 15:01

My favourite is still 'crotch-fruit' Grin

Larimarbleu · 10/06/2014 15:02

I was very maternal towards my own babies and was a dab hand at cooking a meal, ironing, (you name i)t whilst holding a newborn at the same time - as you do.
But, when it comes to holding other people's newborns, I'm all fingers and thumbs and don't feel comfortable. And I would prefer not to hold them.
Does that make me a 'baby hater'?

wintertimeisfun · 10/06/2014 15:02

YWDNBU i feel exactly the same as you. i don't like holding other people's babies either. no specific reason, i just don't. i wouldn't worry about it. you went to visit & you said you said the odd nice thing, enough already!

Lweji · 10/06/2014 15:02

LithaR, get your lithium fast.

slithytove · 10/06/2014 15:15

Brilliant thread Grin

gnushoes · 10/06/2014 15:31

Crotch-fruit?
Wow. Must try that one on DS who is horrified they are doing sex ed in school this week.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 10/06/2014 15:32

YOU ALL HATES BABYZ, BAD WOMIN!!!!!!! Angry

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