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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to not hold the baby?

392 replies

trufflesnout · 08/06/2014 20:43

I don't think I was BU, but since I made a new mother look wounded today, I'm wondering if I was unreasonable or if she was being precious it was definitely her.

I was visiting a relative who has just happened to give birth recently. I'm not maternal at all and don't particularly enjoy being around small children (apart from my own daughter, who is perfect, obviously) but I don't tend to announce it to people since whenever I have I've been viewed as odd at best.

Even though the visit wasn't all about the baby, I paid the small pink loud thing a compliment or two for the mother's sake, as I thought it would be polite to do so since it had pretty much just emerged from her body. I think I must have shot myself in the foot with the two counts of prompted, generic praise, as at one point in the visit she asked if I would like to hold the baby.

I said politely and with a smile, "oh, no thank you".

She looked at me like I had just caved its face in with a toothpick. The conversation moved in and she didn't offer again thank God.

Was I horrendously rude in declining the offer to hold her baby?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
Lweji · 10/06/2014 14:07

Give up, Head. It's gone past a normal conversation. :)

Lweji · 10/06/2014 14:09

moving too fast for me Shock

trufflesnout · 10/06/2014 14:09

WAAAAAAAAY PAST.

OP posts:
LithaR · 10/06/2014 14:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HeadfirstForHalos · 10/06/2014 14:11

"If you're not maternal and have next to no maternal instinct, why did you have a child of your own? Hopefully you keep the fact that you're not maternal out of earshot of your own child... "

I'm not particularly maternal (or at least not the stereotype of maternal) but I love my dc, i meet their needs and we rub along together just nicely thank you. In fact, my dc think I'm a rather cool mum. Wink

trufflesnout · 10/06/2014 14:12

Congratulations Op on becoming a poster child for abortion.

It truly is an honour but I think you have massively misunderstood. Please RTFT to soothe your concerns that I do not want the destruction of all uterine vomit (nicely put) and I send congratulations to your child on getting to age ?.

OP posts:
AbbeyBartlet · 10/06/2014 14:14

Congratulations Op on becoming a poster child for abortion.

Fuck me, this is getting weirder by the second!!! Shock

TobyLerone · 10/06/2014 14:14

Well, THAT escalated quickly!

CatsCantTwerk · 10/06/2014 14:15

LithaR WTAF ?

HeadfirstForHalos · 10/06/2014 14:15

Um, litha, you're not sounding totally maternal yourself with the vile shite you're posting.

Only1scoop · 10/06/2014 14:15

Me to....so glad to hear I'm not the only unmaternal mother doing a banging job without so much as a broody thought .... I've always suprised myself Grin

I can make the right noises for your newborns but no holding....nooooo mamma Wink

Lweji · 10/06/2014 14:15

LithaR
What are you on?
Is your child safe?

DeepThought · 10/06/2014 14:16

Uterine vomit?

BOGGLE

TobyLerone · 10/06/2014 14:17

Um, litha, you're not sounding totally maternal sane yourself with the vile shite you're posting.

SelectAUserName · 10/06/2014 14:17

Oh stop, I'm doing that weird suppressed-snorty laugh thing now and it's hurting my nose.

fledermaus · 10/06/2014 14:17

Has anyone mentioned the Nazis yet?

voiceofgodot · 10/06/2014 14:17

Head - well I think that's it isn't it. Having maternal instinct does not mean you are expected to like all babies. Which is what the OP conflated it with. Maternal instinct is what drives us to procreate and to nurture our own children. Other people's children... well, meh.

Loads of people don't like babies. Most people don't have an assumption that 'all women must like babies'. It's no biggie. But the OP seems to be enjoying her role as The Outsider somewhat...

trufflesnout · 10/06/2014 14:18

Whenever I worry that I am unusual for not particularly enjoying the company of small children, that people might find me odd or think that I have psychological issues, or that my daughter is at risk of feeling unloved, I will always have the knowledge that at least LithaR is LithaR and maybe I'm okay.

OP posts:
LithaR · 10/06/2014 14:18

I read the full thread. There is no post that indicates your location of visitation. Maybe you should take some classes on compression skills as well as social skills :)

Actifizz · 10/06/2014 14:18

Shit just got WEEEEEIRD man Shock

trufflesnout · 10/06/2014 14:18

Has anyone mentioned the Nazis yet?

No. And no UKIP yet either.

OP posts:
SelectAUserName · 10/06/2014 14:19

compression skills

Waaaahahahahahahahaha!

Rearrange this well known saying: hoist, petard, own, your, with.

DeepThought · 10/06/2014 14:19

What are compression skills?

HippyTea · 10/06/2014 14:20

"UGH, that's disCUSTING! Get thy wrinkly beetroot beast away from me, whore of Satan!"

Wheres the I just choked on my fucking tea crying with laughter smiley?

Congratulations Op on becoming a poster child for abortion.

Congratulations Lewj on winning the Biscuit trophy

MilkandCereal · 10/06/2014 14:20

I see The Crazy Train has arrived at Mumsnet station,stopping at Hysteriaville and Hyperbole square along the way,with a derailment at WTAF Hill.

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