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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to not hold the baby?

392 replies

trufflesnout · 08/06/2014 20:43

I don't think I was BU, but since I made a new mother look wounded today, I'm wondering if I was unreasonable or if she was being precious it was definitely her.

I was visiting a relative who has just happened to give birth recently. I'm not maternal at all and don't particularly enjoy being around small children (apart from my own daughter, who is perfect, obviously) but I don't tend to announce it to people since whenever I have I've been viewed as odd at best.

Even though the visit wasn't all about the baby, I paid the small pink loud thing a compliment or two for the mother's sake, as I thought it would be polite to do so since it had pretty much just emerged from her body. I think I must have shot myself in the foot with the two counts of prompted, generic praise, as at one point in the visit she asked if I would like to hold the baby.

I said politely and with a smile, "oh, no thank you".

She looked at me like I had just caved its face in with a toothpick. The conversation moved in and she didn't offer again thank God.

Was I horrendously rude in declining the offer to hold her baby?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
CatsCantTwerk · 10/06/2014 14:20

Compression Skills? Confused

coffeeinbed · 10/06/2014 14:20

LithaR

There was joke, you didn't get it.
No need to get quite so worked up about it.

HippyTea · 10/06/2014 14:20

ahhh wrong poster...

SelectAUserName · 10/06/2014 14:20

S'not Lweji, it's Litha!

SelectAUserName · 10/06/2014 14:21

Grin Grin Grin Milk

TobyLerone · 10/06/2014 14:21

Compression skills has just made me wake my own small crotchfruit with a giant 'HA!'

Litha, you are a comedy genius :o

trufflesnout · 10/06/2014 14:23

Litha you are the only person to assume that I was in a maternity ward. If you were unsure of the location of my baby-hating, why didn't you ask?

I've copied and pasted some information in that you must have missed in your R'ingTFT.

If you don't like other peoples uterine vomit, you don't arrange a visit to an expectant mother. If the visit was to see her mother, you entertain yourself whilst the mother visits the baby.

re. why did I even visit the baby... that's already been covered. The visit wasn't about the baby. I didn't even know she'd had it tbh, just turned up as we'd organised a few weeks prior. She's a relative but not a particularly close one (wife of a cousin) and my mother is senile 60 odd and healthy and forgot to tell me.

I have no idea where you got the mother comment. I can only assume you got confused when I mentioned that my mother (the link between me and cousin's side of family) had forgotten to mention that NewMum had had the baby (I spoke to her recently, I said "I thought you were going to tell me when NewMum popped it out", she said "oh I thought I did. I always love telling people when a new uterine vomit has arrived. I'm sure I did". She hadn't).

OP posts:
Lweji · 10/06/2014 14:23

I am now leaving in a huff.

You are all discusting. Particularly Hippy.

OTheHugeManatee · 10/06/2014 14:23

Is it time for another kitten yet? (clue: of course it is.)

WIBU to not hold the baby?
AbbeyBartlet · 10/06/2014 14:24

LithaR
What are you on?
Is your child safe?

Definitely needs to be an smiley for pissing myself laughing so hard that people are starting to realise that I may not be working very hard....

Lweji · 10/06/2014 14:24

Having said that, if the Biscuit is an Oreo, I'll take it.

AbbeyBartlet · 10/06/2014 14:25

OTheHuge Squeeeeeeeee!

trufflesnout · 10/06/2014 14:25

Also this entire thread people have been saying things like "how can you not like babies, everyone loves kittens!" OF COURSE EVERYONE FUCKING LOVES KITTENS FFS DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

OP posts:
LithaR · 10/06/2014 14:25

And i used that description from a previous post from the op. So you are welcome to credit it to myself but I don't deserve the recognition.

I'm guessing some others haven't read the full thread. Personally I love children and babies and yet tried to relate to the op. She decided to hit out, I hit back.

Posting an op like this, asking for opinions yet being all bitchy to those against you, is something that bugs me. So the majority hate babies, the minority get jumped on by the op and paranoid feminazis.

Strangely ironic for a mother and baby site.

AbbeyBartlet · 10/06/2014 14:25

Nah, I think its a Jammy Dodger, Lweji Sad

CatsCantTwerk · 10/06/2014 14:26

I have no idea how many orders I have sent out wrong today due to this thread Grin

MilkandCereal · 10/06/2014 14:26

'I read the full thread. There is no post that indicates your location of visitation. Maybe you should take some classes on compression skills as well as social skills'

You're right! She didn't actually say where she met the mother. It could have been on a tightrope above the Lions Den at London Zoo! That's it,isn't it? You invited them to your high wire den of death with the intention that both mother and child should meet their demise. How could you do such a thing to an innocent baby.not one of those shifty eyed guilty fuckers,but an INNOCENT baby! You child murdering bastard!

AbbeyBartlet · 10/06/2014 14:26

So the majority hate babies, the minority get jumped on by the op and paranoid feminazis

Now HERE'S the Nazi reference which everyone has been waiting for....

OTheHugeManatee · 10/06/2014 14:26

Au contraire, trufflesnout.

I have been saying 'Why on earth would anyone want to hold a baby when there are KITTENS in the world???'

HeadfirstForHalos · 10/06/2014 14:27

Yeah, everyone loves kittens, the internet was invented to share kitten memes with the world, not to share baby pics.

OTheHugeManatee · 10/06/2014 14:27

PS

WIBU to not hold the baby?
TobyLerone · 10/06/2014 14:27

Irony: I do not think it means what you think it means.

AbbeyBartlet · 10/06/2014 14:27

CatsCant This thread is probably responsible for a dip in production in offices everywhere today!

TwinkleTwinkleStarlight · 10/06/2014 14:28

Said with care and the greatest respect... Could the reason behind your well let's not dress it up bitterness toward babies (because refusing to hold the baby could be seen as bitterness) be because your subconciosly want another child and you could be somewhat do I dare say envious.
I understand not every women coos over babies, but surely it's basic manners to play the part. Did anyone refuse to hold your D.D and if they did. How/did would you feel. Be honest. x

I have seriously heard it all now Confused

AbbeyBartlet · 10/06/2014 14:29

How could you do such a thing to an innocent baby.not one of those shifty eyed guilty fuckers,but an INNOCENT baby!

Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin

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