To think that vagina is not the only word for it?

[superstarheartbreaker]

Dd and I call it a noo noo or foo foo. She is 4. Lots of people say that vagina is the only acceptable term but it sounds so clinical. At this age I think noo noo is fine...and cute.I dont even call it a vagina.

I can't imagine many people would " follow it up " if a little girl said someone had played with her fairy! Most people would assume it was a toy.

If children had words that people know, then surely that is easier all round?

Surely an adult knows that if a child says they have hurt their 'fairy' that the adult knows it is not a known bodypart and amazingly through a process of elmination they realise it is their genitals, and may check by asking the child to point.

Andsmile the idea that girls would only need to reference their genitals when with the doctor or because of abuse is a bit odd. They have plenty of reasons to reference them, it is a part of their body! Boys talk about their Willie's quite a bit ime.

Is all of this because females aren't supposed to be aware of their bits somehow? Are they not supposed to talk about them?

ERM no a fairy is a toy/picture and a flower is a flower.

If you think most adults go around proving for child abuse when children use perfectly normal words then you are a bit deluded I think.

An adult who is unaware that fairy can mean vulva is not going to start quizzing a child on what may sound utterly innocuous.

Good autocorrect this is a nightmare! Sorry for lack of clarity in posts.

Look at it the other way - why shouldnt we teach children (especially girls) the correct terms. Vagina and vulva are not "rude" and are universally recognised as what they are in (the English language). As there is no other universally recognised term (as there is for most other body parts) what exactly is the problem with using vagina/vulva?

Why complicate matters by using random cutesy words?

Yes, I do not read into every single thing a child says. Half the time they say nonsense that means nothing. When you do ask for clarification they normally don't give it, or they give a more confusing answer, and go back to playing.

Laptop now should be better!

What I am getting at, is that people who don't know that fairy/flower/noonoo means vulva, are going to get confused when the child references that.

eg
child
I hurt my fairy yesterday
adult
oh dear where is she now, did you leave her at home? I hope she's really better
child

OTOH an adult who does use that is also going to get confused
child
I hurt my fairy yesterday
adult
oh dear that's terrible how did you do it, are your knickers comfy i hope it's not too bad
child
and

Why not just give names which people are actually going to know what's going on so they don't end up talking at cross purposes.

I find the idea that girls must only mention their vulva because of child abuse or when they are at the doctor bizarre. Like I say boys talk about willies loads. Is this whole thing to do with an idea about women's parts as unmentionables that is refusing to go away. So much of this is mind-bogglingly euphemistic.

love you seem to have a very narrow view of communication - the whole picture would be the childs demeanour and any other information disclosed like who, when and where. If the childs behaviour has altered or they exhibit behaviours that dont fall within the normal range of sexual behaviours for the age group.

eg my DDs have had cause to talk vulva due to

uncomfortable knicker issues
the occasional itch
injury there (walking into table etc)
and teh little one who likes to take her knickers off and then splay her legs

Lots of times when a word for a girls' "privates" (there's one everyone would understand!) need a name so that communication can be had!

andsmile why are you focussing on child abuse?

That is much rarer than for eg a child hurting themselves or having uncomfortable clothes or something.

Can you explain WHY it is a good idea for a child to be taught a word that very few people will understand, rather than one that they will?

For the squeamish, there are plenty of choices, which the majority will still "get". Why then choose something that means something else or is really random. Why???

If a child said they had hurt their fairy you would assume genitals as other body parts have the same name. Genital names depend on the family.

This is exactly the problem and why we need a female equivalent term of willy. It shouldn't depend on the family, or the town, all this does is cause confusion. There's no need to be so coy about a body part found in half the population.

And while we're on about age-appropriate words we have grown women using words like mini and tuppence!
My mind is boggled.

And I still maintain that many adults hearing a child say in passing "so and so was playing with my fairy" are NOT going to think oh shit that doesn't sound good, because they will have NO IDEA that a fairy is not a, well, fairy. If they hear a child say someone was playing with their privates, fanny, front bottom, or any of the number of widely used euphamisms then that is going to be quite obvious!

WHY do people choose names they know that lots of other people won't understand?

Is it because of this insistence now that girls have no need to talk about their genitals in daily life? I thought we were trying to move away from the whole unmentionables idea about female reproductive organs etc

You know what Love I have yet to start potty training my DD and havnt assigned any such names. its all just bottom and nappy at the moment. She is 2. So it is is making me think. Like I said up thread DS used mr pee pee as that was functional. He now ueses willy or privates - he kind of got these from school/peers I think.

I suppose chld abuse as for me that is where it is very important the child is heard correctly rather than uncomfortable clothing. The former carries greater consequences for not being heard. I suppose because ive spent years being trained in CP that POV to the fore of my mind.

I didnt realise you could only take part in a discussion on a thread unless you addressed it from all angles.

Yes but if you heard a child say a word that is not in use in your family / area, then you would miss it.

So if you heard a child say, grandpa likes to play with my teddy bear, then you would think, oh that's nice, if you bothered thinking anything of it at all.

Surely aside from the anatomically correct / or not conversation, it is common sense to pick a word or phrase that most other people will understand? Like front bottom or fanny or girly bits.

A child wittering on about a hahoo or a wibble or whatever, just why would you do that? You are limiting their ability to communicate, for others to understand them.

And what happens when a child says fairy or flower and means fairy or flower - and gets subjected to careful questioning by a concerned adult, who will be speaking to the child at total cross purposes and leave everyone utterly confused.

shit eatshitderek your fanny can actually roar

I may have been nown to refer to my genitals in many different ways depending on the context I dont use my dirty talk reference for example when visiting the GP.

andsmile so when you give your child a name for her genitals, given your background in child protection, are you really telling me that you would be just as keen to tell her the word was her cuddle, and leave it at that, or would you choose something a bit more widely recognised?

And of course girls need to be able to reference their privates in a way that gets them understood, same as boys can with their willy! It is a body part FGS, of course things will come up that if they have a readily understood word, that will make it easier for them to communicate.

Love will you not fucking ackowledge context is everything.