To think that vagina is not the only word for it?

[superstarheartbreaker]

Dd and I call it a noo noo or foo foo. She is 4. Lots of people say that vagina is the only acceptable term but it sounds so clinical. At this age I think noo noo is fine...and cute.I dont even call it a vagina.

If a child told me someone had touched their flower I would say that's nice dear and wander off. Just because some of you know all these terms doesn't mean everyone does. Not all adults do know all these terms by a long chalk.

I wish there was a well known "friendly" equivalent of Willy, but there isn't. I'm not sure why that is.

Does anyone have any idea why boys get a widely used socially acceptable word and girls get a huge range of random ones?

Doess it come from girls and women not being supposed to talk about their genutals or something?

If a child came to you and talked about their twinkle, foof, fanny, tuppence, flower, mini, bits, noonoo, foofoo, willy etc...you'd know exactly what they were talking about. They don't have to say the word 'vagina' or 'penis' so that others understand.

Yes, but what about different cultures that have different nicknames? What if a person was from a different country or hadn't heard that particular slang before? Or what if a child was from a different country and their parents used common slang from there?

Over here we have names that are also common objects, like: Cookie, biscuit, kitty, etc.. If a child came up and said someone was petting their kitty, it wouldn't register as alarming.

But giving a nickname gives the added problem that it gives the mentality that privates are not to be talked about and are embarrassing to discuss which could also deter a child from talking to an adult.

I think disclosure from very small children would not be as some people consider and so having no universal term would not make a whole lot of difference. I doubt very much anything would be missed because x called her vulva her flower.

Ordinary people I think it means rather than professionals. I expect professionals have some kind of list.

Mine have got 'tuppences' lol I know, it's dreadful, but it was easy when they were little. The ds's have got willies. As the eldest dd has grown, I explained the 'proper' word was vagina once, whilst trying not to visibly cringe. Trust me, a car-load of children in a car-park all shouting VAGINA! is enough to make you want to use tuppence. Or whatever. LOL

Dd is seven and they're doing this at school at the minute. We say ' bits' she's been taught vagina. I've explained what a vagina is and now she's confused. As a result were going to buy' the' book! She did ask if she can still say bits and I said that would be fine. As an adult I am quite capable of using the correct words but would prefer dd to use what she's comfortable with.

It's willy and tuppence in this house and my ds are teenagers. They know what the proper terminology is but we don't need to use at home if we don't want to. As long as there is no tones of shame or embarrassment attached to the 'grown up ' words I don't see a problem with using informal terms

The 'newly arrived foreign household child' scenario is also a problem in that they might use the totally correct anatomical term in their native language and still not be understood.

No list that Im aware of lovesardines

One of my children has a toy that she has named one of the things on that list. I had no idea until just now that she had called her toy a name that some people would take to mean that.

So if she told someone that her sister was playing with her toy and she didn't like it, they would alert authorities if that was the word they used?

There should be an equivalent of Willy, why on earth isn't there. Are female parts seen as more embarrassing or something?

Some of these names are so ridiculous, Wtf 'flower'? And mini? I don't mind an everyday word as long as correct words are also known. But not words like flower, what will they think when people are talking about buying flowers or all these flowers in the garden!
Also at people not wanting their children to say vulva as if it's a rude word.

Bum bum means bum though.

Flower to me means flower. Well until this thread.

I really don't think that the average adult is vigilant that children might be using perfectly normal words to mean other things when they do not know that.

My grandsons say willy but know penis. The girls say 'girly bits' but know their vulvas from their vaginas (aged 11 to 15).

From the very first post I wondered how long it would take for the vagina vs vulva pedants to wade in

I don't think that it is an issue in the slightest if a child uses a pet name for their bits. I've never called my vulva a vulva, however I know what it is, and have done so most of my life.

People in child protection maybe need to be more aware of the context a child is speaking, and make an effort to learn other cultures's terminology rather than berate parents who allow their children to use the term foof. IMHO.

But it's not to do with child abuse its too do with giving children vocabulary that others can understand.

If a child hurts themselves a bit can say it's his Willy and the adult will know where. A girl saying noonoo or mini might well not be understood and have to go through a rigmarole of trying to explain with words she hasn't got and pointing. Which will make them feel a bit confused as to why aren't they understood and stuff

The thing about very young children disclosing abuse, is that for eg. a 4 year old is unlikely to take their teacher/nursery nurse aside and say "I have to tell you something that is bothering me - Uncle Pete keeps touching my flower/twinkle/biscuit". It's much more likely to be a throwaway comment or something that comes up in play. An adult is more likely to start listening closely if a child is playing with dolls and says "bad baby, don't touch the vagina/vulva/fanny" than "don't touch the noonoo/flower" iyswim.

Eminy the first person a child tells may well not have child protection training though.

Why are there so many euphemisms? Are female genitals really that much more unmentionable than men's? If there was an equivalent of Willy everting would be much easier.

I love these threads. There's always at least one smug 'I think you mean vulva' post. I swear certain thread topics should come with MN bingo cards, to make it less tedious.

I used a cutesy name for my genitals when I was a kid. As an adult I am fully aware of the correct names for my anatomy and how it all works. I've suffered no long term effects whatsoever.

DSD says noo noo and when DD can talk I'm sure she'll use the same. (I don't actually like noo noo, I'd rather just say 'privates' or 'bits' or something more generic but noo noo pre-dated me.)

I think most educated people will know what a child is referring to if they say flower or mini or noonoo or whatever.
Considering genitals are really the only body part children give ambiguous names to (a tummy is a tummy, a bum is a bum etc to a high majority I'm sure) the context should be pretty clear.

So for those who use euphemisms, if you heard my dd say that daddy was playing with her noonoo and she didn't like it, what would you do?

Isn't noonoo the hoover from Teletubbies?