To think that vagina is not the only word for it?

[superstarheartbreaker]

Dd and I call it a noo noo or foo foo. She is 4. Lots of people say that vagina is the only acceptable term but it sounds so clinical. At this age I think noo noo is fine...and cute.I dont even call it a vagina.

It's not pedantic to point out wilful misuse of words

If I kept calling a horse a giraffe I expect you'd say 'actually it's a horse'

I am amazed by all the posters saying there's no femaleequivalent of willy.

Surely the most common term (in the UK at least) is fanny? I have lived in the north and the south of england and have Scottish relatives and I have never heard it called any of these other names?

yeah well some objects unforntunately have more than one name.

Women for example have many 'labels'. I dont think the police officer is mistaken when the rapist finally snaps and says 'the bitch was askin for it' who they are referring to.

Shevel thats just a poor example and does not reflect the richness and diversity of the English language.

You cannot judge and interpret a childs language through to the same as that of an adult.

As a result of the Bulger case there was much research carried out that informed new policy guildlines about how children should be handled (whether perpetrators or victims) in the legal system - it recognised that children percieve, experience, and communicate differently to adults and therefore need to be treated in a very different way to adults.

Anywa it doesnt matter if the its called 'fido' if a child says to an adult 'someone touched my fido' and looks upset, surely ay responsible adult would ask can you point.what do you mean depending on the age of the child. If a child indicates someone has touched them anywhere enough to make them fee unconfortable and to be telling an adult, they should be listened to.

I think there is way too much emphasis being places on possible quite young children to have a command of langauge that is not essential because it suits some clear cut adult defintion of what a part of the body is.

I think the point about the child knowing it is private and not to be touched or part of a game is way more important than names given to their genatalia. Also abou equiping them with the knowledge and skills about speaking up, who to trust and go to if they are troubled in anyway

A woman is not an object!

And referring to a woman as "that bitch" is not the same as eg a child saying their fairy is hurt.

Everyone will understand the first, not many the second.

Why chose such an offensive example though. That bitch? That feels really incongruous on this thread!

Yes and bringing rapists into it as well.

Anyway.

Can anyone explain what the purpose is in giving children words for things that they know many other people will not understand. I genuinely don't get that.

Andsmile so if I tell my children incorrect and made up words for all their body parts that is fine?

It's not is it, no one would teach their child that their foot was called a from and their nose was called a big. Nexus generally when we teach children to talk we do it so they can be understood when they communicate!

I find this while topic really odd.

Nose was blig there, autocorrect changed it!

I agree - women are not objects. The sentence doesn't actually immediately follow it. It is seperated by a line, therefore not related to the preceding statement about objects.

Well the OP started a thread about names for female genitals I used women as an example because it was just what came to mind as there are lots of labels applied to women.

Noo noo or foo foo give me the dry boke.

making up false information such as; not giving the correct names will hinder a child sexual abuse case is really harmful.

But it's not false information. It may be clear to someone that has training for safeguarding and what to look for. But to the layman who doesn't have experience with it, they may not know to report it. It's not once the case is being investigated that the kid needs to know the right terms, it's getting it to be initially reported that they should.

School officials having training is all well and good, but what about adults that have no training?

A case can't be investigated if no one knows to report it. Especially with the hostility people get for making an SS report. Someone made a thread about a potential child carer and everyone flipped their shit because the OP was potentially attacking the mother and that you couldn't just make an SS report based on a loose suspicion. That's a very scary and frankly ignorant attitude that most people have.

Could you imaging if someone went on MN and said "Johnny said someone played peek a boo with his boo. When I asked him what he meant he just shrugged, got quiet, then went back to playing like normal. Should I report it?" There would be 12 pages of MN freaking out toting out stories about how SS is "traumatizing" to the parents and that people are getting hysterical over nothing. The OP would get flamed to high hell with hysterical MNers screaming that accusing a person of being a pedophile could ruin their life. God forbid they make a quick report just in case. In fact, I don't even think SS would realistically investigate based on that information. Most people wouldn't report it for fear of making a false report.

Now if Johnny went and said "someone played peek a boo with my penis" Bam. Black and white. Report it. SS would be there like a fly on shit.

So don't act like the incorrect names don't hinder a child getting help right away, because it does.

And smile a better example might be someone saying "that car over there" and meaning woman, or "that bisnixon".

In that it's words being used that have very defined meanings or are totally random.

many other people will not understand - context and other non verbal behaviours are very important if a child is mkaing a disclosure.

bringing rape into it well no it's not nice but neither is child abuse. They both happen.

And still no one has said why they teach their children a word for something that they know lots of people will not understand. It just makes no sense.

Eg I don't like the words fanny or front bottom but at least I know what they are talking about. Flower / noonoo not so much, not even at all.

Isn't communication the point of language?

Does anyone here really actually think that an experienced child interviewer isn't going to follow up "grandad put his finger in my fairy" with "what is your fairy" ? Really ?

But child abuse is one end of the scale. Children need to be able to refer to their body parts for other reasons as well.

Why not give them words that are going to be widely understood? I don't understand, I really don't. What I'd the purpose/reason?

Surely the most common term (in the UK at least) is fanny? I have lived in the north and the south of england and have Scottish relatives and I have never heard it called any of these other names?

Fanny is way "ruder" than willy though. More equivalent to dick or cock.

Career no but a family member might not understand "my fairy got a hurt" and then have a chat about about it, like if they said "my finger got a hurt.

Why put barriers in the way of communication?

You may have a point about the example name you used princess but I would add any parent who didnt follow that up would be neglecting to check that is was just an innocent game or otherwise.

There was a parent on here about year ago who had suspicions about her exP. She asked school to help and they did and they referred. I call that parent responsible.

If there was an equivalent of Willy, we'd all be using it and this thread and all the others would not exist.

The fact that there isn't is quite telling, although I'm not sure what it means. All these euphemisms.

But aside from child abuse, what about ordinary conversations with people who aren't trained in child protection?

If my dd catches herself on a table or something and then later tells granny she was hurt, I wasn't granny to know what she's on about!

Can anyone tell me what the purpose is of giving children words that they know will not be generally understood? Why do people do that? It makes no sense to me.

Mini is the most common term used in my town.

I don't see a problem with that. I remember going to Cheshire and reading a menu at a fish and chippy and not knowing what a batch was. The locals in there didn't half give me some strange looks!

Aside from abuse the only other situation they need to refer to their genitals is for a medical reason. So this could be to a teacher, parent or doctor. I think they will 'get it' to say they wouldn't is insulting.

As the child grows older, labels used are more sexualised as they become aware of other uses for their genitalia. - yes I have first hand experience of hearing teen talk in this way. Some parents would be shocked by the langauge used which can be very explicit referring to what they have done, who with and what they want to do.

Yes, but what about kids that still live with their abuser? Most kids are abused by one or both parents. Alot of children have told the other parent and they didn't believe them or minimized what was going on.

An outside person can't talk to the school and ask them to follow it up. They could, but the school won't go off vague info from someone who doesn't know the child very well, or they report it to SS to look into and SS will decide there's just not enough information to get an agent out.