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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think not being able to drive puts you at a disadvantage?

284 replies

Sparklingbrook · 06/06/2014 12:07

Just been chatting to a friend. Her daughter is 17 and although they can afford for her to have lessons, and she is able to she isn't going to bother learning to drive.

I was thinking about all the things I wouldn't have been able to do if I couldn't drive. For a start DS1 wouldn't be at the school he is, and the jobs I had I couldn't have got to by public transport.

I know she could learn in the future but surely it's easier to do it when young and a bit fearless?

I know it's none of my business too, but I hope my two DSs will be able to learn when the time comes.

OP posts:
SolidGoldBrass · 07/06/2014 19:14

I think it would be better if those who whine about other people refusing to drive devoted some of their energy to campaigning for better public transport. Some people portray the car free as timid or lazy, but I think it's the car fetishists who are the wusses - they are often frightened of the dark or of using public transport in case they have to sit next to someone common or something.

Nectar · 07/06/2014 19:33

Can I just make a point, as a non-driver? I've lost count of the number of people who've told me they can't imagine being without a car, why don't I get myself a small run-around for day-to-day use, don't I find my children miss out on things, what do I do about school runs when it's tipping down etc!

When I tell them the money I've spent on driving lessons and failed tests has probably run into thousands and I still can't drive, I've actually been laughed at and felt very humiliatedSad

The reason I can't is because I'm dyspraxic, have always struggled with spatial awareness, hand/eye co-ordination, judging distances etc so it's something I will probably never achieve. I have plenty of other skills, music, art, cooking etc but driving is not one of them.

As a family we don't miss out, between public transport, taxis and cycling we do a lot, and the kids attend everything they want to go to, without us relying on other people.

I've come to terms with the fact I won't be a driver, but please all you confident drivers out there, just think twice before you tell someone to just take their test again, have more lessons, relax, persevere etc. It sometimes isn't that easy. It's like asking a dyslexic person to proof-read a long document, it's probably something that just isn't achievable!

Sorry if this is a bit of a rant, but I've found a lot of people just don't understand and can be patronising about it.

Trojanhouse · 07/06/2014 20:05

If I didn't know how to drive, I would not have the job that I have now
I can't understand why people would not want to learn to drive.

Phineyj · 07/06/2014 20:24

I understand how you feel Nectar. I did pass on my 4th go, but it took me way longer than anyone else I know. I found it a really difficult skill to acquire. However, I'm glad I did start trying when I was 17 as I reckon if I'd tried to learn later I'd never have managed it. I still refuse to drive strange cars or in other countries unless there's absolutely no option.

Suzannewithaplan · 07/06/2014 20:35

If I didn't know how to drive, I would not have the job that I have now, I can't understand why people would not want to learn to drive

other people are not you, your conclusion does not logically follow from your premise!

shockinglybadteacher · 07/06/2014 20:43

Nectar it is the same for me. I cannot drive, it ain't happening, and it is dyspraxia and coordination.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 07/06/2014 21:00

Nectar my brother is dyspraxic and has never learnt to drive.

As I said up thread I do have a licence but I find it incredibly stressful to drive and have pretty much given up.

Preciousbane · 07/06/2014 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usualsuspectt · 08/06/2014 07:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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