To expect him to pay?

[AtSea1979]

This is going to sound terrible I know but for some reason I feel it.
Went on first date with a guy last week, paid £20 babysitter, and met him for drinks, we both bought a round.
He told me he had a lovely time and would I like to go out for dinner next week, I said yes.
Tonight, I paid babysitter another £20, and went out for meal, when bill came I got my purse out to pay (total £55) my half but then he put £30 down and I was surprised he didn't tell me to put my purse away. Even though I would have said no and paid half I still feel like he should have paid the full.
I know they are my kids and my responsibility but I still wonder whether I want to date someone again who is so tight.
AIB completely U? (and date I say, sexist?) Or would others feel similar?

Just because somebody offers to choose something doesn't mean that the other person is a doormat?! Unless its a man and then we are simpering females who can't pay our way.

A friend of mine took me out for dinner last summer when I was broke, looked at the wine menu, as part of the treat it was a very nice bottle of wine, quite expensive.

And tasting the wine is about making sure it isn't corked, not whether they like it or not isn't it?

You keep saying "coquettish" but women aren't necessarily being "coquettish". They are simply accepting the norms they have been brought up with.

But good for you if you have enough confidence to speak up. Or maybe it has never happened to you, in which case lucky for you.

Doormat?if one cant converse about the choice,or contribute but feel man should/must chise,yea thats passive.doormat

Boat.you said it annoyed you.annoyed,you clearly felt bit not included

tasting the wine is not to see if you like it

it is to see if it is corked.

If so you will be able to smell it before it gets near your mouth, although the ww should have spotted the mouldy cork already.

the taster sip is an affectation no performed in all countries.

I wouldn't let another adult chose my dinner,dessert,wine.id expect a dialogue
Not simply let man cause,cause well they know apparently know these things
No man or woman choses my food,or drinks

Depends how its done.

"we'll have the chardonnay'' without any discussion is wanky. I hate chardonnay.

'' do you like chenin blanc?'' Yes, then chooses one, not wanky.

I would not like somebody, friend or family or boyfriend choosing expensive wine without asking me if I would be footing half the bill.

I am gobsmacked to see there are so many women who expect men to pay for them on dates.

Still I guess its easy then for a man to establish what you are and your price.

If i were with another adult for meal id not expect them to chose my food,drinks
So id not confer that to a man,just well because he man.why would anyone do this

If i invite someone out for dinner/coffee/whatever i expect to pay. If i am invited somewhere i generally would anticipate being paid for (although have the means to pay and would make general motions of paying although expect to be rebuffed)

If you invite someone to something, you pay. It's common courtesy. Dh paid for our first date, if he hadn't he would have been unlikely to have taken me out again

If he hadn't paid,why was a 2nd date unlikely?

Still I guess its easy then for a man to establish what you are and your price

Yeah, i'm a total whore because i like being treated nicely by a romantic interest. I also like men opening doors for me. Shoot me

Wouldn't have got a second date if he hadn't paid for the first one.

Classic absolutely classic :)

I invite friends to luch.i dont pay their meal.never have.if they're expecting it theyre on plums

Because i don't like tight men (or tightness in anyone actually)

And we thing women have it hard. Fuck being a man with do many proud feminists who don't really believe in equality when it comes right down to it.

I don't understand the logic that the man should offer to pay to impress and make the woman feel special. What about making him feel special, or does that not count?

No.you expect to be paid for by man,because youre female
Do you expect female friends to pay for you?to ho,d that door open?
Or are you stuck on gender roles and desire for free fings cause you're a lady

You keep saying "coquettish" but women aren't necessarily being "coquettish". They are simply accepting the norms they have been brought up with

Very true. My mum has never paid for anything when we have been out as a family in living memory and my Dad is very traditional in his "men pay" views. Mum takes Dad our for his birthday - which he then pays for !

Whatever, scottish. You can put whatever words into my mouth you like. Make them into a haiku if you like. It really doesn't bother me

If youre uncomfortable with your own posts,thats your look out