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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you shouldn't get a full night's sleep if you have newborn quads

134 replies

ReputableBiscuit · 03/06/2014 20:26

This thing on ITV about Quads - the dad sleeps all night every night, while the mum and Grandma get 2 hours sleep a night in between feeding 4 babies. He's taking the piss, right? Apparently it's because he has to work in the morning. In sales, btw, not brain surgery.

OP posts:
antimatter · 03/06/2014 20:39

I sit near Sales team, they have new targets every quarter, it's very intense and stressful.

I think without good night sleep one can't do that kind of job well.
If he helps at weekends/evenings that's fine.
When My ex worked and I was SAHM that is how we divided our responsibilities.

weatherall · 03/06/2014 20:39

And her and her mum looking after quads all day isn't work??

He should be doing more IMO.

He is coming across as very critical and controlling.

The babies being fed and changed is more important than his job.

Writerwannabe83 · 03/06/2014 20:40

I'm recording this programme and plan to watch it tomorrow!!

TheFairyCaravan · 03/06/2014 20:40

And now they've lost the babies' luggage, Cake!

I think they deserve a lot of respect, I'd still be in my pyjamas, never mind Greece!

TheIronGnome · 03/06/2014 20:41

Critical and controlling?! What are you watching weatherall?!

ViviPru · 03/06/2014 20:41

OMG choked up...

ViviPru · 03/06/2014 20:42

No clue what programme wetherall is watching Confused

TheFairyCaravan · 03/06/2014 20:42

Really, Weatherall? How is he being critical and controlling?

FleurdeHeadLys · 03/06/2014 20:42

The babies being fed and changed is more important than his job.

Yes, those wages are absolutely no use when it comes to paying bills, are they??!!!

I think they're doing marvellously. I could barely string a sentence together with 1 never mind 4.

Itsfab · 03/06/2014 20:44

weatherall must be on the pop Hmm.

caruthers · 03/06/2014 20:46

Would you like him to tie a broom to his arse weatherall?

Bowlersarm · 03/06/2014 20:50

Grin @ Caruthers.

Can't wait to watch it tomorrow.

SocialMediaAddict · 03/06/2014 20:51

Having had newborn twins with a 3 year old (hell!) I have to say one of you has to get a nights sleep if you are going to work. DH would do nights at weekend but he absolutely had to sleep to survive his job.

Quads. I can't imagine. I found the first year hellish with twins. Sounds like quad dad is doing a lot.

TheNightIsDark · 03/06/2014 20:53

I think they're doing amazingly tbh. He seems to be pulling his weight, she seems a bit naieve (sp) though!

weatherall · 03/06/2014 20:55

He was criticising his pil's feeding technique and for putting a spoon in the wrong drawer!

But yes we live in a patriarchy where men's work is valued more than women's!

HavannaSlife · 03/06/2014 20:57

If he's up till after 12, putting the dinner on at 6 and cleaning up at 3 it doesn't seem to me that he is taking the piss.

Original poster
ReputableBiscuit · 03/06/2014 20:58

Ok I was BU, they are a good unit.

Now I'm wondering, how come both families with quads have pristine carpets?! I only had two and my carpet looked like a tortoiseshell cat.

OP posts:
ViviPru · 03/06/2014 21:00

I don't think anyone is saying 'men's work' is valued more. Simply that it is equally important that one parent (male or female) is holding down a job and providing a steady income (in addition to pulling their wight with the care when they can). If anything, those on the thread who agree with the OP are valuing the main carer's role more.

caruthers · 03/06/2014 21:01

What more would you like him to do weatherall?

Should he skip sleep and just keep his bloody mouth shut :)

They seem to be a strong family who have roles within that family unit and it's working for them and I commend them.

fancyanotherfez · 03/06/2014 21:02

I think we are all a bit naïve when we have children. I can't imagine having quads, especially first go. I was nearly demented with one!

Wetherall, I don't really think it is men's work being valued more than women's in this case. Presumably it was a joint decision for him to go back to work and her to stay at home (although that could be said to be a result of a general patriarchal system) . She won't be fired because she hadn't had any sleep and took her eye off the ball. He might be. They have to eat. She has her mum to pick up some of the slack. His employers presumably would be unlikely to cut him as much slack!

BumpNGrind · 03/06/2014 21:02

Weatherall, it sounds like you are reinforcing the patriarchy by calling it women's work and men's work. If the worse thing you can cite is that he's criticized a gp over a spoon and feeding you haven't spent enough time on aibu! The family all seem incredible and are really working as a team imo.

melissa83 · 03/06/2014 21:06

Just because you work you should still get up at least some of the feeds. It is a bit lazy otherwise.

ViviPru · 03/06/2014 21:09

Did you watch it, melissa? I'm surprised if you did and are of the view the guy is lazy.

idontlikealdi · 03/06/2014 21:13

I have twins and I cannot even contemplate what it would be like to have two lots of them. When mine were little DH did the 1030 feed and went and slept in the spare room. I then did the 2 and 6am ones, he would go to work and the three of us would go back to bed until around 9am.

It looked to me on the programme like he was helping out with the dream feed too.

idontlikealdi · 03/06/2014 21:14

Pressed send to soon.

I think they did what they had to do to survive that first year and I worked for them.

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