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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think you shouldn't get a full night's sleep if you have newborn quads

134 replies

ReputableBiscuit · 03/06/2014 20:26

This thing on ITV about Quads - the dad sleeps all night every night, while the mum and Grandma get 2 hours sleep a night in between feeding 4 babies. He's taking the piss, right? Apparently it's because he has to work in the morning. In sales, btw, not brain surgery.

OP posts:

melissa83 · 03/06/2014 21:15

Is he never ever doing night feeds? Even doing 12-6 sleep is a long time and nothing like getting up every 2 hrs.

Tinkerball · 03/06/2014 21:21

What a silly comment saying feeding and changing the quads is more important than Dads job....that will be the job then that provides a family income to buy the food and nappies!

OhYouBadBadKitten · 03/06/2014 21:27

If he couldn't do his job properly through sheer exhaustion and got sacked there would be people here calling them scroungers. To me they were doing a bloody good job and what amazing grandparents too.

Rather more than slightly bonkers to go to Athens no matter how compelling the reason but I think they learned.

I hope they do another one next year.

ThingsThatShine · 03/06/2014 21:32

It was not the dad who said he needs his full nights sleep and doesn't feel guilty for that. This was the FIL!

AtYourCervix · 03/06/2014 21:38

Who the bloody hell thought it would be a good idea to take 6 month old quads abroad? what on earth was the point? mental.

CoffeeTea103 · 03/06/2014 21:54

Weatherall you are delusional seriously.

CorporateRockWhore · 03/06/2014 21:58

I threw a tin of formula at my VERY helpful DH's head when DD was a week old. If the worst this guy does is grump about a spoon in the wrong place he deserves The Four Baby Award for Retaining His Sanity.

Whatevertheweather · 03/06/2014 21:58

What program is this? Sounds interesting

kali110 · 03/06/2014 22:01

Clearly he needs sleep if he has too work and i def dont think sales is an easy job! Hes not doing nothing, having income is kind of important to provide for the family.
Id say the same if it was the mother going to work.

Sirzy · 03/06/2014 22:09

Having watched the show they had found the best solution to a tough situation. It seemingly worked for them.

ScrambledEggAndToast · 03/06/2014 22:13

I thought their arrangement seemed quite fair tbh. He works all day, plus cooks the meal before work, then helps before bedtime. Not sure if they said what the weekend arrangements were as I missed a couple of minutes but I am assuming he just do extra then. If he is working full time, he is doing a lot and needs rest. I'm sure the mum and grandma must get some time for naps during the day.

Lucylouby · 03/06/2014 22:23

I they seemed to work really well as a family unit. Dad and grandad earning the wages, mum and grandmother looking after the babies and house and dad helping with the babies and cooking when he wasn't at work. He seemed anything but lazy, it seemed late at night when he said goodnight to his wife and then he was up at 6 to sort out the evening meal for everyone. I thought they did really well and as others have said it clearly worked for them.

I have no idea why they thought a mini beak to Greece was a good idea, but each to their own...

Pumpkinpositive · 03/06/2014 23:33

The babies being fed and changed is more important than his job.

Without that job, they might struggle to feed and change the babies at all.

Waltonswatcher1 · 03/06/2014 23:43

Not watched this so need to be careful here but , op YABU .
You have no idea how stressful sales jobs are - usually paid shit all til bonus kicks in .
What would your rant have been like if the dad had resigned and let the state pick up the bills ?
Um , weird thing that - reality tv and real life . Dodgy area to begin with .

trashcanjunkie · 03/06/2014 23:57

Hang on though, there is also the very vague possibility of her getting those babies into a routine where they sleep in the morning and afternoon, and so she could also catch up with her sleep then? Or she could feasibly put the babies in creche for three hours a day/every other day/whatever (which he could pay for) and she could nap then. Him working full time means he can't. I say this having not watched it yet, and as a mother of three, the last two being twins, and I was single, so I do have an inkling of what it can be like. Multiples can get into a good routine

parentalunit · 04/06/2014 00:12

It's TV. Doubt it's very much grounded in reality.

thegreylady · 04/06/2014 00:23

The trip to Greece was to return to the IVF clinic to show the babies to the doctor who did the procedure. The reunion was very touching.

balenciaga · 04/06/2014 00:25

Haha I said the same to dh

The Going off to bed, while his wife and elderly mum fed the babies sorry but omg what a cunt

Randomnessesses · 04/06/2014 00:28

I think it's ok midweek as long as he's hands on and enabling his wife to get some sleep even if his 12 - 6am is protected.

Friday and Saturday night is a totally different matter. He should take over those night to enable his wife to catch up.

whynowblowwind · 04/06/2014 00:28

You could just as easily say 'staying at home, while he goes off to work, what (fit in appropriate swear word.)'

He provides, they care. Two jobs: caring and providing.

wannaBe · 04/06/2014 00:32

there are some real idiots on this thread. I assume they would rather the dad gave up his job so they could all live on benefits but at least he would be doing some of the nighttime feeds eh. Or perhaps she should ltb and become a single parent...

whynowblowwind · 04/06/2014 00:34

So basically he should never, ever, get a proper nights sleep? Because 12-6 isn't a "proper" nights sleep. When I was up at 6 I needed to be asleep before 10.

I have a small baby. The days are long and dull but the thing about having a baby is you can be a bit flexible in the way you can't when doing paid work. It can be hard work, but you don't get sacked or have your competency questioned if you underperform.

Admittedly I hated my job, but I had to be up early. I had to cope with rush hour traffic, then bitchy colleagues, nasty bosses and horrible "clients" (kids, in my case - secondary school teacher.) contrary to popular belief on here I didn't ever have time for a hot drink, or any drink.

DH isn't a secondary school teacher but he works hard - very hard, and so do I. My job is at home but it isn't work any more than cleaning my own loo is work, it's just stuff that needs doing and I do as I'm the one at home.

It's impossible to split everything down the middle as it's comparing apples to oranges, we do find it much easier for me to deal with children, housework, cooking and cleaning and DH deals with all finances. It's just how we work and it's fair.

BackforGood · 04/06/2014 00:36

Seeing that he is the one working to support them, he can't be expected to have broken sleep and then function at work properly

Really???
Thousands of parents (and, come to that, carers of vulnerable adults) do just that every single day.
Haven't seen the programme, but that's a ridiculous thing to say.

whynowblowwind · 04/06/2014 00:39

Sometimes it does help to turn it around, imagine if a woman posted in relationships.

"I'm working full time and DH is a SAHD but I'm still up several times a night to see to the DCs and I'm exhausted."

I imagine most responses would be along the lines of, he should be the one seeing to the children as he doesn't have to be up the next day.

Quite so.

SoonToBeSix · 04/06/2014 00:44

Yanbu I have twins my dh helps every night.

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