to feel upset that primary school has failed to teach my son ( age 11) to write properly?

[SensingSolo]

Had a difficult weekend, but I'll spare the sob story, and this feels like another straw on the camel's back ...

I decided to help my son improve his handwriting, for the second time in his primary school career. It was so bad around Y4 that I had to go to the school and ask for some advice as to how I could help him at home , which I did as best I could.

Recently, I have noticed his handwriting is still poorly formed and have decided to have another go before he starts secondary school.

However, what I have now realised is that a lot of it is to do with the WAY he holds his pencil - like a claw! This is going to be hard to correct after such a long time, and my son was very upset at having to change it. Assuming we can of course, after 6 years of doing the wrong thing? Anyone help here btw?

I feel soooooooo hacked off that the school have not taught him the correct "tripod" way to write (which makes it so much easier and clearer). There seem to be so many things that primary schools do now in a huge curriculum (with a lot of political correctness thrown in). But really all I want my child to do is learn to basically read and write and some simple maths. I can do the rest.

Feeling both angry and upset at having to now do this, when I think its a teacher's job. Now, I feel like I have to teach my child to write all over again. Neither of us are relishing the thought ...

(p.s. we've left that school, so no point in going back and complaining).

What do I do now? Can I help him?

alarm

You know when people gaze into the air desperately trying to recollect memories that would prove them right?

Well she did that ... There was a whole "are you sure mrs Rufus" thing going on

When I told ds2 he said "so that's why she didn't say well done when I was trying to write with my right hand on Victorian day"

Bless him, his hand writing is bad as well...but all of their handwriting is. I blame their father...constantly

Calling people 'psychos' and then complaining that people are rude to you?! Pot meet kettle.....!

How is it not the school's responsibility? I was advised not to push writing before ds started school and he showed no interest so I didn't. He's now in year 2 and thanks to 'he'll find his own writing style' and 'finish your handwriting quickly or you can't go out at break time' his writing is awful! I've asked and asked at school what I can do to help ('teach him to type') and I can make him write reasonably well at home - slowly and carefully - but as soon as he's back at school it turns into spiders on a page.

OP, I have this difficulty. It wasn't for want of my teachers trying to get me to write correctly. I had repeated tests for dyslexia (amazingly, I wasn't dyslexic - I could have told them that), extra handwriting lessons, "you'll stay in the class over break until you write that correctly" and finally special education classes until I was 18. I still grip the pen in my fist blush but I am a speed reader and have a very fast typing speed.

Does your son have any other difficulties or is it just his handwriting? If it's just that, it will be easier to overcome. There's something about the translation of brain to page which seems difficult for some people. I can do it when I type but not when I write.

Some things which made it easier - once I stopped stressing out about writing in a joined-up fashion my writing flowed a lot more. My handwriting still isn't joined up but it is now mostly legible. My Special Ed teacher advised me to abandon the joins and also pick the pen which I found easiest to use. I get Berol Handwriting pens and the like which I find a lot easier than Biros/ballpoints. If I am really concerned about something I will either type it out or email it.

I also have a problem where I read far faster than I can speak so I struggle with reading things out because my brain processes faster than I can speak so I end up skipping lines. I wonder if your son has this as well.

I am sure your DS will be OK but some things just take time! If he's anything like me the school couldn't improve it, but the biggest helpful thing for me as a child was when they said "Don't bother trying to join things up if you can't see how they connect". I couldn't, so putting that into practice was incredibly helpful.

I haven't read the whole thread yet, just the OP and immediately think you sound inappropriately arrogant, especially:

"But really all I want my child to do is learn to basically read and write and some simple maths. I can do the rest."

If you can do the rest, why couldn't you have at least taught the child to hold a pen the way you'd prefer until now? It seems cruel, if you're such a good teacher, to leave him floundering with the basics when you're great enough a teacher to deliver a broad curriculum.

YABVU

Wow, calling another poster a psycho because they expressed an opinion you didn't agree with. You really are quite an unpleasant piece of work OP. There is absolutely nothing that you have been through or on this thread that justifies that.

I'm half tempted to report it for being disablist and offensive but if the poster in question doesn't mind I think it would be better to leave it to show exactly the sort of poster that people are dealing with.

I don't understand what the problem is.

Holding it like a claw has no bearing on how neat his hand-writing is. I hold my pencil "wrong", it's the only way that's comfortable for me and my handwriting is fantastic.

Another Psycho with nothing better to do with her life.

Seriously OP please stop with the name calling. You are really detracting from the help that you are trying to get!

You have already had posts removed for doing this yet you still continue

This is an internet forum. You can choose to ignore or respond to whatever posts suit you. If you don't like what someone says, respond to the people that post something useful.

Pen grip has nothing to do with penmanship. I know a person that holds her pen so weird almost with her pinky in a type of fist grip, and her writing is fine.

We're in a digital age, where soon he will be switching to typing. If his hand writing is truly horrible, maybe it's a sign he'll be a doctor.

Handwriting is really not so important these days.
Did you really not notice your child holding the pencil in a 'claw' in all these years? Doesn't sound like it is the school that 'failed' him!

Dont go OP.

Some posters do actually just hang around AiBU looking for the slightest flaw in an OP so they can pile in like rabid dogs.

Then if you react they get all high and mighty omitting the fact that you were enraged by some strangers talking to you like shite.

I don't think its too late to help his handwriting, there are some good suggestions here.

*Dont go OP.

Some posters do actually just hang around AiBU looking for the slightest flaw in an OP so they can pile in like rabid dogs.

Then if you react they get all high and mighty omitting the fact that you were enraged by some strangers talking to you like shite.

I don't think its too late to help his handwriting, there are some good suggestions here.*

I hope that the OP doesn't go either, however they too have had several posts deleted yet continue to name call.

Yes but she is just upset and reacting.

Maybe Fanjo but IMO no excuse. You could equally say the same about the other posters.

No she asked for help and several posters piled in with nasty pointless and unhelpful posts before she'd written anything bar her op.

There was no need to be so unpleasant and it was a clear case of bored,rabid pack dog mentality.

Yes what retro said.

Retropear - so, so true. I read the first few responses to the OP and thought, What is wrong with people? I mean, really, what is wrong with people? A whole load of people getting angry at the idea that it's up to the school to teach children to write. Apparently it's not the school's job! Apparently schools can't help an individual child to write because the teacher has 29 other children to worry about! How insane - nay, entitled- of the OP to imagine that the school should bear some responsibility for her child's poor handwriting.

Sorry but we will have to disagree on that one.

I agree with Eliza.

Have started reading thread but run out of time as have to take DD to college...
Just wanted to say DS had appalling writing all the way through primary,when he was writing at all,and I did worry at one point that he would be moving to secondary school unable to write more than a few words.
We did a lot at home,mainly just practice - his secondary schoool also were excellent,and run a handwriting support program,his writing (he is in Yr 9 now) has improved no end.
OP,if you are still here,you might like to check out "Handwrtiting Problems in the Secondary School" by Rosemary Sassoon.This is aimed at older children.it had a very interesting section about non standard pen grips,and discussed which can help clear writing and which won't - if you have concerns about the way an older child holds a pen it might be worth checking out (I tried one of the alternatives she suggested - really comfortable!) - Here: expensive,but local library might have it/be prepared to buy it!
www.amazon.co.uk/Handwriting-Problems-Secondary-Rosemary-Sassoon-ebook/dp/B00K21JFYE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1401865009&sr=8-1&keywords=handwriting+problems+in+the+secondary+school

Sorry hit the post button too soon.

IMO as soon as you resort to vulgar offensive name calling (whether that be the OP or others) you lose your arguement.

As someone who has suffered MH issues I find the word 'psycho' used like this extremely offensive.

Same Eliza :(

I hold my pen wrong. It still got me through 5 hr law exams so hey.