to feel upset that primary school has failed to teach my son ( age 11) to write properly?

[SensingSolo]

Had a difficult weekend, but I'll spare the sob story, and this feels like another straw on the camel's back ...

I decided to help my son improve his handwriting, for the second time in his primary school career. It was so bad around Y4 that I had to go to the school and ask for some advice as to how I could help him at home , which I did as best I could.

Recently, I have noticed his handwriting is still poorly formed and have decided to have another go before he starts secondary school.

However, what I have now realised is that a lot of it is to do with the WAY he holds his pencil - like a claw! This is going to be hard to correct after such a long time, and my son was very upset at having to change it. Assuming we can of course, after 6 years of doing the wrong thing? Anyone help here btw?

I feel soooooooo hacked off that the school have not taught him the correct "tripod" way to write (which makes it so much easier and clearer). There seem to be so many things that primary schools do now in a huge curriculum (with a lot of political correctness thrown in). But really all I want my child to do is learn to basically read and write and some simple maths. I can do the rest.

Feeling both angry and upset at having to now do this, when I think its a teacher's job. Now, I feel like I have to teach my child to write all over again. Neither of us are relishing the thought ...

(p.s. we've left that school, so no point in going back and complaining).

What do I do now? Can I help him?

[SistersOfPercy]

My DS writes with the weirdest claw hand ever, he's left handed as well and his writing is something akin to a spider walking through an ink spill.
He's 21 and midway through his degree. It's hardly affected him.

As for the OP. Consider my gob smacked.

[CoffeeTea103]

Did you never check homework once? That's your responsibility to do that, so why go looking to blame others if you've missed it yourself.
Also, you say that it was so subtle that you didn't notice, yet the school should be solely responsible.

[summertimeandthelivingiseasy]

no, not unreasonable, but it won't help.

Get a tutor in. One who is used to helping children who are out of school or special needs would be good. It takes time an patience, so you would probably need someone for 2-3years, who can also help with other aspects of writing and get your child to a good place.

My children's school was useless at this. They did not teach them how to form letters, and the teacher (a particularly weak one, we had three times during their time there) had no idea about teaching left-handed children.

She had the most bizarre way of teaching spellings - you would have thought there was enough material and research out there. They were the worst year in the school ever for spellings (which was bad anyway) and most of them had extra help at high school. I ended up doing a lot to help them learn how to spell words. I also ended up doing all the legwork for reading with my twins, who were not reading in Y5 but got no extra help.

Still, they loved their time there. They did a lot of dance, art, climbing trees and know a lot about modern architecture and have always been interested in learning. A few years ago, I would have said that they wasted their time there, but now I can see that they got a lot out of it.

[DaVinciNight]

I also think that there is a big issue with saying that parent should be doing the correcting etc. what if they correct wrongly?
Speaking of experience here as I 'taught' dc to do things that were then deemed 'wrong' by the teacher even though it was just a different method just as valid.

My experience is that what work best us NOT the parent doing things on their own but working with the teacher to find the best way to support the child badger all they are supposed to know best what is working and what isn't.
However my experience is also that few teachers dare to do that because they are so often at the receiving end if anise when they do. And parents don't because they are worried if looking pushy or to be told off by said teacher (I've seen both happening withy dcs...)

[Bonsoir]

OP - if there is a single skill which I firmly believe should be the sole responsibility of a primary school, it is penmanship. You are absolutely right to feel badly let down.

Can you afford to employ a specialist to help your DS?

[MsTwankeyToYou]

Well, that was unpleasant... Touched a nerve, OP?

(P.S. My reply was intended to be a reassuring one, so your reply presumably wasn't aimed at me, but I still think you've been very rude and overly defensive.)

[CoffeeTea103]

Scum? Don't be too hard on yourself.

[CatsCantTwerk]

Surely your ds has written christmas/birthday cards at home over the last 11 years? How could You not notice how he was holding his pen?

[SensingSolo]

Thanks Bonsoir, I can't afford a specialist. I will have to do some research and come up with something to do myself. I will ignore the inexplicably bitchy posts just telling me I'm a crap parent. I think I would rather have a parent who wasn't a bitch tbh...

[DaVinciNight]

Well the OP clearly checked and followed her dc as she had already done some work with him.

Not sure why oeoe areal nasty. What I hear us someone who is suddenly realizing that her dc should have Kearny something basic years ago and feels her dc has been key down.
Which he HAS.

[iK8]

Blimey. I was going to ask if the child was left handed and offer some practical advice... but I won't bother after the pathetic strop by op.

Instead I shall just tell you all that my one year old can hold a pencil correctly. I taught her. I am awaiting my commendation for parenting par excellence from the Queen.

[BravePotato]

some people just jump on threads like this to bitch.

FWIW OP, I think handwriting isn't that important these days. As long as it is legible it is fine.

As he is 11, teaching him to touch-type might be more useful.

The only things I handwrite these days are shopping lists and birthday/christmas cards. Everything for work or Study (or MN) is on the PC/tablet!

[flipchart]

Thought you had gone at 10.53am. Anyway my eldest DS is is a truly shockinging hand writer.
He holds the pen 'funny' as well. I had tuition for him but it hasn't done any good.

It hasn't really hindered him. He has a good job.

[SensingSolo]

I can honestly say I will never post on here again. I was going to a MN meetup but who wants to meet such horrible, bitchy, arrogant people. I will not be attending.

[AllAboveBroad]

OP I for one took time out of my day to write a post which so thought was helpful and informative. I got called a smug cow in response.
Everyone has issues. It doesn't give you carte blanche to be utterly unpleasant. I hope you wouldn't say something like that to someone in person.
And flouncer's corner has its own section too.

[grocklebox]

Shame. I'm sure you'll be missed.

[orangepudding]

Do try to pack of pencil grips.

Yes to learning to touch type. The EdPysch recommended that my son learns to touch type but he isn't quite ready for that at 6.

[DaVinciNight]

gro I think it's reasonable to expect a teacher who has been trained in teaching children his to write and hold a pencil to spot something like an unsuitable pencil grip.
But for a parent who has no knowledge not to spot it and to just see the 'bad' writting wo being able to attribute it the the pencil hold.
That's why they are professional in their field and I'm not.

[Meeeep]

Deary me OP breathe!

[flipchart]

That's fine, meet ups aren't compulsory.

I want to add although DS1 has appalling handwriting Ds2 is really neat.

They both had the same teachers. Maybe it's just the way it is.

[CatsCantTwerk]

I am sure the people at the meet up will be glad of your non attendance. Your attitude really stinks op.