to not want my 3yo to go to a petting farm without me

[pianointhedark]

DD is 3.2. Her preschool are doing a trip to a petting farm, which I feel reluctant to let her go on.

My main concern is hygiene. With the best will in the world the staff cannot be watching all the children all the time, and obviously it would only take a moment for her hand to go into her mouth before it had been washed. Obviously I could impress upon her not to do that, but she's only 3 and I can't expect her to understand why or remember.

I did ask whether they needed any parent helpers, but the answer was no. I then told a little white lie - that DD can be wary of animals and for that reason I would prefer to be with her, but again the answer was no - apparently they can't allow one parent to go because then all will want to go and they're sure DD will be fine.

AIBU to not want her to go? Sometimes I worry that I am being overly PFB and would appreciate some MN perspective.

This isn't really a question from you, is it? The majority of posters have said it is a bit OTT. You don't want to listen to them - which is fine, it's your daughter, your thread, and entirely your prerogative.

But I'm confused why you posted now?

Your little girl is more likely to put her hand in her mouth in nursery before she goes than on the farm,

Even if they had let you go too, surely you would have had to keep an eye on other children too and therefore wouldnt be able to keep a continuous eye on your own child?

Sirzy I don't know, I regularly take my 3 & an extra , to a petting farm, play park & 2 of them are under 5.

To be honest I don't think you'd be best placed to be a "helper". I know from my daughter's nursery & primary school that parent helpers were there to help all the kids not just concentrate on their own.

If you don't want her to go, then don't send her in that day, but it is an over reaction.

Yabu you need to relax it's not fair on your dd

Yeah you would need to look after other kids your dd might not be in I your group of children so would you be leaving the others to make sure her hands didnt go tobher mouth you are basically not trusting het nursery who have probably been running this trip every year for years,

If I were you, I wouldn't send her. But as I am me, I would send my child and not have worried about bacteria!

Having done various trips as a parent and as a nursery worker, we do make a huge point of constantly talking about not putting hands into mouths, using the sinks and hand gel quite frequently and helping them to wash their hands thoroughly as well as the gel.

Op I look after this age group and I wouldn't worry. I would no more let a child in my care touch his/her mouth in these circumstances that I would my own.

I think on balance being the only child not going on the trip would be worse than giving into your anxiety.

I spend a lot of my day wiping noses and making children wash their hands. Staff are there in loco parentis. If you don't trust them then that's a different issue.

Go and help as an extra pair of hands but please let her go!

Presumably you didn't mop the floor as she crawled? I imagine there's all sorts that could be picked up but she's fine.

The nursery will have done a risk assessment and would be over cautious if anything to ensure everyone's safety.

Surely if the nursery agreed for you to go and help your daughter wouldn't be 1-1 because you would be helping with the other children.

The risks are small. Do you not allow her to go in cars, play on trampolines or cross roads with you? Just in case?

my ds clambered into the guinea pig cage and drank from its water bottle, he also shared his bottle with my dad's dog and he's fine!

Balancing the minute risk of her catching E-coli, against the real risk of her being heartbroken not to go on the trip with her friends (well, my dd would be anyway, they've been talking about their trip for weeks and she asks every day how many sleeps), I think YABU.

I also work with under 5s seriously them putting their hands near their mouth after petting an animal , the most revolting thing ive seen was a pair of 3 year olds sharing bogies

I'm afraid I think you are being unreasonable and a bit precious.

She'll have fun! Petting animals is a lovely experience, all the farms I've visited have stressed importance of hygiene and she'll copy her friends washing their hands.

It's a shame you don't trust her nursery staff with regards to hygiene...I'm sure the kids get just as messy there at times.

My daughter is my PFB... But you do have to step back sometimes and let them do things without you.

OP, have you sought any help for your anxiety?

It sounds horrible for you, but it's not fair to let it have such and impact upon your DD.

You know if the risk was anything other than minuscule, schools would be banned from taking children on these trips.

And other parents certainly wouldn't be letting their kids go on them.

Calm down and let her go and have fun. She's at much more risk every time you let her travel by car.

Of course E coli is a risk. Life is a risk. The riskiest thing you do (statistically) with your child is put them in a car. But you have assessed it, and acted to minimise it as far as you can, while still using cars because of the benefits. Same with the petting farm. Minimise the risks (hand washing etc) and enjoy the benefits - wonderful exposure to learning opportunities for everything from socialisation to new word acquisition.

You sound nuts! They probably said you couldn't come because you would spoil the fun for everyone else with your screeching about hygiene.

I think a lot of the posters on this thread are overly blasé about the rare but quite real risks of E. coli infection. I'm not sure I'd let my DCs go on a trip with them. Fortunately nowadays petting zoos and nurseries are both very clued up on hand hygiene and if you see their risk plan for the visit it should reassure you that it is sufficiently heavy on the soap and water to minimise risks to an acceptable level.

I don't think anyone has denied there is a risk, but that risk is tiny and one the nursery will have risk assessed to minimise.

There are a lot more day to day thing which pose a much bigger risk but which we hardly think about.

Haha squoosh I fear you might be right

Seriously OP she's 3 years not 3 months. What about taking her there yourself one weekend check it out and then decide.

Yabvvvvu and very irrational. Withdraw her from the trip if you feel that way.

I think people are being a little harsh on the op. There are very dangerous germs which can be picked up at petting farms. The risk is small. But it is a real risk not one to be overlooked. I know someone who is a vet and she doesnt take her kids to petting farms full stop. Cos of these germs.

Although it is a balance and there is a lot of fun to be had by going. I dont think it is fair to gi e the impressio op is being pfb and a bit mad!

A few people have said "what are you worried about? What's the worst that could happen? Is being a sheep contagious?" Maybe "some" rather than "a lot" to be fair.

My grandparents owned a farm that I grew up on. I never got sick from the barn even with all the manure and hay dust everywhere. She'll be fine.

Animals and people can't transfer illness. What makes them sick won't make us sick.