Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my 3yo to go to a petting farm without me

392 replies

pianointhedark · 02/06/2014 15:00

DD is 3.2. Her preschool are doing a trip to a petting farm, which I feel reluctant to let her go on.

My main concern is hygiene. With the best will in the world the staff cannot be watching all the children all the time, and obviously it would only take a moment for her hand to go into her mouth before it had been washed. Obviously I could impress upon her not to do that, but she's only 3 and I can't expect her to understand why or remember.

I did ask whether they needed any parent helpers, but the answer was no. I then told a little white lie - that DD can be wary of animals and for that reason I would prefer to be with her, but again the answer was no - apparently they can't allow one parent to go because then all will want to go and they're sure DD will be fine.

AIBU to not want her to go? Sometimes I worry that I am being overly PFB and would appreciate some MN perspective.

OP posts:
RiverTam · 02/06/2014 15:30

well, DD and her class went to one last year (she was 3) and they all survived, and they're going to another this month. She had a lovely time, better I think than if I'd been there as she would have stayed very close to me rather than enjoying it with her friends.

I've been taking her to a local one since she was around 3, maybe this is just DD but she seemed old enough to me to clearly understand about no hands in mouth and washing hands.

Cocolepew · 02/06/2014 15:30

Don't send her then Confused

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/06/2014 15:30

Experts also say that children who live on farms are protected against all sorts of life-threatening conditions... www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21060319

Really PFB will be fine.

Cocolepew · 02/06/2014 15:31

They staff won't what you there judging helping, it changes the dynamic of a nice day out.

Mrsjayy · 02/06/2014 15:31

Mrscakes the nursery will be following guidekines ,

MrsCakesPremonition · 02/06/2014 15:33

Mrsjayy - I know the nursery will be following guidelines. It is the OP who doesn't seem to trust the nursery. Which is why I think she should talk to them so that they can reassure her. However, she seems reluctant to be honest with the nursery about her concerns.

Mrsjayy · 02/06/2014 15:34

That article is years old regulations have chqnged since then

OddBoots · 02/06/2014 15:34

Her attendance on the trip is entirely your choice, if you don't want her to go with the nursery then she doesn't have to. If you wanted to you could take her yourself to the same farm at the same time - I've known others do that before.

Original poster
pianointhedark · 02/06/2014 15:36

Where have I said that I don't trust the preschool?

They will not have a ratio of 1:1

Therefore there will not be somebody watching my DD all the time to ensure she doesn't put her hands in her mouth

That doesn't mean I don't trust them, I'm just being realistic

OP posts:
squoosh · 02/06/2014 15:36

'yes there is a tiny risk of e coli but she is more likely to get it fro mince than a lamb'

No stroking the shepherd's pie!

Sirzy · 02/06/2014 15:37

How on earth do parents with more than one child cope without a 1-1 ratio!

Welshwabbit · 02/06/2014 15:37

Re: experts and under fives: see here:

[http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8264266.stm]

I have worked on legal cases arising from some of these incidents so am a bit paranoid myself, but I would speak to the nursery staff yourself to see what measures they are putting in place. As far as I can tell the guidelines were not revised to ban under-fives from touching animals at petting farms following the outbreaks in 2009. The Code of Practice for the industry and the supplement for teachers can be found here:

[http://www.face-online.org.uk/resources/preventing-or-controlling-ill-health-from-animal-contact-at-visitor-attractions-industry-code-of-practice]

and here is the latest HPA guidance:

[http://www.hpa.org.uk/webc/hpawebfile/hpaweb_c/1270122184581]

Incidentally, my understanding is that hand gels do not necessarily remove the risk of contracting e-coli and may provide a false sense of security: everyone should WASH their hands thoroughly in soap and water before putting them near their mouths.

Welshwabbit · 02/06/2014 15:38

Aaaargh - sorry - now with proper links

Re: experts and under fives: see here:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8264266.stm

I have worked on legal cases arising from some of these incidents so am a bit paranoid myself, but I would speak to the nursery staff yourself to see what measures they are putting in place. As far as I can tell the guidelines were not revised to ban under-fives from touching animals at petting farms following the outbreaks in 2009. The Code of Practice for the industry and the supplement for teachers can be found here:

www.face-online.org.uk/resources/preventing-or-controlling-ill-health-from-animal-contact-at-visitor-attractions-industry-code-of-practice

and here is the latest HPA guidance:

www.hpa.org.uk/webc/hpawebfile/hpaweb_c/1270122184581

Incidentally, my understanding is that hand gels do not necessarily remove the risk of contracting e-coli and may provide a false sense of security: everyone should WASH their hands thoroughly in soap and water before putting them near their mouths.

Mrsjayy · 02/06/2014 15:38

Somebody did that with their child where I worked years ago to the zoo said the child wasnt going and they took them and tagged along on the nursery trilp it was very awkward

ProtegeMoi · 02/06/2014 15:39

Piano - if you were being realistic you wouldn't have a thread full of mums telling you you're being overprotective. If you're that worried don't let her go, it's just sad your DD will miss out due to irrational fears.

Mrsjayy · 02/06/2014 15:39

Yy to the hand gel thats why I suggested hand wipes it cleans better the gel doesn't wash hands

Original poster
pianointhedark · 02/06/2014 15:39

I definitely wouldn't turn up with her separately, that would be awkward!

OP posts:
RiverTam · 02/06/2014 15:41

does she make a habit of putting her hands in her mouth? I just find that a bit odd, DD didn't/doesn't stick her hands in her mouth all the time, we have cats and she doesn't automatically put her hands in her mouth after stroking them. It would never occur to me that she or any of the children would need a minder to stop them doing this, they'll be told not to and they'll be plenty of handwashing going on (I've seen parties of schoolchildren at the local one).

sillymillyb · 02/06/2014 15:41

Why don't you write a list to help get it in perspective.

Odds of getting E. coli from petting farm

Odds of getting E. coli generally

Odds of getting hurt in road accident on way to farm

Odds of getting hurt in the home.

It would take a bit of research but it might help you get the trip into a perspective.

As a parent sometimes we have to just let go and let our children do stuff that scares us shitless. Maybe this is one of those calculated risks you should take to give your lo an exciting and educational experience?

MrsCakesPremonition · 02/06/2014 15:41

So when you take your DD to the farm with a 1:1 ratio, how do you manage to prevent her putting her hands in her mouth? Do you literally never take your eyes off her? Even to look where you are walking? Do you hold both her hands continuously?

If the nursery were able to provide 1:1 support for your DD, would you let her go? Would you trust the member of staff to do all the things that you do to ensure that a hand never drifts mouthwards?

HaroldLloyd · 02/06/2014 15:42

If you think it's that much of a risk you shouldn't send her.

I've taken DS to loads of farms and even on a 1:1 basis you can't stop them touching and potentially touching other things they put in their mouths or out their fingers in their mouths without supervising them to a very very high level which probably means it wouldn't be enjoyable.

Probably give them the fear of goats for ever.

ikeaismylocal · 02/06/2014 15:43

I think that the problem is that even if you do wash your hands you will still have poo on your shoes/clothing.

I believe hand gels don't protect against e-coli.

I do feel the risk is tiny and I'd imagine the coach trip/car journey would have a higher risk.

BackforGood · 02/06/2014 15:43

Well if you've made up your mind your poor dd won't be allowed to visit a petting farm when she'd still U5, why bother asking on the internet, and suggesting it's about not trusting the Nursery ? Confused

nahidontthinkso · 02/06/2014 15:43

I had to go on a trip to a petting farm when DS was 4 and in reception at school. I had no choice to attend because he has ASD, wasn't statemented at the time and needed 2:1 as he is a bolter.

The kids were regularly told to clean their hands. They were lined up to pet animals in small groups of 5 or 6 then sent to wash hands straight after.

Even with 2:1 DS managed to licked the metal fence of the cow enclosure. Nothing happened to him.

She will be fine. It will be a shame for her to miss out on the trip, just ensure she knows that she can't put her hands in her mouth until she has washed them.

bellybuttonfairy · 02/06/2014 15:44

Gosh, you cannot be that worried about bacteria. We live in a world FULL of bacteria and viruses. Yes, maybe one child died of E.Coli related illness but you need to put this into perspective...

Millions of children visit petting farms. She is more likely to die from meningitis/car accident/burns etc etc.

Of course you dont want her to come to any harm but I think harm can be psychological as well as physical. Keeping her away from a normal trip out where the risk to her is practically non existent - really isnt good for her!

Swipe left for the next trending thread