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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want my 3yo to go to a petting farm without me

392 replies

pianointhedark · 02/06/2014 15:00

DD is 3.2. Her preschool are doing a trip to a petting farm, which I feel reluctant to let her go on.

My main concern is hygiene. With the best will in the world the staff cannot be watching all the children all the time, and obviously it would only take a moment for her hand to go into her mouth before it had been washed. Obviously I could impress upon her not to do that, but she's only 3 and I can't expect her to understand why or remember.

I did ask whether they needed any parent helpers, but the answer was no. I then told a little white lie - that DD can be wary of animals and for that reason I would prefer to be with her, but again the answer was no - apparently they can't allow one parent to go because then all will want to go and they're sure DD will be fine.

AIBU to not want her to go? Sometimes I worry that I am being overly PFB and would appreciate some MN perspective.

OP posts:

MrsCakesPremonition · 02/06/2014 15:02

Instead of making up lies to try and force the nursery into allowing you to go, I'd be talking to them about the ratio of adults to children and how they plan to ensure that the children's follow hygiene advice. Hopefully they will be able to reassure you.

Original poster

pianointhedark · 02/06/2014 15:06

But unless they are planning a ratio of 1:1 (which I know they won't be) then it would be extremely easy for a 3yo's hand to go into their mouth before an adult could stop them.

OP posts:

Lanabelle · 02/06/2014 15:07

It is a little OTT I think, Just tell her to make sure she washes her hands before she eats/ puts them in her mouth etc. I work on a farm (not a petting zoo - an actual working farm) and my lo's have always been running around mostly without close supervision but have always been fine

BertieBotts · 02/06/2014 15:08

It will be fine. What do you think is going to happen to her if she does put her hand in her mouth?

BackforGood · 02/06/2014 15:08

Well, I don't know about BU or not - if it's how you feel, then it's how you feel, but I do think you are being very PFB about it.
They do have to have high ratios for trips like this and will keep a close eye, but hey - even if a child does put their hand in their mouth (and - why would she?) then it's not the end of the world.
She'll have a fantastic time if you let her go, but ultimately, if you aren't happy, then say no, and she can stay behind at Nursery (unless they are closing for the day in which case I guess you will have to take the day off).

onetiredmummy · 02/06/2014 15:09

I think you're being a tad PFB yes. I wonder what the absolute worst case scenario is for a child to put an unwashed hand in her mouth, I don't know because my 2 have been to the petting farm many times & although we washed their hands at the end, presumably if the risk is very severe you wouldn't be allowed to feed the animals at all. I'd be interested to find out the worst case scenario.

If you think about it though, how many centuries have humans been living with farm & domesticated animals?! The risk really can't be that much.

If you are uncomfortable then don't allow her to go.

Mrsjayy · 02/06/2014 15:11

You are being irrational you know that dont you petti g farms have washing stations they have hand gel and their animals are vet checked, what terrible disease do you think she will get, the staff at these places are always banging on about handwashing, if you are worried volunteer to go with the m

adsy · 02/06/2014 15:11

verypfb.
Do you like her to wash her hands each time she strokes a cat or dog? ( or is she not allowed to do that?)

MrsCakesPremonition · 02/06/2014 15:11

Does she suck her hands a lot?

raffle · 02/06/2014 15:11

I was licked on the mouth by a goat when I was small

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 02/06/2014 15:11

I understand you feel uneasy but yes, you are being a bit precious, she will have a lovely day and I am sure the staff know what they are doing.

If you think about where the average 3 year old puts their hands ......... or any of us for that matter. I think a few germs do us good here and there, not good for a child to be too sterile :)

Mrsjayy · 02/06/2014 15:12

Sorry you asked to go but still she will be fine honestly

ikeaismylocal · 02/06/2014 15:12

Are there possibly very dangerous illnesses that can be caught at petting farms?

I would think your child had more chance of catching illnesses from the other kids than from the animals.

Mrsjayy · 02/06/2014 15:13

Urgh goat snog

Thurlow · 02/06/2014 15:13

Bit pfb. In the nicest possible way. The animals will have been checked regularly to ensure none are ill, and the nursery staff will surely ensure that the kids all wash their hands before eating. Is your DD likely to put her hands in her mouth often? I can't see that arising very often.

Jackanory1978 · 02/06/2014 15:14

My 13 month old ds runs around my horses stables, gets very mucky, touches the dogs/horses/chickens etc ate mud the other day; & he's still alive!! I think you're being extremely overprotective.

Joules68 · 02/06/2014 15:14

Oh dear! How can you even ensure in 1:1 that a dirty hand doesn't go in her mouth? As you are walking along her spare hand ( not the one you are clutching) could brush against a gate/wall/animal.... You'd never know!

At 3 she's prob eaten alsorts already you don't know about!

Viviennemary · 02/06/2014 15:16

I can kind of see your point. I always worried about those types of trips when the DC's were very small. Can you not go along too if you're really worried.

Greenandcabbagelooking · 02/06/2014 15:16

Worst case scenario - children die of heamolytic uremic syndrome caused by E.coli.

Rare, but it happened a few years ago at a farm park in Surrey.

BBC link

I'm a bioscientist with quite a bit of knowledge of mircobiology. I'd be worried.

I would be asking how many adults are going, will they be carrying hand gel and how frequent hand wash stops will be.

itisntme · 02/06/2014 15:17

YABVU the only reason i wouldn't want her to go without me is because I like going to the farm and would be jealous :)

lynniep · 02/06/2014 15:17

I think you are being a tad precious yes BUT she is your child so I get it - you can't help being PFB. Presumably the petting zoo is a public place and they cannot stop you from attending. Honestly though I'd let her go.

(I'm baffled by this btw - my nursery are having a day out at a local farm this month and they are desperate for parent helpers -surely its to their benefit?!)

runningonwillpower · 02/06/2014 15:18

A sterile environment is not healthy and neither is an over-protective one.

I do think you are being PFB.

Cocolepew · 02/06/2014 15:18

Bit ott to be honest. The staff at these farms always tell children to wash their hands.
My DD licked a cow

ProtegeMoi · 02/06/2014 15:18

Think your being overprotective sorry. My DS went through a stage of licking shoes. No matter how much we tried to stop him as soon as your back was turned he had a shoe in his mouth. He's still alive and it did him no harm.

The nursery will be considering hygiene and they will be getting the little ones to wash their hands, yes it's easy for a little one to put their hand in their mouth and like you said it only takes a second but it's very very very unlikely to cause her any problem even if she does. Humans have a pretty amazing immune system.

BertieBotts · 02/06/2014 15:19

But not being funny, Green, can't you catch E Coli from lots of places not just farm animals? And you've said yourself it's rare.

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