to wish children at school didn't bring sweets in for the whole class on the birthday

[brt100]

Dn seams to always be coming home with sweets, I just think it should be up to the parents to decide on these things, I would be livid. Should the school ban this?

But, with all due respect, if my dd just had one filling perhaps I wouldn't feel quite so strongly as I do.

I am not projecting my burden! That's a bit dramatic!

I cannot get how some can think that their childs desire for sweets trumps another childs reason for not having sweets .Its not a big deal doing differently.

Give them some sweets from your handbag if they need them so much, or send in small non food treats if you want to do something nice.

Its not asking the world.

Sorry the last part of that wasn't directed specifically at you Funny.

I didn't say YOU were projecting your burden I just said I don't. I see it has my issue not anyone else's.

I am also not saying your reasons are wrong what I am saying that calling for an outright ban is unfair if the other 25 parents don't agree with you.

The having no sweets is important to you. The same way giving out a small bag of sweets is important to others. Both sides have given reasons and yes you have given alternatives however you have also been given alternatives which you don't agree with. You cannot expect everyone to bend to your ways or your wishes.

Off to go try and sleep but thank you for the discussion That it was good to chat/argue the toss/discuss/battle/disagree/understand/debate with you I haven't got so much out of a thread in ages

So again, what are the compelling reasons for giving sweets instead of treats if this causes some children detriment whether it be by exclusion or cost to health?

If it was important to others to hand out sweets because it had a health benefit to their child, or because it'd be detrimental to them if they didn't, I could see the issue.

People won't vote with me because in all honesty the view so often is that the fat kid and the kid with rotten teeth have got parents that brought it upon them, so why should anyone else change one iota to improve their lot.

Like I said before:here's to the fat kids and the ones with rotten teeth

Yep on this I'll concede that you're right Funny....

Bedtime!

Mine just come out and say 'Look what I got, May I have it' but if a child does manage to inhale them between being given them at home time and you picking them up from right outside the door [Hmm] then I think they've earnt them!

Yabu

When ds was smaller I used to have party bags with sweets and general tat, and bags without the sweets (different coloured bags and I'd let the parents know on the sly so they could choose which). Or the sweets would be in seperate (sealed) paper bags and put aside for the parents to choose if they wanted. I know, what a faff!

Needless to say, the sweets went like hot cakes, leaving sad bowls of fruit, yo bear-type fruit leather and raisins (before we knew they were also bad for teeth).

Later on I'd check with parents to see if they wanted bags without sweets and have never had anyone ask for one.

(And I say 'haribo' as a generic term for kids sweets - I only give veggie sweets as a precaution).

Not sending in a cake/cupcakes does seem a bit joyless for a birthday. I don't send in packs of sweets but other parents do (for various things birthdays, chinese new year, divali, end of ramadan, etc).

I don't know if the OP has kids of her own, or if her DNs mum complains about the sweets.

Well, I stayed up late last night making sure I had enough bookworms for the class and proudly announced my plan to DD this morning.

She looked at me like I had gone bonkers and quietly said, "can't we just make biscuits or buns; only teachers give out stuff like that"

No That, there is nothing crucial about handing out sweets or cakes. No, the children won't shrivel up and die emotionally if they don't have them. No, people aren't doing it because they care "little about your child". Believe it or not, it isn't personal . If you (and anyone else whose child has a health issue) want to opt out, no-one is stopping you and I'm sure you have already told everyone in the vicinity who needs to know about your child's dental problems. But, expecting the whole school to stop it because of your child is more than a little bit, I hate to say it, entitled. Majority rules and all that.

Some people really need to get a little bit of perspective. I have coealiac disease, but I don't stop people providing wheat based cakes at parties I attend or demand gluten free sausages only when at a barbecue. I either go without, or take a suitable gluten free alternative with me as I'm mature enough to realise it's MY issue, not the rest of my social circle. Of course some people provide me with gluten free and that's nice, but I don't expect it.

though I do genuinely feel for you Sidge (I think it was), it must be hard for your DD having to cope with Prader Willi syndrome

If you want to resort to calling my child names like 'entitled' Lack you can fuck off you nasty piece of work.

If you read my post correctly, I was referring to your attitude as being a little entitled. I did not call your child any names. You are the only one calling anyone any names as far as I have just seen.

Jesus, who knew people would get so het up over a wee poke of sweeties. It's like another dimension here sometimes.

Pot kettle black BloodyWoman? Sheesh!

And btw I have told barely anyone about my childs dental problems so don't make assumptions.
This is an anonymous forum.

I don't advertise stuff my children are self conscious about with their friends.

As for your majority rules stuff -the majority of our school can eat bacon yet it isn't served.
There was no vote, yet there were no angry parents demanding it be re instated on the menu because it seems we are reasonable adults who think about other people's children.

And with your health and diet issues -well, quite simply you are an adult.As adults we have far greater coping strategies and reasoning skills.

Lack your entitled comment just as easy works the other way.In fact more so.

Isn't it a little bit entitled if people expect that little Jane can hand out sweets to their classmates after school, even though not all if them can or should have them, just because it'll keep her happy?

After all, its such an easy win for some parents, to just pick up a couple of multipacks of crap sweeties from the poundshop, rather than teach their children about trying to be fair and include all their friends.

Anyways, we have still not demonstrated a clear reason for giving out sweers rather than treats which trumps the reasons for not doing it.

Apart from feeling entitled to do it that is.

I can see a child who doesn't hand out sweets may feel disappointed because thats what the rest do.Which is why an overall policy would be a good solution that alienates no one.

Well you certainly aren't really showing a tremendous amount of reasoning skills are you? Otherwise you would be able to see that I never once called your child any sort of name.

And bloody hell if no-one knows that your child has dental issues how in the name of all that is holy are they caring little about your child by handing out sweets on the occasional birthday?

It sounds like you are pissed about not getting bacon for another child's reason, so don't want anyone having sweets as your child can't. I suggest you take up these issues directly with the school.

And I have friends with DC who have nut allergies, wheat allergies and other issues and they have known from reception to say "No Thank You I can't eat it if I don't know what's in it" when their parent isn't there to speak for them.

After all, its such an easy win for some parents, to just pick up a couple of multipacks of crap sweeties from the poundshop, rather than teach their children about trying to be fair and include all their friends

And how about teaching your child about making sensible choices and dealing with ever day senarios instead of campaigning to have everything remotely enjoyable to children picked apart and banned.

I went to a school like this. One that banned practically every toy/craze in the play ground on H&S grounds. It was bloody boring at break time. Instead of parents teaching their children to look where they were bloody going or to not throw things ridiculously hard it just got banned.

Why don't you just give the teacher a small box of what she can have so she always gets something to. Before she leaves school and realises that shock horror she has to deal with people being allowed things she isn't.

then the parent takes them off the child, simples.

Parents send things in all the time, it's not just sweets. Get over it.

Trouble is the ban-everything brigade are so much louder and more persistant than the rest of us so the schools tend to cave in just to keep the peace ...

DP used to send DS2 in with interesting rocks ...

The school were making a geology garden so it's not quite as mad as it sounds but I did used to feel for DS2's teacher when he rolled up with another huge lump of granite or whatever ...

:o

I get the feeling the actual issue here is that some parents don't like being the "Bad" guy and having to tell their child they aren't allowed certain things.