Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to wish children at school didn't bring sweets in for the whole class on the birthday

705 replies

brt100 · 01/06/2014 10:50

Dn seams to always be coming home with sweets, I just think it should be up to the parents to decide on these things, I would be livid. Should the school ban this?

OP posts:
hoobypickypicky · 03/06/2014 23:00

Thank you for the entertainment, OP. I'd had a very trying day up until now.

ThatBloodyWoman · 03/06/2014 23:00

But to make them stand out, to illustrate their difference by excluding them from the sweetie hand out could well be a problem.

Therefore, they join in, so as not to be singled out.
Like they do at the party.
Like they do at their friends house.....

Gileswithachainsaw · 03/06/2014 23:05

So the answer is to ban things fir everyone so a parent can get out the responsibility of teaching their child or providing an alternative so their child isn't "singled out"

ThatBloodyWoman · 03/06/2014 23:08

But what is so devastatingly important about handing out the sweets at school?

There have been many valid reasons here as to why not, and none of us are daft -we all know sweets aren't fantastic for anyone.

So what exactly are the reasons for it being so crucial that sweets are handed out at school?

Sirzy · 03/06/2014 23:10

The issue is what they eat at home though. Sweets once a week, a party once a month and tea at a friend every so often isn't the cause of their obesity.

What the eat and do day in day out is what causes that problem and banning sweets from school won't do anything to change that.

Gileswithachainsaw · 03/06/2014 23:12

Because it's just something someone felt was nice to do.

So a child who doesn't get a party can he centre if attention for five mins.

So a new kid can feel welcomed into the class by helping teacher hand them out.

So they can enjoy five mins of being a kid that aren't micro managed by parents.

FunnyFoot · 03/06/2014 23:12

They stand out because their parents didn't feed them a healthy meal nor did they encourage exercise.

Teaching balance and moderation is the key because banning the once per week sweet at school is not going to encourage the parents of an overweight child to feed them better it just reaffirms that they again don't have to parent/educate their child because somebody else is.

ThatBloodyWoman · 03/06/2014 23:14

It won't do anything to hurt it either though Sirzy , I'm sure you can see that,and it'd save me (and no doubt others ),emergency dentists appointments with yet another hole, or a filling clinging to a Drumstick lolly.

Sirzy · 03/06/2014 23:15

It doesn't help anything to ban them. It is something which lots of children enjoy and it gives them a few minutes of feeling special.

You can stop your children taking part by all means but you can't expect the whole school to change simply because that is shah you want

sonlypuppyfat · 03/06/2014 23:16

My children are always so excited when they come out of school after handing out their treats, I usually send them in with individual cakes. Why do people have to spoil their fun. Its such small thing.

FunnyFoot · 03/06/2014 23:20

I am sure That a child's tooth decay will not be blamed upon 1 small bag of sweets. Tooth decay happens over time and is contributed to by poor diet (consist), poor oral hygiene and genetics.

If you are needing to take your child to the dentist so often then you need to look at what you are doing at home because that is where they eat the majority of food.

ThatBloodyWoman · 03/06/2014 23:21

Because its just something someone thought was nice to do

This is lovely and its a really nice thought I'm sure with good motives.
So maybe it takes for those with concerns about it to speak up.....

So a child who doesn't get a party could be centre of attention for five mins

Again, lovely thing to do, so hand out erasers or moshi monsters.

So a new kid can feel welcomed into the class by helping teacher hand them out

As above ^

So they can enjoy five mins of being a kid that aren't micro managed by parents

Many ways of doing this -your tree climbing example being one of them.

ThatBloodyWoman · 03/06/2014 23:25

Funny if you read the thread you would know tooth problems can be caused by problems during development in the womb.

So thats actually really unfair and insulting.

FunnyFoot · 03/06/2014 23:30

Er I know if you read the thread you would see that my DD suffers the same affliction. I thought genetics kind of covered it to be honest.

I however do not blame the odd packet of sweets for it. I monitor her diet and her oral hygiene as well as educating her. In the hope that I can provide with the knowledge of how best to take care of her teeth.

So actually That I find your post insulting and maybe you need to read the thread.

stonecircle · 03/06/2014 23:31

Really Funny? DS2's 4 back molars had to be extracted when he was four. Nothing to do with poor diet at home (I'm quite sure and, at 17, he has a full set of healthy, unfilled teeth). The poor enamel on his teeth was, according to the dentist, probably due to me being ill when I was pregnant with him.

But hey, that's no reason to spoil the fun and complain about other people shoving sugary crap at him when he was at primary.

FunnyFoot · 03/06/2014 23:32

See my last post Stone

stonecircle · 03/06/2014 23:35

So your dd has problems with her teeth and you don't mind her coming out of school with a sugary lolly stuck in her mouth or some fizzy, sherbety crap? Goodness.

ThatBloodyWoman · 03/06/2014 23:36

So does your dd get any problems with fillings and extractions Funny ?

See I monitor my dds diet and educate her.She has excellent oral hygiene.

Why wouldn't I do these things? Why do you seem to assume I don't ?

Its lovely that your dd can have more sweets than mine and not have the same problems, but please don't make out that its because you do it better than me!

ThatBloodyWoman · 03/06/2014 23:39

And I do apologise Funny.
I must have missed your posts re:your daughters teeth.

nonameslefttouse · 03/06/2014 23:41

Ds has been taught to save me the fizzy cola bottles! Honestly get a grip fare enough if red bull was being handed out but come on seriously ! Ds has 22 kids in his class taking away Kids with birthdays in school holidays like ds, kids who don't bother I'm lucky if I get 5 fizzy cola bottles a year!

ThatBloodyWoman · 03/06/2014 23:42

Sooooo, any more reasons why handing out sweets instead of hairbands, notepads, moshis, or some other non edible treat is so crucial???

FunnyFoot · 03/06/2014 23:42

She has had 1 filling so far.

She doesn't eat sugar sweets at home as a matter of course but when she does she brushes her teeth immediately afterwards. When she goes to a party she brushes her teeth when she gets home.
At her school the sweets are given out at the door at home time so she eats them on the way home and brushes again when she gets in.

She drinks only water or milk no juice, no squash not even at parties tbh. So I do what I can without completely removing the sweets as they are not the cause of her tooth decay but if given contiguously without the brushing they would definitely be a contributing factor.

Strangely I am teaching her to floss this week as the dentist advised it and it is proving a difficult thing to teach as I floss without consciously thinking about it.

ThatBloodyWoman · 03/06/2014 23:48

I have taken various advice on this and it seems you shouldn't brush immediately after a sugary snack -better to have a chunk of cheese and not brush within an hour of the sweets.

It's hard to find out definitive advice, so I hope that's correct.

I imagine as with so many things there are different degrees.

I'm just hoping for the adult teeth to prove to be stronger.

FunnyFoot · 03/06/2014 23:52

Also I am not trying to say I am better than you I just don't project my burden on to others. 9the teeth cleaning routine does drain me at times)

DD has bad teeth no bodies fault just one of those things. I have made the choice to allow her to have the birthday sweets from school however if I decided that I didn't want that for her then I would tell the teachers no sweets, explain to DD and provide an alternative treat such as the olives she loves so much or the red peppers. I would not ask for the school to ban them as that would be unfair.

FunnyFoot · 03/06/2014 23:56

She doesn't like cheese. Difficult mare she is.

I do what I can to preserve the teeth she has. It's even more frustrating when her twin has a perfect set of pearly whites and is the complete opposite when it comes to teeth cleaning. It's like trying to brush the teeth of a crocodile sometimes.