Yes parents in restaurant, you were VU!

[Bogeyface]

It was not the waitress's fault that she tripped over your daughter who was running around with your son causing havoc, it was not the waitress's fault that your DD got caught on the arm with a fork that fell off the tray of pots she was carrying, it was yours. If you bothered to look after them instead of texting, talking and watching TV on your phones then it wouldnt have happened.

That was why the manager refused to give you a refund on the 5 meals you had, and I agreed with him when he said that a restaurant is not an appropriate place for a child to be running around. I also agreed with him when he said that if you couldnt keep your children under control then you would not be welcome back. So did everyone else, which is why no one jumped to your defence when you said "No one minds do they?" looking at the other diners.

Oh and btw, occasionally jiggling the buggy while you stuff your face is not a recognised way of calming a howling baby. Try feeding the baby before you feed yourselves you selfish bastards.

You ruined our meal out, which is a very rare treat for us these days thanks a fucking bunch for that.

^Sorry that was meant to be, so why shouldn't non parents join to talk about other things?

It seems to me that kids arent allowed to be bored these days. All this constant stimulation and distraction, is it too much to ask that a child just sit down and eat?
Now the only 'restaurant' I was taken to was the Littlewoods or Bhs cafe but I remember eating my food and just people watching, reading the menu over and over, listening to my Mum and Dad if I had finished. And pretty much every other family was the same. Im not harking back to some golden age, this was the early nineties in Manchester!

Another non parent here! Maybe my intolerance of brattish behaviour will subside if I ever have my own, doubt it though!

yy mswibble. I know soo many kids that automatically get handed the I Pad/ Phone the minute they get in a car/ on a bus/ are in a waiting room.
There is no time for just looking out of the window, or...thinking!
I remember being in doctors waiting rooms etc, and staring at the posters, looking at the people, and reflecting on things. Thinking about things, sometimes quite deep things (as children do).
I do wonder when children ever get the time for boredom (and thus quiet reflection) anymore.
I really am a stubborn old gimmer. " Mum can I play on your phone" "No. Look out of the window".
Soon all the neighbourhood children will start saying i am a witch and daring each other to ring my doorbell and run away.

My sons allowed the ipad only ever if we're in a restaurant after he's finished eating his meal. We only eat out every couple of months so the whole event is seen as a great treat.

I have no problem eyeing out a meal with ipad. But yes, we don't ignore him either.

Whats your excuse for being so rude then lesley?

And ignorant. .people don't mention SN unless a child has clear red flags of it.

I.e is 10 and is sitting having toddler tantrum.

I was born in the 70's we did not have a tv till the 80's and never had a computer - I got bored, read books and looked out of windows etc. but I was also restless and badly behaved on occasion - I also was loud and talked too much on occasion, we rarely went out for meals but I recall seeing brattish behaviour in the 80's ... children were loud, people complained and said how much better it was in the 50's before everyone had walkman's ... I was told off on the bus once for spilling my jar that contained tiddlers we had fished out of the river ... toddlers ran around my sisters wedding and were a bit naughty.

Parents should manage their children in public the era that we live in is no different in that respect. I recall that when Dad took us out with him to the pub - before the era of the gastro pub - he bought us lemonade and a packet of crisps and left us running around the pub garden while he had his quiet pint, there was a nice swing. We weren't expected to sit still and eat our meals quietly - when we take our kids for a meal we go for lunch and we choose a place with a garden and play equipment - the kids scoff their food then run around in the garden - where it is apprpropriate to do so... we would be mortified if they knocked into a waitress or anyone else.

Continental children behave better because they spend a lot of time in (Catholic) church without the benefit of the horror children's mass. They learn to sit still and behave and listen from birth; whereas we ensure our children have church services which allow them to behave as if they are playing at home.

So I am told, anyway

Not in my continental catholic church.

My, er, continental Catholic aunt told me. So it is therefore true, Lweji. Allegedly.

Balance bike in Sainsbury's? I see you and raise you this - wooden swords and shields in the restaurant because the woman is a cool Mum and her kids (4 and 7.5) were super cute. As a former waitress, my blood well and truly boiled. My child, related to this lot, was 2 1/2 and behaved better than either of them, who shock battered each other with the swords and had to have them taken off of them. I despair sometimes.

There is some truth, yes, :). But children can still get around a bit, particularly toddlers and parents do take distractions.

Agree, Bigmouth, things don't change. People moan about the exact same shit, just with a slightly different frame of reference.

While I'm all for allowing children to have room and space to think or be mildly bored, I don't get all the stuff here against giving them a phone or a book or some colouring. It is reasonable for a family to eat out once in a while. It is reasonable to expect that the 3 year old in that family will have less tolerance for sitting still and deathly quiet (didn't someone up-thread say admiringly of a toddler 'you wouldn't have known he was there' ? ) than an older child, or a child with SN (ok, you cynical lot at the back can tick that one off your MN Bingo sheets). I think it's reasonable to be allowed to entertain those children at the table without being tutted at for not allowing them to get a little bit bored, or think. Can't win sometimes, can you?

I'd never allow my children to run around a restaurant or shout. If DS2 (ASD) gets loud, I either take him out or bribe the shit out of him with chocolate. Because I think it's reasonable for me to be allowed a meal out too, even though I've rashly procreated.

We have a keyboardy thing that makes farm animal noises. Might have been fun in the meat section...

YANBU about the badly behaved parents.

I have to take a stand on the subject of American kids, though. Based on nothing at all but my own observation and the fact that my 5 are American, I would rate American children's restaurant behaviour pretty well. This may be a regional and Blue State thing or even regional/Blue State/Catholic thing, however.

bloody hell, you'll be moaning about them changing the nappy on the table next.
Some people!

What did I miss?!

I always miss deletions on threads I start!

I smell a SN comment, no I dont believe the children had SN and I know what I am talking about there, having a disabled child myself.

I want to know where the kerfuffle about the bacon sammies is.

Me too Math! Alpaca, what was the bacon sarnie ruckus? Have you a link please, or was it deleted?

bacon ruckus

It's the parents that amaze me, there are two types. The ones whose kids are so adorable that they cannot believe for a second that anyone would find there delightful dancing, singing, screaming nursery rhymes, playing the recorder (gah) child irritating and they get very very upset if you politely ask them to take there kids back to their own table. The others completely and utterly ignore their kids behaviour, they just carry on eating their dinner, sipping their wine and chatting with their friends whilst little Timmy is screaming round knocking over glasses and heading for the front door and the main road. It took us a while last week to even identify who the child in our local beer garden belonged to. We thought he was with the two ladies who's table he was standing on, nope. Turns out he was with parents and grandparents neither of which were paying any attention, I guess it's a generational thing!

Also well done to the manager who didn't put up with it. The management at our local did nothing because the grandparents were regulars and they didn't want to upset them. The fact that twenty customers in their will never come back again never seems to cross their minds.

Thanks slithy! :)

I forgot to say to the OP - YANBU! Well done that manager, although I am slightly disappointed he didn't get a round of applause for refusing their outrageous request!