Yes parents in restaurant, you were VU!

[Bogeyface]

It was not the waitress's fault that she tripped over your daughter who was running around with your son causing havoc, it was not the waitress's fault that your DD got caught on the arm with a fork that fell off the tray of pots she was carrying, it was yours. If you bothered to look after them instead of texting, talking and watching TV on your phones then it wouldnt have happened.

That was why the manager refused to give you a refund on the 5 meals you had, and I agreed with him when he said that a restaurant is not an appropriate place for a child to be running around. I also agreed with him when he said that if you couldnt keep your children under control then you would not be welcome back. So did everyone else, which is why no one jumped to your defence when you said "No one minds do they?" looking at the other diners.

Oh and btw, occasionally jiggling the buggy while you stuff your face is not a recognised way of calming a howling baby. Try feeding the baby before you feed yourselves you selfish bastards.

You ruined our meal out, which is a very rare treat for us these days thanks a fucking bunch for that.

So true

Not us, boys are now 12 &10, but we only do one course because they find anything us a course to far and as for coffee!

I have two boys - 10yr (ASD) and 7yrs - I always take a selection of stuff with me but as they have got older the electronic items have taken over. They do play on them at the table - with headphones in if necessary. Once food arrives they go away.

To others it may appear terrible that we are ignoring our children but.... we eat every day as a family round the table and talk. Meals out generally follow a family day out and maybe ...just maybe my DH and I would like to have a conversation about things we want!!

These threads always have people saying "oh how dreadful to let your children run around in restaurants", and yet, I know several people who do allow this
I was in a naice tea room/cafe/ national trust type place with my friend, her DP and her two kids (4 and 6), and my ds (7). The kids had been outside running around for two hours, so not just got out of a car, and 5 minutes in, her two went off into another section of the place, where we couldn't see them, and were running around. Friend and DP just sat there, ignoring it, while DS looked at me, on the edge of his seat, and I glared at him saying "don't even think about it" with my eyes, at which point he jumped off his chair, and hared off after them, which was my cue to go "Oh no I don't think so!", and immediately went and brought him back, at which point my friends sort of eye rolled each other, and reluctantly went to get their kids. They think I am some sort of authoritarian nazi, I know they do.

When it's just me and DS, he will sit and eat, and be fine. It wouldn't even occur to me to bring toys, or give him my phone anymore. He does sometimes bring a book, and I read the paper
I think it helps that he likes food though. Kids who like their grub are much easier to take out to eat. Another friend has a ten year old who just hates food, and he gets given the I pad everywhere they go to stop him playing up.

It is easy to sit and talk to one three year old and keep her occupied. Sounds like they have three kids, one of whom is a baby. Maybe they could have paid attention but maybe they were knackered/distracted? Also babies cry for other reasons than being hungry.

Attitudes like yours are why I only feel comfortable acting out with my kids in France!

Paid more attention

Yes, having kids who love their food is certainly helpful! Mine would much rather eat their lovely food than muck about!

ratqueen if parents can not cope with their own children in a restaurant, then they shouldn't go IMO! And, yes the people in the OP do sound distracted! by their bloody phones!

We've taken our DC to restaurants since they were small and we've had comments from other diners, one more than one occasion, on how well behaved they were. The fact is, badly behaved children in restaurants are in a minority so most parents can manage to keep their kids occupied.

Knackered/distracted? Playing on their phones instead of concentrating on being parents you mean. We all have knackered days but it doesn't absolve us from responsibility of parenting.

Are we against kids in trolleys now?

In particular, kids in trolleys with dog poo on their shoes, which is then going to get transferred to the next user's shopping. (I think that's the official MN stance, anyhow).

But then we must remember that some kids are incapable of walking around a supermarket without having a tantrum because they have allergies.

I'm possibly the only one who feels like this but, parenting of my children is down to me and I do it. I really, really don't like it when people come up to comment on good behaviour. Please, go about your business.

... and that's really NOT a stealth boast, it doesn't happen often but it makes me cringe. Good behaviour shouldn't be so exceptional that people have to comment on it, it should be expected.

Agree ref the phone thing, but not that because the OP can distract one child then distracting three, one of whom is a baby, is the same thing.

I would love to feel I can take my kids out to dinner more but I generally do not feel comfortable because of how other people see children in restaurants (not helped by families like this!).

It's one thing having badly behaved children in public - I can imagine a scenario involving having to take non-restaurant friendly children to a restaurant. (e.g. family is away from home for some unavoidable reason and restaurant is only place to get food.) That might be annoying for other diners, but I suppose sometimes s**t happens.

It's quite another to make no effort to manage them and ask for a free meal when your child trips up a waitress.

Ratqueen, most people don't mind so long as there is clearly an effort being made on the part of the parents. It's when there is no attempt and they just let them run wild that people tut and get arsey.

My kids are well past this age now, but when they were toddlers we were very strict about the no running around in restaurant things.

Like others have said, we always had a rucksack stuffed with paper, games, comics, puzzles - whatever necessary to fill the gap between ordering and food arriving, or finishing and leaving.

But what used to really piss me off was when other parents hadn't bothered to get off their backsides to organise anything similar for their kids (or have the creative imagination to do origami with the napkins ) and then we would get ALL the bloody kids in the restaurant crowding our table and trying to snatch things off the table.

I don't go out to eat in a restaurant to run a creche!

To be honest, we always avoided restaurants with designated kids play areas or play tables, as it simply encouraged the children to run back and forth from the tables.
When Pizza Express went all 'family friendly' a few years ago we simply stopped going. I think they completely misunderstood that people went there because it was sort of a 'proper restaurant' when the kids could learn to behave, rather than yet another fast food place.

If nothing will make you control your dcs in restaurants then surely you need to from a safety angle. My friend aged 6 was running around a restaurant when she went smack into a waiter carrying a tray of hot soup. She suffered 3rd degree burns and had years of skin grafts. Even now the scars are clearly visible ( face, neck and chest) and she still blames her parents for not stopping her.

This is in no way getting at anyone, my ds was exactly the same as your child but my niece and nephew (brought up in Italy)have been able to sit still for a family meal lasting several hours without much entertainment since they were about 3-4 years old. Maybe it is their character or maybe they were trained correctly and I am a shit parent to ds, in either case I am glad ds is no longer that age and expected to do this, it was sooooo stressful when we used to visit Italy.

Ratqueen I have six children and manage them just fine thank you, so I have little sympathy for this family and yes the baby was hungry, but was made to wait. It just so happened that we only had DD with us on Saturday, but usually it would be all 7/8 of us (depending on whether DS will grace us with his presence!

And if they were knackered and distracted then I would suggest a takeaway in front of the TV would have been a better idea.

I have no problem with kids playing on (silent) ipads in restaurants while waiting for the food to arrive. The priority is to be considerate towards other diners.

Easier for me now as my kids are older, but they were taken out for meals from being very young and under no circumstances were they allowed to run around. If they got fractious then DH would take them outside until their food arrived. I always went armed with colouring books etc.

People like the OP describes just sound like scroats of society who give the whole country a bad name.

Whether the children can sit at the table or run around is ultimately due to the parents.
We can choose to let them run around or not.

If there is space for it and it doesn't disturb anyone, I'm happy to let my DS run wild and spend his energy once he's eaten, or if the food takes time to arrive. If we are in a packed restaurant and no space for him to go around, he'll have to sit quietly.

Most times we are somewhat in between, where he is allowed to quietly circulate around the table (usually with cousins), or go check deserts for example. He can be allowed to play a bit on electronic gadgets, but not all the time.

I remember being taken to eat in a restaurant when I was about 6. My brother and sister would have been 4 and 2.

Now, we never ever ate out, not even in McDonalds, because it was too expensive. My aunt and uncle were paying for the meal and both families had had to meet halfway so there had been a long journey there and my parents weren't in a position to leave early.

So, we were 3 young children, in a restaurant for the first time ever after having been stuck in the car for hours just to get there. All I remember is getting thoroughly overexcited, running around and crawling under chairs and tables (I remember the pattern on the carpet). I also remember totally ignoring my parents warnings as I was having so much fun until my brain kicked in and I realised we had gone too far.

Oh boy did we pay for that on the way home and for years afterwards. It was used as an excuse (or maybe a valid reason) to avoid ever taking us to restaurants ever again.

We used to go out about once a year to this Chinese restaurant. It had those tables that spin round, and crazy red and gold decor, and I thought it was literally the most glamorous place in the world. I remember all of us being hushed and on best behaviour because it was such a special treat, and my dad ordering a about 12 dishes for us all to try some of everything.
Maybe the fact that we NEVER went to restaurants aside from this, and we knew it was an expensive thing to do, made us respect the experience. Also the food was great, and different, and that was a big draw too. We would be there for at least 2 or 3 hours, and while I remember being full and feeling sleepy after a while and being ready to go home I don't think we ever had coloring stuff, or puzzles. We were expected to make conversation or just be quiet. It didn't kill us.
Kids today get taken out so much, they have become like American kids. They take it for granted. My kid is not remotely impressed by restaurants, not hushed or overawed at all! I do expect him to sit and behave though. Expectation is a huge part of it.

Sorry Porquoi-that reads like I am saying "well I was ever so good! I wasn't that good the rest of the time, I promise!

What the heck are you doing on MUMSnet then, Gartenzwerg

Last time I checked there was no rule that stated you had to be a parent to join this forum. Many members on here don't have children, myself included. You don't need to be a parent to talk about pets, style and beauty, cooking and recipes, films, TV shows, health and the many other topics you can talk about here. As a matter of fact, I would say 90% of topics here have nothing or little to do with parenting so why non parents join to talk about other things?

Also, it may be called MUMSnet but there are even men on here too...