My DS is starting secondary school in September. It's a different school from the one my older DC went to. This is a new school in its second year and the staff seem to have a lot of enthusiasm and a commitment to discipline, respect and high standards which is why I chose it for him.
The head talked about a no-opt policy for all pupils, indicating that everyone has to participate in everything regardless of their inclination, reasons or excuses. Because of this, they are quite firm about not making concessions for any pupils for any reasons whatsoover.
This brings us to the compulsory residential trip. It's three days in the Lake District, in November, just a couple of months after they start school. It's not entirely an educational trip- it's discussed as an opportunity to bond with other pupils and staff and get to know each other. My son, is not too keen to go for a number of reasons. He finds it very difficult to sleep in new places; sleeping in a tent seems to him, like the worse way to spend a night, never mind three; he has never been on a residential before and is very apprehensive about going away with people who are at the moment, still strangers to him; the school is very uncompromising on students individual needs and he feels will be forced to participate in activities that he doesn't want to; he will miss an important event at sports club he goes to outside of school that he is really looking forward to.
I, as his parent, also have some reservations. The school is totally uncompromising on faith issues and I feel that DS will be made to feel like he is different and mocked when he prays. The head teacher has also shown that he will not be very accommodating of his religious needs even though they are very simple requests (he needs a quiet corner of a library/classroom for 10 mins during their lunch break to pray during a school day and this request was not recieved very well by the head. That in itself, is another story and I want MNers opinion on that too in another thread so I can ascertain if we're being unreasonable).
I also feel that if he doesn't want to go, he shouldn't be forced to. There will be other opportunities to go on residentials when he is a little older and more familiar with his school teachers and by that time, his confidence will have hopefully grown so that he goes willingly.
So, AIBU to tell the head he will not be attending? Can the school impose this upon us if he doesn't want to go? Where do I stand and what advice would you give in such a situation?