AIBU to not want to cook dinner if I'm a SAHP?

[CraicWhore]

Since having DS 23 months and DD 6 months I absolutely hate cooking and I'm not that great at it anyway. I'm a SAHM through circumstance not choice. I want to go back to work but can't until DD gets a nursery place and DH refuses to take time off work to help with childcare.
If the children are fed and I'm happy to have a bowl of cereal for tea is it unreasonable if I tell DH he has to sort his own suppers out?

I think YABU. DH is a SAHD. The current project I'm working on requires returning home on certain days at 8:45 or so, not much later than the OP's DH, a thirteen hour day and it is hard work. I don't think it's too much to expect my DH to set aside some of the food he's already prepared for me or him to recook when I get home. Once the project is over, so a few months away, and I get home at 6:45 each day, I will make dinner.

And I can't even drink ATM! must be pregnancy hormones

Great post slithy. Completely disgusted by some of the attitudes on here. Why do people feel the need to slag off everyone who does things differently to themselves? I'm sure we're all just trying to do our best.

I think its impossible to compare one person's reality of being a SAHP with another's. I have been a SAHP for 14 years - quite honestly it has been incredibly easy, I had loads of time to doss about, do voluntary work, mumnet go to the gym, meet friends etc etc - maybe I was lucky in that I had 'easy' DC who slept a lot and obviously my housekeeping standards must be pretty lax compared to some Mumsnetters who say housework takes them all day .

Also I find cooking very straightforward and preparing an evening meal takes me no time at all.

However, since returning to work I am shattered, I work in a high pressure environment, no breaks at all, lucky to sit down for ten minutes for lunch - cannot leave the building as I am the only responsible person (note - I love the job and there are lots of perks ) - but being a SAHP was much, much easier and yes, I considered it part of my 'role' to prepare the evening meal for DH - who always appreciated it.

My dog takes a lot of work too. After I have fed, walked, groomed trained her it is already one o'clock in the afternoon

Lucky you Ragwort. Like you say, it's impossible to compare. I have a 6 month old DD who hasn't napped for longer than 20 mins at a time during the day since she was born. Previously worked in a high pressure environment in a fairly senior role, long hours, but at least I got an uninterrupted nights sleep and an occasional lunch break . Plus half an hour peace and quiet in the car to work every morning and home every evening!

Lucky you Ragwort. Like you say, it's impossible to compare. I have a 6 month old DD who hasn't napped for longer than 20 mins at a time during the day since she was born. Previously worked in a high pressure environment in a fairly senior role, long hours, but at least I got an uninterrupted nights sleep and an occasional lunch break . Plus half an hour peace and quiet in the car to work every morning and home every evening!

Where has anyone said that housework takes them all day?

Oh also, the job I'm on maternity leave from is way more demanding and time consuming than what I do now. Might change when DD arrives, might not.

However, the amount of work in the home DH had to do when I was working double his hours was ridiculous. I was working 7am-10pm plus travel time, there would be no option for family life whatsoever. So his household jobs are massively reduced, we spend time together now, we are both happier.

And incidentally, after he has spent a day at home chasing after DS and keeping the house straight - not even doing any of the other stuff I do - he openly admits his job is easier.

So as others have said, it's different for everyone and therefore shouldn't be judged.

This is a temporary problem as soon one of you will need to start cooking for the DC's - for the next err 18 years? ! Time to start working out some easy suppers I think.
My teenager likes cereal for tea as he is a child too lazy to cook but it is not a healthy habit.

The thing I miss most about work is that I could have a quiet poo in peace, with out an audience. DH gets this every day, so for that reason alone, if I never even made toast for supper I would not BU.

Craic- having small DC's is unrelenting hard work. It will get easier ! Try to enjoy the stage you are at and somehow try not to resent your role. There is a lot of drudgery to deal with, that's life but it will change quickly.
As for food, try to find easy ways to sort this - cook stuff like bolognaise in bulk and freeze. It will be good for you all eat well.
Your DH also needs to give you some time off at the weekend to recharge, a lie in once a week for example.
My DC's are much older but I went away recently and DH effectively did my role for a week and I was pleased on my return he said how hectic it was with 3 kids and a dog to sort out.