I am a SAHM (though freelance when asked). Dh out from 7.45 until 6pm. Not working hard manually. I'd say during the course of my day I do more heavy lifting and physical "work" than dh.
Have 2 school age dc and one at home.
I don't cook specifically for dh. If I'm making something I think he would like, I'll dish up as he gets home. If I'm making something I don't think he'd fancy, I'll dish up earlier.
Quite often though, as have 2 fussy dcs, or things going on club-wise I will make something specifically for the kids and will have something light later myself.
Dh doesn't complain. My "job" isn't actually to do 100% of the household stuff. I'm not a 50s housewife and he is perfectly capable of cooking if he wants something in particular although he quite often chooses to make himself something simple instead, just as I do.
It's not disrespectful of demonstrative of a shortcoming in our relationship. Just a recognition of the fact that family life is fluid and the simple fact that I am the one at home/with dcs during the day does not turn me into a domestic help. I do all the household stuff that I can during the day and in the evening we are a team dealing with whatever needs doing, whether that's bath times, story times, folding washing or loading the dishwasher. We don't have man jobs/woman jobs (like the idea that men do the bins and cut the grass or decorate and women cook and clean).
I am the one at home because we wanted one of us to be around when kids still young and it made sense that way because of my freelance capacity and dh's superior salary. Not because I am intrinsically more skilled at domestic stuff. And it was never the plan that in staying at home I would turn into dh's mother and tend to his every need. He's a grown up, more than capable of looking after himself.
I don't actually think the op is unreasonable. The expectation that in being the one to stay at home means she should morph into domestic goddess is outdated. Fair enough, if she is cooking something reheat able for the children, she could plate up for the dh as well. And as the children get older and perhaps eat more in the evenings, then that is more likely to happen. But the op is obviously also keen to get back to work, and I suspect that when she does, the dh in this case will still expect food on the table and domestic stuff sorted for his grand return in the evening, regardless of whether she has done a day at work herself as well as dealing with the organisation of children/school/child care. Sounds very unfair to me.