AIBU to not want to cook dinner if I'm a SAHP?

[CraicWhore]

Since having DS 23 months and DD 6 months I absolutely hate cooking and I'm not that great at it anyway. I'm a SAHM through circumstance not choice. I want to go back to work but can't until DD gets a nursery place and DH refuses to take time off work to help with childcare.
If the children are fed and I'm happy to have a bowl of cereal for tea is it unreasonable if I tell DH he has to sort his own suppers out?

Not unreasonable. DH is not prepared to make any compromise so why should you when you are not there by choice?

I think you are being very unreasonable and quite selfish too

What are the DC fed on? Can't DH just eat that?

Didn't see he refuses. Can you elaborate on that point? That changes things!

I think you are being very unreasonable and quite selfish too

Why? If they were both working he would sort himself out or share cooking duties.

Don't see why you should make seething do tea if you aren't bothered.

I think it's all a bit sad to think like that.

How hard is it too make an extra portion what ever the DC are having.

Also what do you mean by take time off work?

You sound proper pissed off OP. More to it I'm guessing?

Feed him what dcs are having

Its not healthy for you to live on cereal either

DS goes to nursery. ( we have to pay while I'm on mat leave whether he goes or not ) and he has his a big lunch there so for tea he usually only wants something light like a bit of ham and salad or crackers and fruit. Dd is only just being weaned so she still has milk mostly.
We would be better off financially if I went back to work and he looked after the children but he just won't budge on that point. He's a self employed builder so it's hardly a glittering, high flying career. (Not saying mine is either)
I

I am a little confused about this post. If you are a SAHM why does your DH have any need to take time off to help with childcare? I can see that if you were unwell or something he might have to but surely the whole point of being a SAHM (or D for that matter) is to support the other partner on maintaining a full time job.

On the cooking thing i think it is a little selfish to expect someone to work all day and not at least have put some thought into their evening meal. I might be old fashioned but when i was a SAHM i always had something sorted out for dinner for both of us. It might have been something easy to shove in the oven but i would have been glad to provide a meal for my DH.

What time does your DH get in at night? Don't you enjoy sitting down with him to chat over dinner?

Ah, I see. You're tearing your hair out a bit I guess. Why won't he budge?

I hate cooking too. I think you should reach some sort of compromise in that perhaps you do a cooked meal a few times a week rather than every night. And maybe a takeaway at least one night a week if you can afford it.

Well. Um.
No I don't think YAbu.
You've both been busy and you've fed the children.

I was off today with the dcs. Dh was working. He came home and made dinner. There's enough to do with them tbh.small children ate pretty full on.

Although my working days are still more intense than my home days.
I think it might be a bit off if ou never made dinner for you both. Your week probably has the potential for more fitting in of stuff like meal landing and cooking than his.

There has to be more to it than that.. if i'm at home all day and the husband is out grafting, I can't imagine not having something ready for him unless he tells me not to bother because of his shifts.

However your posts reads 'you won't help with childcare so make your own fucking tea' type of resentment because you feel forced into your role.

Although you seem quite angry about it, YANBcompletelyU. I sort of understand where you're coming from - I'm a SAHM and DH cooks all our dinners when he finishes with work. I'm just too knackered at the end of a looooong day with DC. He's a better cook anyway.

Perhaps you could set up a rota and share the cooking responsibility?

Yanbu. A bit mean to do that every night though, but a few nights of the week is acceptable. I'm sure if he has a bit of notice on when you CBA he could knock something up for the both of you.

I'm currently on maternity leave with a 6 month old and my DH gets home from work at 7pm and makes dinner for us both. It works for us, so I don't feel guilty. DH would rather I spend time playing with DD than cooking dinner!

So you're on maternity leave? When are you going back and what will happen then?

It sounds like a sorry situation tbh, and not much of family if you are all doing your own thing and won't consider each other's point of view.

OP: maybe your DH isn't suited to being a SAHD. It has to be about more than the money.

If he knows he would make a bad job of it then he shouldn't do it.

Eating a bowl of cereal for dinner isn't really a good healthy option.
I think it's a bit mean not to cook when you are at home. Can you not get some simple recipes and have a go.

I'm currently on maternity leave with a 6 month old and my DH gets home from work at 7pm and makes dinner for us both. It works for us, so I don't feel guilty. DH would rather I spend time playing with DD than cooking dinner!

X post. I just read about nursery.
Yes. YAbu. Sorry.
Not every day. I think it's fair enough to not have the full burden of evening meals on one person.
But he is being a bit unreasonable by not considering a change to the set up.

I'm currently on maternity leave with a 6 month old and my DH gets home from work at 7pm and makes dinner for us both. It works for us, so I don't feel guilty. DH would rather I spend time playing with DD than cooking dinner!