to take my DD out of end of the year production in Y6???

[katmat3]

Please tell me because lately I am not thinking with clear head.
My DD is not chosen again for any part ( except singing and dancing with few other kids) . It's not the first time and maybe my pregnancy hormones are working but it's something that is happening all the time. I am aware as other few parents are that headmistress has certain kids that she always puts up as a frontrunners for everything ..But for everything all the time??? Really???I am talking about last 3 years.
Same kids,same main parts.I am gutted for my DD. I am not bragging but she is really good ,confident,very committed to her work or any given task but she just has bad luck.
This production is for Y6 mainly and she actually doesn't have any part.I signed the letter for her to give tomorrow that she will not participate (only one probably) but I can't let her always be in the corner while the SAME kids are always doing the parts...
AIBU???Please.
If I missed anything I will add....

Annielouise - I haven't used the phrase whineyarse. As I said I think my son should be given the part he suits, I don't think he should be given an ensemble role because he's had a big part the year before. Just as I do not expect him to be given a part on a school sports team because it's 'always the same children & everyone should have a go'.

Why is it only drama productions where it's seen as something that has to be shared around? Drama sessions can be very inclusive - one of the groups ds2 attends runs on those lines - but if you want to put on a good production then you need to cast appropriately. (The inclusive group he attends doesn't do public performances).

In terms of his year 6 play - it was a pretty small group so fairly easy to give everyone something to do. He didn't have the 'main' part btw or the most lines but the part he had suited him & I can see why he was cast as he was. He persuaded the director to let him add a solo as well.

I'd wait to see the play to see how 'left out' the child is. Often when a show is put together the smaller parts can be the ones that shine. The rehearsals for the year 6 play were hideous, teacher took it very seriously, kids were all coming home slamming doors & in tears (& not just mine - all the parents were complaining) - but on the night the show was great & it did come together & was a good send off for year 6.

Anyway - when someone can explain to me why drama productions have to have parts shared around but sports teams don't I'll understand. Until then think of a drama production as the equivalent of a school sports team - selecting the best child for each role/position. Drama groups/sessions can be the same as class or inclusive sports sessions. Ds2 gets to play football (which he loves) when anyone can, he never gets picked for a school team - despite loving football. Being part of a school team would make his year - it's never going to happen.

His siblings are never going to get a big part on a school production (& I would be terrified of they did tbh) but one in particular does get picked for the odd school sports team.

And why are people always so snotty about kids who are good at performing? It's always 'oh they're not as good as you think, so and so is just as good'. Kids who do a lot of performing do get assessed regularly against everyone else (at auditions). If they're getting cast regularly by major & West End casting directors I'd say they were probably pretty good - even if they're not right for ever role.

If someone's picked for a County or National sports team you don't get 'oh they're not as good as they think they are, little johnny is just as good but doesn't get the chance s'not fair'.

Thank god ds2's primary didn't do a lot of performances.

I have a teacher friend where a mother stormed in to ask why her DD, yet again, hadn't got a speaking part. Friend looked bemused and said 'but she didn't want one'- mother came back next day, having checked out, and apologised. It must be very difficult if you want to be on the back row of the chorus and you mother wants the opposite. The boy next door to us didn't even want that and he did the lights! Are you sure she is bothered?
If she is a thwarted actor you could do it out of school.

saintlyjimjams, I never said you used the phrase whineyarse. It was someone upthread.

Of course parts in drama productions should be shared around! What parent wants to go and see someone else's kid in the lead every year? Or the same kids?

I don't understand why people feel this shouldn't be different from picking a sports team. The reason is a sports team is chosen to compete with other schools. They want and need the very best to beat other teams and come top of the league - a drama production isn't a competition so no you don't need the "best", however that could be measured, chosen every time. I don't see how hard that is to understand. If you want to let everyone into the sports team then you do it on the basis you won't be playing other schools which sort of is the point

I don't agree with parents storming in. How to show yourself up for sure. I'm sure there are pushy parents doing that and I don't agree with it. It's one of those unfortunate things that you have to suck up but there is favouritism going on definitely.

We're doing an end of year show for y2 next term. We are an infants so this is our big One. It's a legal one with performance rights etc and with permissions to amend roles, share roles etc. Main roles will be shared between two with a swap over half way through. Did this last year and it worked very well. we've done not so legal ones in the past when writing our own versions if known stories. It's fairly common ime.

We have 90 children to find parts for. We held auditions yesterday. 11 children yesterday choose not to audition. Their choice. They will form part of the ensemble. They'll be in costume and singing but no real acting or lines.

The auditions were simple but fair. They'd taken one or two lines home to learn over a week. They came back and stood in groups. When their turn they stepped forward, told us their name and delivered a line. No fuss. In front of their peers. Lots of encouragement.

Judging panel was 2 class teachers, 2 TAs and a parent volunteer (latter has no child in school anymore so no bias). We each had a sheet which had 4 columns and listed children accordingly based on their performance, 1 being capable of main role with lots of lines; 4 being best off in ensemble and then others in between.

Today 3 class teachers and 3 TAs will have a meeting and decide on parts based on those.

It's fair and all children have a chance. No bias as there are 6 of us from the year group making a joint decision.

Every single child in our y2 will appear in stage at some point. Feel that's important.

Hullababy - sounds a good way to do it, but heaven forbid if you cast someone in a main role who happens to be good or who's mum is in the PTA. There will be muttering.

Annielouise - but school sports aren't hugely important - why does it matter who wins? Surely everyone should have a go? (Actually I don't believe that - bug I also think school productions can be good - if the appropriate person is cast for each role - if this means the same child having big parts in more than one year so what?)

And yes - it's cringing when children who do not want to be on stage are forced to the front - every bit of me feels for them.

And yes I agree that every child should appear on stage at some point if they want to - I just don't object to kids who are good at drama getting more than one main part in their school career.

I would also say to anyone whinging - wait to SEE the production. Children measure the importance of their role by the number of lines. Often the roles with fewer lines can be the ones that stand out because it's a comedy role or stands out in some other way.

Its not the fault of the kids who get the parts. When my kids were in plays and assemblies the same kids were chosen to star - and in nearly all cases their parents were also teachers (at different schools).
I'm afraid we just have to suck it up as no-one is going to admit it is favouritism and arse-licking.
You're not being unreasonable.

saintlyjimjams, sports are traditionally played for the competition. It's not about whether you think they're important or not. Nothing is that important when it boils down to it but the school football or netball team are chosen to beat other schools. And there is a lot to be said for team work etc, which is important, no? I really don't understand how people can't understand that . It doesn't stop kids training in the after school club or doing these sports in PE/games but only the best will be chosen as that's the nature of it, always has been.

And no, no one has said your DS can't have two large roles during his whole school career, so in 7/8 years. As said ad nauseam the OP is upset that the same ones have had it 3 years in a row. I don't think the same ones should have that. It's so obvious the ones disagreeing are the ones whose kids are doing drama outside of school. No one wants to watch your kid especially but you.

Annie - you're just being unpleasant now. No one wants to watch anyone's child in a play if that child is uncomfortable. Also, and I don't care if I'm flamed, no one really wants to watch a child who really can't hold a tune singing a solo.

School drama is a minefield, yes. But every single drama teacher wants the show to be GOOD. In that way, it IS like sport. The teachers will spend weeks working on it. Of course they want it to be good. People are paying to see it. No one wants to pay to watch a mediocre show.

And to the poster claiming that it's the children of teachers "in different schools" who get the main parts, it's never occurred to me to ask children their parents' occupations when they audition. Perhaps I should. Might make the job of casting a show a bit easier.

Exactly molding - this idea that child performers are all over the top eyes & teeth is irritating. Any West End CD will tell you they go for children who are natural - not over the top. And in film it's even more important that a child actor can be subtle.

Agree with you about ensemble roles as well. No-one would talk about someone 'only' bring in the ensemble in ds2's most recent show. They were absolutely outstanding dancers & singers. The show couldn't have existed without them. We talked about how amazing they were just as much as we talked about the leads & ds2 was in awe of how much work they put in.

My son isn't a teacher's child (how on earth would the influence spread across schools), nor am I an active member of any PTA, nor am I a governor, nor was he a particular favourite of the teachers, nor is he loud (quite the opposite - he's actually shy) any role he gets is because whoever is doing the casting had decided he fits it.

I understand your feeling sad if your DD feels sad about it, OP, and disagree utterly with any forms of favouritism, but I have a somewhat different spin on this.

You say at the very start of the thread that your child has represented the school in various competitions - really shining as someone special.
Do you think there may have been parents who resented that it was always your child who was chosen?
Every child is able to shine at something. Perhaps your daughter has had time in the limelight in these other areas, so the production is giving children who don't have her abilities in those areas the chance to also shine by giving them speaking parts?

EvilTwins, when did I ever say put forward a child that's going to be uncomfortable? When did I ever say put forward a child that can't hold a tune

How am I being unpleasant saying I don't want to go and see the same kids year after year being at the front when there are others could do just as good a job?

And if I'm not mistaken you're secondary. By then I do think more talent is coming out whereas in primary age 10 and 11 they're not that developed yet on the whole. And yes no doubt there'll be some posters coming saying my kids has got this that and the other certificate to his/her name etc as no doubt they have but I've been to about 15 years worth of primary school plays and very rarely have I been bowled away. Secondary, yes, I've been impressed at times.

Annielouise - you have been rude about child performers all the way through this thread. There are some children who at the age of 10/11 are very good & I personally think they should be given the opportunity to shine at school as well. Why shouldn't they?

There are plenty of opportunities for inclusive school drama (ds3 who can't act his way out of a paper bag enjoys a school drama club) just as there are opportunities for inclusive school sport (ds2 attends various school sports clubs). But a production is a bit like a competition - it's much better if it's good. Cast the kids in the roles that suit them, recognise that might mean the same kid cast in a large role for several years because they're the only ones who can remember the lines (some children cannot remember lines & it's not fair to expose them).

I would hate to have to cast a primary school play - so much sniping.

And yes agree with the previous poster it's very unfair to cast a child who cannot sing in tune in a singing role - one way to destroy a child's confidence.

How do you know these other children are just as good Annie? How do you know they even want the role?

And again - thank god ds2's primary school drama was mainly inclusive clubs rather than full productions.

oh I've been rude - righto!

As said time and again, no one is saying a child shouldn't be allowed to shine but there are many that want to (not just your child) - and can for the level required - and should be given the chance which is why the leads should be changed each year. Why? Because then it avoids the accusation of favouritism when it is so blatant to the parents watching that a few others could have done just as good a job. It happens which is why there are threads like this.

As said before, I've never said cast a child that can't sing a tune! You're making this up as you go along! No teacher would be mad enough to do that and where have I ever said that should happen? Bizarre.

Because I've got kids saintly, because I've helped out at schools, because I know other parents, because I know the kids well that my DS went to school with, because I know that the two that got chosen in his Year 6 production were favoured (fact - friend was a teacher at the school and she knew where it was coming from) and I also knew others could have done just as good a job and were keen as well. It happens.

Annie - my objection was to you saying something along the lines of "no one wants to watch your child except you" which is bloody rude.

I hate the accusations of "favouritism". Teachers are professionals, FFS.

Favouritism implies that teachers have personal feelings about some children, that they actively like some and dislike others.

I admit, I do have my "go to" group - for example last week I had a group of students competing in a festival with a group from a school for disabled students. Two of my lot dropped out, so I went straight to two others and asked them to step in. No auditions, no chance for anyone else who might fancy a go. Why? Because these two are 100% reliable, and at that short notice, that's what I needed.

Oh please EvilTwins, of course favouritism goes on. How laughable that you think it doesn't. Teachers are supposed to be professionals and that's what we parents would like to see but it doesn't always happen 100% of the time - that's where disappointment can come in between parents and teachers at times. Please don't try to pull the wool over my eyes.

I'm entitled to my view, sorry you think it "bloody rude". No, I don't want to watch the same kids year after year - who would! People want to see their own kids getting a fair go if that's what they want and are capable. At primary school level it's not a choice between West End standard kids and those that can't hold a tune, can't act and don't want to be in it - there's usually others that are capable and want to be included and why shouldn't they? The whole point of this thread is the OP didn't think that was happening, others have said the same and I've seen/experienced it too. So sorry to shatter your delusions that teachers don't do stuff like this. Sometimes it's favouritism, sometimes it's laziness. You accuse me upthread of saying put forward kids that can't hold a tune, when I never said any such thing. Or put forward kids that don't want the attention - never said that either. You've tried to twist this round that I've said things I haven't.