to take my DD out of end of the year production in Y6???

[katmat3]

Please tell me because lately I am not thinking with clear head.
My DD is not chosen again for any part ( except singing and dancing with few other kids) . It's not the first time and maybe my pregnancy hormones are working but it's something that is happening all the time. I am aware as other few parents are that headmistress has certain kids that she always puts up as a frontrunners for everything ..But for everything all the time??? Really???I am talking about last 3 years.
Same kids,same main parts.I am gutted for my DD. I am not bragging but she is really good ,confident,very committed to her work or any given task but she just has bad luck.
This production is for Y6 mainly and she actually doesn't have any part.I signed the letter for her to give tomorrow that she will not participate (only one probably) but I can't let her always be in the corner while the SAME kids are always doing the parts...
AIBU???Please.
If I missed anything I will add....

annielouise--thank you for fully understanding what I am sad about.Thank you for that....

because summerbreezing there are lots of them that feel the same way! which is why there are so many threads like this, saying the same thing. I've found usually a kid knows if they're not good enough for team A or B at sports or not good enough for the school quiz team or maths team or whatever and are quite accepting of that but lots seem willing to give acting a go but can't because the same kids - who are not necessarily better than them - get prioritised for some reason. The OP is not the first to bring this up. It's not every school but it happens.

But saying no child should get a good part 2 years in a row is very general and would end up possibly being unfair to a child who is brilliant at acting and dancing but always somewhere near the bottom of class academically and last to be chosen for sports teams. That would be just unfair as allowing teachers' favourites, with no particular talent, to always have a speaking part.
I think auditioning is probably a fair way to go.

Sorry I've yet to see a kid brilliant at acting. Singing maybe, as some can, some can't. Most dancing I've seen on stage in primary has been of the mini elephant sort, not Isadora Duncan, and all the more enjoyable for that

I don't particularly want to see "brilliant" acting anyway and that's slightly subjective. There's the stage school kids who can be a bit Bonnie Langford - is that what you mean by "brilliant" acting? Not to me. I'm not saying they shouldn't get a good part 2 years in a row but not the main part or a large part when there's others that want to participate - and I find usually a desire to participate means they feel they can take on a role within reason. There's lots of kids not good at anything that might want to take part and why shouldn't they if they've never had the spotlight on them throughout primary? I just think that's being overlooked.

I'd probably agree - the kids would see it as fairer if there were auditions rather than random picking of the parts.

Has the OP's daughter been picked for lots of things though? I think it's great your DD got a decent part Molding and I'm sure it was well deserved. I think the OP just wants it to be more inclusive, as I'm sure most do. I don't think she's being unreasonable to say it's annoying and upsetting that 3 years in a row it's the same old faces when there are other kids, possibly like your DD Molding, that would love to be included.

I have seen children who are very talented at acting and I think such children fully deserve to have the leading role. Yes, spread the smaller speaking roles around; but don't deprive a child who's especially talented at having that talent endorsed just so your child can get a go at the leading role. I think that's terribly unfair.

Thing is Molding you pick the very best for the spelling bee and the maths competition where there might only be one or two put forward to take part and if it's an inter-school thing then you choose your best as it's a competition and the aim is to win.

With a school play though unless you've got a young Laurence Olivier in the year you've got a range of people to choose from usually, and it's also harder to pick the "best" versus picking the best for the spelling bee or the maths competition because that will be obvious - they'll be the ones getting the best marks.

I'm glad your DD got the chance to shine. Lots don't at anything which is sad. And all the more reason in my view to pick plays that have lots of equal parts and to maybe keep track in years 5 and 6 who had a chance to shine and whose turn it is next.

summerbreezing, the op isn't after the lead role for her child at all. She has never said that.

looking at this thread again makes me think teaching Y6 must be a fate worse than death

I hope you all get so many presents at the end of term you can't fit em in your cars

I'm not talking about the OP. I mean your view that the same child shouldn't get the lead role two years in a row. If there are equally talented children I agree. But in some cases there really is a stand out talent among the children and I think it would be unfair to ignore that in the interest of allowing lesser talented children to have a go at the lead part. I think parts can be distributed fairly (and I agree with a lot of what you say) but I also think it has to be done in a way that's fair to a particularly gifted actor - if there is one in the school

My experience there really isn't a "stand out" talent and even if there was I think others deserve a go so no I don't think the same kids should be getting main parts year in year out. I honestly haven't seen a gifted actor in all my years of sitting through school plays - not to the extent you're meaning. And if they are that gifted they're usually doing something along that line outside of school so have the chance to shine then. It's a year 6 school play. It should be more inclusive than 5, including the OP's DD, having nothing to say in it. And that seems to have come at the expense of some that have had the spotlight on them for 3 years. They can't be that gifted.

My DD has one of several 'leading' roles in the school play.
She had a single lead when she was year 2 I think because as the teacher said 'she's just unflappable. If the scenery falls down or someone forgets their lines she's fine'
She went through an audition process. This was with completely different staff who didn't really know the chikdren. Each child picked what they wanted to try out for and there are roles , as big or small as the child wants, for everyone. Some have asked not to be on stage because some children don't enjoy it.
Dd is really happy. But I still know of a parent who is constantly whining about it because my dd got the role her dd wanted. Apparently, because it coincided with my dd getting several mentions on the school website for a couple of very good swims, it's favouritism

It's all such bollocks. Whineyarse bollocks.

Maybe in your DD's case it was whineyarse bollocks but it's not in every case.

I also agree with springy.
I want to be a fly on the wall when a parent complains about their child not getting an high profile role.
One of my friends is a drama teacher. I must get her drunk...

No, i honestly think it usually is.
My ds1 was never picked.Never. It was uncanny.
A great kid, he never won award or seemed to get any recognition. We used to joke about him 'flying under the radar'.
At times he got frustrated. Honestly I felt for him. But wrapping it up in indignation and some kind of anger is odd. And whineyarse.

I admit i was a bit that when DD1 did her Yr2 Christmas Play it was a child that had been at the school a term that got the main speaking and singing part. There were about 5 other parts and the rest of the year was just on stage sitting there and not doing alot.

DD1 was sad as she wanted a part that involved dancing as she was doing ballet at the time but was told that she 'wasn't what they were after'.

I just told her that she is top in year for reading (teacher told us at parents evening) and that that was more important to me than a half an hour show piece and that she could dance for me at home anytime and it would be more special

I must make sure my DD represents her school in a Maths, English, Science, History, Geography and PE competitions this year - She may be crap at them all but hey! whats that got to do with it??

Wilson - don't give up, you never know what your child might surprise you with. This year one of our lead parts was played by a child with SN. He can't read but he can certainly sing and act!

Sport is not taught in the same way as Drama, which I think I mentioned in my post above. The children are given a complete training in the game for their age group and significantly more time is devoted to it during a school week to achieve this. In this way, we have set out to teach the children how to play rugby. Conversely, we have not set out to teach them how to act.

I know this is off topic but that's so sad! Why on earth not? Is rugby more important??

I completely get you OP. This is the last show of her last year of primary school... Not 1 child should be 'on the side'.
They should all be on stage and all participating. The younger years should be on the side maybe, but not year 6.

I'm a drama teacher.. It pains me when I see my daughter, and others kids in her class, who would be capable of a bit more. They just don't get given the chance..
I mostly blame large class groups but I also blame the teachers involved for not recognising that some children need someone to 'give them the chance.'

My daughter is year 4 and I'm worried we'll have this when she's in year 6.

My daughter is actually quite capable and does drama out of school.. But she never 'puts herself forward', so she gets bypassed all the time for things. There's a couple of kids in her class who are very talented and get speaking parts in every show going...

It really reeeeeally drives me bonkers sometimes.. She'll be in year 5 next year, and when the dish out parts then, I'll speak to the teacher and say that I'll expect my dd to be given 'more' of an opportunity this year, as she was overlooked the last few years.

That's all I can do for her really.

But I have to accept that my dd is not me, and not a confident, out going drama queen who loves the limelight!
;-)

I have to accept that she is who she is.. And that if she doesn't want to grab opportunities and 'go for it' .. Then so be it. I can help her and guide her along the way, and slowly ease out her 'petals' and let her bloom and shine over time.

I've got 4 kids, and have been unbelievably hormonal and I don't handle things like this well.

Luckily my dd isn't upset about missed opportunities and seems fine to just accept things for as they are. However, if she was upset, I would speak to the head teacher. And if it worked, great.. If it didn't. I'd say be honest about our feelings and give the head evil stares from under my sunglasses for the rest of the term! ;-) I would also say to dd, that sometimes in life, we have to sit back and see other people/friends get given opportunities. It's hard, but that's life.. And that her time, my dd, WILL come.

I'm sure there'll be bigger knocks ahead of our baby girls.. It's horrible to witness.. But we need to prepare them for life's ups and downs.

You're not alone.. The head is an arse for keeping those kids off the stage altogether in their last ever junior show. Shame on him or her.

Have you spoken to the other kids parents?? What are their thoughts??

Xxx

I admit i was a bit sad that when DD1 did her Yr2 Christmas Play it was a child that had been at the school a term that got the main speaking and singing part.

So? I gave a child who had been at the school less than a week a main part in a play this term. We did the auditions on his third day and he absolutely blew everyone away. Serious talent. Why do you have to have 'do your time' at a school before earning recognition?

ManicInsomniac (I love your name btw). Because those who excel at singing, dance, drama and throw all their energy into it must take a backseat and allow those who cant sing, dance or act have the main parts - to make their parents happy - of course!!! After all the year 6 show is the most important event in their childs life - is it not??

Hi everyone and thank you for your input.Please understand what I am writing about--I am not asking for main part or most of the part-I am not but one line surely should be more than enough for the 5 kids including my DD.
I never talked about it,never complained but wait a minute,this now is a little bit too much.
It's not London Palladium performance with talent scouts or BBC show,it's for Y6 parents .It's just very sad.
Today she ,DD, explained to me--she wont even be on the stage ,she will be on the side doing so called dancing (rocking +clapping) and singing.
Head is a lady and I lost trust in her,teachers,school system and fairness.
On top of that I will still have to pay £4 per adult and £2 per child to watch same kids in a row (3 years in a row) .I am gutted.....